Thom’s POV
I guess August was the shortest month. I remember thinking that it was only the end of July and the next thing that hit me was the fact that it was August 19th.
I was sitting on the bed, my hands shaking, flipping through the piles of records just after I got home from buying a ticket for the train that would leave in three days time. There was something bitter on my tongue and my throat was parched, and I clearly needed music to distract me. But not Joy Division – because, well, Joy Division is his favorite band, and definitely not REM, because we usually listen to them together. My fingers were cold for some reason as I skimmed through the familiar pile rapidly – there was nothing that wouldn’t remind me of this summer and the fact that it was going to end soon. I dropped on my knees and looked under my bed, remembering that I’ve stashed some old records there – some of my parents’ even. Taking the dusty box out, I took the first thing that was under my hand and put it on quickly, closing my eyes and holding my head in my hands, waiting for the first sounds to appear. It’s the most complete silence, isn’t it? - When you put on the unknown record and wait for it to start.
‘Twas Frank Sinatra. I scowled and scooted over to replace the record, but then I realized that I would rather listen to it – there was a consolation in the way it crackled and the way the warm voice filled the air. I sat back on the floor, leaning against the bed and went through the long-forgotten vinyl: Ella Fitzgerald, Billie Holiday, Ray Charles, Louis Armstrong, and the Rat Pack. I thought of my mom and dad listening to those while they were dating – the way they would steal quick kisses and dance together, the way my mom’s heels would clink while they would take walks, hand in hand.
Suddenly I was overcome with happiness. Pure, red, and foolish happiness. Yes, I was going away for a long time, and yes there were loads of rubbish in the near future, loads of jaw-clenching bollocks, but hell – I was in love. Nevermind the details, really – forget the fact he is just a yawning puppy, forget the muck of the public opinion and…well, there’s nothing around when you are in love, correct? No Oxford, London, no bloody Exeter and surely there’s no Britain, Europe, America and Asia – the whole universe goes to hell, burns in the yellow light of the sun and fire – because Jonny bloody Greenwood has gorgeous cheek bones and because Jonny bloody Greenwood blushes every time I brush them with my lips in the dim shining of the street lamps.
Five Minutes More started playing and I was suddenly pulled back on earth with the complications piling up in my head – our insecurities; my insecurities. Telling everybody to sod off had been a hobby of mine for quite a while by that time, but there was a major fight with my head now…or there should’ve been one. I heard stories about men who had to force themselves to be with women just because they could not stand the fact that they were attracted to the same sex; I guess, I imagined I would surely be such person, only to be completely shocked by my own tranquility in the whole situation – it wasn’t even a bit awkward for me to fancy Jonny.
Then I understood – I was prepared long before that. I remembered all the small thoughts that were going through my head during puberty and even before; the way I was attracted to a young male teacher – to the point when his fingers brushing mine accidentally would send electrical currents through me. Not love, of course, just pure desire with a pinch of curiosity. Then – my inability to be interested in one girl for more than a couple of months. Then – finding myself studying the men and boys who surrounded me. To be honest, I was very enticed by the strong wrists and long fingers, narrow shoulders and lithe shapes.
I guess my long-ordered desire came in one lanky package that turned out to be my best mate’s brother.
I knew what I wanted then. It’s just that I would be going away from it in about 70 hours.
Monday, December 31, 2007
Mile high
Ed hates planes.
It wouldn't be so bad if they could hire a private jet where he could have as many seats to himself as he wanted, but even the mere suggestion sets Thom off on a rant about how air travel is destroying the planet, and right now Ed is too tired and irritable to piss Thom off. It's all right for Thom, he thinks resentfully, staring across the aisle to where Thom and Colin are sitting side-by-side and exchanging snide comments about the food; Thom's small, he doesn't have to worry about cramped seats and deep vein thrombosis and whatever else someone of Ed's stature could get from being squished into a space about half the size he could comfortably occupy. It doesn't help that he's drawn the short straw of taking the chair next to Jonny. Back in the day this was never a problem: Ed sat with Colin or Phil and Thom sat with Jonny because Jonny was the only person who could keep Thom calm for an entire flight and besides, back in the day ThomandJonny were fucking like rabbits at every opportunity they got, so pairing off like that was a given. It's not like that any more, Ed thinks ruefully, watching Thom and Colin's heads, light and dark, leaning together as they flick peas at the headrest in front of them. Somewhere along the line something has happened to ThomandJonny and they aren't ThomandJonny now, they're Thom_________and_________Jonny and they're never that close any more.
Ed has never known why only someone who was fucking Jonny would want to sit next to him for eight hours on a plane, and now he's learning the hard way. Jonny is a terrible fidget. He is the kind of fidget that puts even Thom to shame. He sits there looking out of the window and shutting himself away from the rest of the world with a pair of headphones and his iPod, and every few moments he'll cross or uncross his legs or lift his arm to run a hand through his air or let out a barely audible sigh or wriggle in his seat and jab Ed sharply in the ribs with a bony elbow, and it's maddening. No wonder he stays so goddamn skinny with that much nervous energy - he's wound as tightly as a spring and Ed can practically feel the tension crackling between them. Eventually - about three hours into the flight, by his estimation - he's had enough. He taps Jonny on the shoulder. The younger man jumps, turns to face him and, frowning slightly, removes his headphones.
"What?"
There's a bite in his voice which is bitter and cold and very much unlike Jonny. Ed wonders suddenly whether he misses Thom. He's noticed it this tour; the pair of them rarely talk now unless there's someone else in the conversation and it makes speaking to either of them awkward and uncomfortable.
"Can't you sit still?" Ed says, his brain still catching up with his mouth.
Jonny regards him curiously, his expression softening little by little until he's not frowning at all. "Thom never told me I fidgeted," he says quietly, his gaze drifting to the childish, sniggering figure a few rows away from them. "I'm... sorry. I'm just tense. I hate planes."
"You and me both." Ed glances over at Thom and Colin, who seem to have abandoned pea warfare for making eyes at the stewardesses instead, and has an idea. It's a stupid, crazy, wild idea and Jonny will never in a million years go for it, but it's worth a try because they're both as bored as can be and there's hardly anyone in the seats around them except for a guy in a suit and tie two rows behind who looks like he's been stuffed. "I... we... could relieve a bit of that tension, couldn't we?"
He hopes Jonny catches his drift, and that what Thom told him once in a hotel room in New York is actually true, and when Jonny's eyes flick up to meet his he knows that Jonny understands exactly what he means. He's startled by the force of that gaze; it feels like being stripped to the bone, and the shiver that courses through him goes straight to his groin. Jonny notices, and smiles darkly, and a moment later there are slender fingers unzipping his fly and releasing his hard cock from the hot confines of his pants.
"Here?" Ed murmurs faintly, looking around. It's as good a place as any, if truth be told; the plane is very empty and there isn't a steward within twenty feet of them, except the pretty bottle-blonde talking to Thom and Colin. Any worries he might have had are pushed firmly out of his mind when Jonny ducks down and envelopes the tip of Ed's erection in the tight, slick confines of his warm mouth.
It takes all of Ed's self-control and a hasty fist pressed against his own mouth not to groan out loud. Jonny starts bobbing his head immediately in a swift, steady rhythm that will have him coming in seconds if he doesn't think about something other than what Jonny is doing to him right now... he thinks about the stuffed guy in the seat two rows behind them, about that guy and his suit and his tie, and that guy taking off his suit and his tie and... there's a flicker of dextrous tongue along the underside of his shaft and he gives an involuntary yelp which turns into a muffled whine as he tries to stop it. Thom and Colin have stopped talking to the blonde stewardess and are looking around, and Ed pretends not to notice. He's still thinking about that suit and that tie on the floor... their owner has conveniently disappeared and now it's just him and Jonny and a suit and tie on the floor... he threads fingers through silken dark hair at the same time as his cock hits the back of Jonny's throat and Jonny gasps a little, a faint huff of air that tickles his stomach.
"Are you OK?" he murmurs. Jonny says nothing, doesn't break pace or take time to draw breath, and in Ed's mind Ed has picked up the tie and is no longer thinking about its former owner, just about all the possibilities with Jonny under his control and the tie in his hand and oh shit.
He comes quickly, violently and without warning, and a cry slips out that even his hand can't disguise. It's enough to catch the attention of the bottle-blonde stewardess, and as she comes over Ed finds that he's now neatly zipped up and Jonny is sitting demurely beside him, reading the in-flight magazine.
"Is everything all right, gentlemen?" she asks, her cheeks flushing a shade darker than her blusher, and Ed realises with a thrill of horror that it must have been obvious to their three onlookers what was going on.
"Absolutely," Jonny says with a straight face, glancing up from his magazine and smiling with damp, bruised lips.
They're left well alone for the rest of the flight. Jonny doesn't fidget any more. Ed stretches out with his legs on the chair beside him and his head in Jonny's lap and entertains himself with thoughts of what they'll be able to get up to with a hotel room to themselves that evening, and whether the suit and the tie will be allowed to join in.
It wouldn't be so bad if they could hire a private jet where he could have as many seats to himself as he wanted, but even the mere suggestion sets Thom off on a rant about how air travel is destroying the planet, and right now Ed is too tired and irritable to piss Thom off. It's all right for Thom, he thinks resentfully, staring across the aisle to where Thom and Colin are sitting side-by-side and exchanging snide comments about the food; Thom's small, he doesn't have to worry about cramped seats and deep vein thrombosis and whatever else someone of Ed's stature could get from being squished into a space about half the size he could comfortably occupy. It doesn't help that he's drawn the short straw of taking the chair next to Jonny. Back in the day this was never a problem: Ed sat with Colin or Phil and Thom sat with Jonny because Jonny was the only person who could keep Thom calm for an entire flight and besides, back in the day ThomandJonny were fucking like rabbits at every opportunity they got, so pairing off like that was a given. It's not like that any more, Ed thinks ruefully, watching Thom and Colin's heads, light and dark, leaning together as they flick peas at the headrest in front of them. Somewhere along the line something has happened to ThomandJonny and they aren't ThomandJonny now, they're Thom_________and_________Jonny and they're never that close any more.
Ed has never known why only someone who was fucking Jonny would want to sit next to him for eight hours on a plane, and now he's learning the hard way. Jonny is a terrible fidget. He is the kind of fidget that puts even Thom to shame. He sits there looking out of the window and shutting himself away from the rest of the world with a pair of headphones and his iPod, and every few moments he'll cross or uncross his legs or lift his arm to run a hand through his air or let out a barely audible sigh or wriggle in his seat and jab Ed sharply in the ribs with a bony elbow, and it's maddening. No wonder he stays so goddamn skinny with that much nervous energy - he's wound as tightly as a spring and Ed can practically feel the tension crackling between them. Eventually - about three hours into the flight, by his estimation - he's had enough. He taps Jonny on the shoulder. The younger man jumps, turns to face him and, frowning slightly, removes his headphones.
"What?"
There's a bite in his voice which is bitter and cold and very much unlike Jonny. Ed wonders suddenly whether he misses Thom. He's noticed it this tour; the pair of them rarely talk now unless there's someone else in the conversation and it makes speaking to either of them awkward and uncomfortable.
"Can't you sit still?" Ed says, his brain still catching up with his mouth.
Jonny regards him curiously, his expression softening little by little until he's not frowning at all. "Thom never told me I fidgeted," he says quietly, his gaze drifting to the childish, sniggering figure a few rows away from them. "I'm... sorry. I'm just tense. I hate planes."
"You and me both." Ed glances over at Thom and Colin, who seem to have abandoned pea warfare for making eyes at the stewardesses instead, and has an idea. It's a stupid, crazy, wild idea and Jonny will never in a million years go for it, but it's worth a try because they're both as bored as can be and there's hardly anyone in the seats around them except for a guy in a suit and tie two rows behind who looks like he's been stuffed. "I... we... could relieve a bit of that tension, couldn't we?"
He hopes Jonny catches his drift, and that what Thom told him once in a hotel room in New York is actually true, and when Jonny's eyes flick up to meet his he knows that Jonny understands exactly what he means. He's startled by the force of that gaze; it feels like being stripped to the bone, and the shiver that courses through him goes straight to his groin. Jonny notices, and smiles darkly, and a moment later there are slender fingers unzipping his fly and releasing his hard cock from the hot confines of his pants.
"Here?" Ed murmurs faintly, looking around. It's as good a place as any, if truth be told; the plane is very empty and there isn't a steward within twenty feet of them, except the pretty bottle-blonde talking to Thom and Colin. Any worries he might have had are pushed firmly out of his mind when Jonny ducks down and envelopes the tip of Ed's erection in the tight, slick confines of his warm mouth.
It takes all of Ed's self-control and a hasty fist pressed against his own mouth not to groan out loud. Jonny starts bobbing his head immediately in a swift, steady rhythm that will have him coming in seconds if he doesn't think about something other than what Jonny is doing to him right now... he thinks about the stuffed guy in the seat two rows behind them, about that guy and his suit and his tie, and that guy taking off his suit and his tie and... there's a flicker of dextrous tongue along the underside of his shaft and he gives an involuntary yelp which turns into a muffled whine as he tries to stop it. Thom and Colin have stopped talking to the blonde stewardess and are looking around, and Ed pretends not to notice. He's still thinking about that suit and that tie on the floor... their owner has conveniently disappeared and now it's just him and Jonny and a suit and tie on the floor... he threads fingers through silken dark hair at the same time as his cock hits the back of Jonny's throat and Jonny gasps a little, a faint huff of air that tickles his stomach.
"Are you OK?" he murmurs. Jonny says nothing, doesn't break pace or take time to draw breath, and in Ed's mind Ed has picked up the tie and is no longer thinking about its former owner, just about all the possibilities with Jonny under his control and the tie in his hand and oh shit.
He comes quickly, violently and without warning, and a cry slips out that even his hand can't disguise. It's enough to catch the attention of the bottle-blonde stewardess, and as she comes over Ed finds that he's now neatly zipped up and Jonny is sitting demurely beside him, reading the in-flight magazine.
"Is everything all right, gentlemen?" she asks, her cheeks flushing a shade darker than her blusher, and Ed realises with a thrill of horror that it must have been obvious to their three onlookers what was going on.
"Absolutely," Jonny says with a straight face, glancing up from his magazine and smiling with damp, bruised lips.
They're left well alone for the rest of the flight. Jonny doesn't fidget any more. Ed stretches out with his legs on the chair beside him and his head in Jonny's lap and entertains himself with thoughts of what they'll be able to get up to with a hotel room to themselves that evening, and whether the suit and the tie will be allowed to join in.
Breaking Down
After searching for more than two hours, getting more and more anxious each minute, he found him. Hunched in the corner of the dark store room.
“I’m sorry.” The words barely came out.
“Don’t be. I was just a little worried.”
“No, I’m sorry. I heard you running up and down the stairs and I knew you were searching for me. I wanted to call you, but... I just didn’t have the energy.” The last part was more of a sigh.
Jonny felt like he was towering above him, so he kneeled down, more or less face to face with him.
“It’s ok.”
All was silent for a few moments. Then Jonny got up and closed the door, leaving the two of them in pitch dark.
“Thank you.”
Jonny didn’t know if it was for shutting the door or for just being here. So he went over and positioned himself crossed-legs in front of Thom and remained silent.
After a long pause, Thom spoke again.
“They aren’t working anymore.”
“Your pills?”
“He promised they would work. I knew I shouldn’t have trusted him. Fucking American doctors. I want Jennings back.”
“Just a few more weeks, Thom, you can do it.”
At these words, Thom took a shaky breath. With a raw voice, but the same even expressionless tone, he continued.
“You see, Jonny, that’s the point. I can’t. I really can’t. My mind poisoned my body and now it gave up. There’s nothing I can do anymore. It’s over. If I wanted to get up now, I couldn’t. Not that I’d want to. I can’t even cry anymore, Jon.”
At times like these, Jonny wished that he had finished his psychology degree. Chapter six, paragraph two. How to cheer up a person that has given up on all levels. What he hated the most, was the feeling of complete helplessness. The one person he loved the most was breaking down and he just couldn’t do anything right. He was useless.
“I’ve been pushing you away, haven’t I,” Thom said.
Great, Jonny thought, on top of all misery I’ve made him feel guilty.
“Thom, please don’t worry about me, you haven’t done anything wrong. Don’t concentrate on what you’re doing or not doing, just try to give your mind some rest. I think that’s what it needs the most right now. Just try not to think at all.”
He moved to sit next to Thom against the wall and threw an arm around his neck, and Thom put his head on his shoulder.
“Not to think at all,” Thom repeated faintly.
They stared into the darkness for the next few minutes, before Thom broke the silence again, this time a little more determined.
“I’m going to tell you something I normally wouldn’t, but I feel like it’s the only way now. I can’t possibly do what you tell me to, put my mind to rest, unless it’s out. I don’t care if it changes everything, I don’t even care what your reaction is anymore, I just want some rest. I’m so tired.”
Jonny didn’t say anything, afraid to say something that would put Thom’s mind off of telling him. The thing he really wanted to do was take him away, away from it all, shield him from whatever was making him suffer. But he just repositioned his arm around him and took Thom’s slack hand in his, playing with his pinky.
Thom took a deep breath, and Jonny just had time to think that maybe this was more serious than he expected before it was out.
Had he really said it? The sounds were still echoing in the room. He had to be sure.
“Can you... say that again?” He tried to make his voice sound as apologising as he could.
“I’m in love with you.”
Jonny’s heart stopped. As much joy this should have given him, the only thought that was racing through his mind was: ‘It was me, I was the one that made him like this, it was me he was thinking about all along. It’s my fault. It’s my fault.’
“Oh Thom,” he managed to squeeze out of his throat before wrapping both arms around Thom, holding him tightly against his chest. Thom took his arm from under Jonny’s grip and circled his waist. They sat like that for a moment.
“It’s quite disturbing, really. In love with a boy, my best friend, my bandmate... I’m sorry, I still think of you as a boy.”
Jonny let out a choked laugh, which gave away that he was crying.
“I’m sorry, I’m such a wuss,” he apologised, wiping away his tears.
“Why are you crying?” Thom asked.
“It’s nothing.”
“No, tell me.”
“It’s just that I’m so sorry for doing this to you. I really am,” he answered.
Thom was silent for a moment. Apparently he hadn’t expected this reaction.
“Do you really not care at all about my reaction?” Jonny asked.
“Of course I care, it’s just that you can’t disappoint me anymore. I’m too far gone for that. So just tell me how it is.” Thom sighed and sat back up again, hugging his knees.
“Ok, I’ll tell you how it is. I know how you feel. Better than you think. In love with a boy. Best friend, bandmate. I know. I know because I love you, Thomas. I’m in love with you. So please don’t be miserable over me. Just love me back, that’s all I’m asking.”
Thom fell silent again. He didn’t speak for at least a minute. Jonny barely heard him breathing.
With a soft, uncertain voice, he finally turned to Jonny again.
“I don’t know what to do, Jonny. I don’t know what I should do. This is not good. Nobody can ever find out. It would’ve been better if you didn’t have feelings for me at all.”
Jonny was taken aback by this.
“What...” he sputtered, “you can’t... how... you’re not just going to ignore this, are you?”
“Jonny, please don’t be mad,” Thom said. He sounded exhausted.
“I’m not mad, I just...” Jonny changed his mind. “Look, let’s not talk about this right now. You’re tired, you need sleep. Just don’t think about anything right now and sleep.”
He pulled Thom’s limp form in his lap and cradled him in his arms. Thom didn’t even respond anymore and just rested his head on Jonny’s chest, the warmth of breath going through Jonny’s T-shirt.
Just when Jonny thought he had fallen asleep, a faint voice filled his ears.
“Jonny?” Thom sounded at his most fragile.
“Yes, Thom?”
“Can I kiss you?”
Jonny considered this.
“Do you have the energy for it?”
“I’m willing to try,” Thom added, smiling.
He put his hand behind Jonny’s neck and pulled him down slowly. His hand travelled along his stubbly jaw until it rested right next to his mouth.
Jonny could feel the faintest of sensation of lips touching his and shivered. He pressed down more and felt Thom reciprocating. The latter pulled back and murmured “Have I told you how much I love your lips? Especially this one.” He pushed himself up and captured Jonny’s lower lip between his. Whilst sucking he slowly ran his tongue over it and Jonny couldn’t hold back anymore. Their kiss was a deep kiss, slow and long, both savouring this moment of honesty after a long time of denial and hidden want. When it ended, they both felt it was enough for now. Thom put his arms around Jonny’s waist and fell asleep within minutes, this time with a soft smile on his lips.
“I’m sorry.” The words barely came out.
“Don’t be. I was just a little worried.”
“No, I’m sorry. I heard you running up and down the stairs and I knew you were searching for me. I wanted to call you, but... I just didn’t have the energy.” The last part was more of a sigh.
Jonny felt like he was towering above him, so he kneeled down, more or less face to face with him.
“It’s ok.”
All was silent for a few moments. Then Jonny got up and closed the door, leaving the two of them in pitch dark.
“Thank you.”
Jonny didn’t know if it was for shutting the door or for just being here. So he went over and positioned himself crossed-legs in front of Thom and remained silent.
After a long pause, Thom spoke again.
“They aren’t working anymore.”
“Your pills?”
“He promised they would work. I knew I shouldn’t have trusted him. Fucking American doctors. I want Jennings back.”
“Just a few more weeks, Thom, you can do it.”
At these words, Thom took a shaky breath. With a raw voice, but the same even expressionless tone, he continued.
“You see, Jonny, that’s the point. I can’t. I really can’t. My mind poisoned my body and now it gave up. There’s nothing I can do anymore. It’s over. If I wanted to get up now, I couldn’t. Not that I’d want to. I can’t even cry anymore, Jon.”
At times like these, Jonny wished that he had finished his psychology degree. Chapter six, paragraph two. How to cheer up a person that has given up on all levels. What he hated the most, was the feeling of complete helplessness. The one person he loved the most was breaking down and he just couldn’t do anything right. He was useless.
“I’ve been pushing you away, haven’t I,” Thom said.
Great, Jonny thought, on top of all misery I’ve made him feel guilty.
“Thom, please don’t worry about me, you haven’t done anything wrong. Don’t concentrate on what you’re doing or not doing, just try to give your mind some rest. I think that’s what it needs the most right now. Just try not to think at all.”
He moved to sit next to Thom against the wall and threw an arm around his neck, and Thom put his head on his shoulder.
“Not to think at all,” Thom repeated faintly.
They stared into the darkness for the next few minutes, before Thom broke the silence again, this time a little more determined.
“I’m going to tell you something I normally wouldn’t, but I feel like it’s the only way now. I can’t possibly do what you tell me to, put my mind to rest, unless it’s out. I don’t care if it changes everything, I don’t even care what your reaction is anymore, I just want some rest. I’m so tired.”
Jonny didn’t say anything, afraid to say something that would put Thom’s mind off of telling him. The thing he really wanted to do was take him away, away from it all, shield him from whatever was making him suffer. But he just repositioned his arm around him and took Thom’s slack hand in his, playing with his pinky.
Thom took a deep breath, and Jonny just had time to think that maybe this was more serious than he expected before it was out.
Had he really said it? The sounds were still echoing in the room. He had to be sure.
“Can you... say that again?” He tried to make his voice sound as apologising as he could.
“I’m in love with you.”
Jonny’s heart stopped. As much joy this should have given him, the only thought that was racing through his mind was: ‘It was me, I was the one that made him like this, it was me he was thinking about all along. It’s my fault. It’s my fault.’
“Oh Thom,” he managed to squeeze out of his throat before wrapping both arms around Thom, holding him tightly against his chest. Thom took his arm from under Jonny’s grip and circled his waist. They sat like that for a moment.
“It’s quite disturbing, really. In love with a boy, my best friend, my bandmate... I’m sorry, I still think of you as a boy.”
Jonny let out a choked laugh, which gave away that he was crying.
“I’m sorry, I’m such a wuss,” he apologised, wiping away his tears.
“Why are you crying?” Thom asked.
“It’s nothing.”
“No, tell me.”
“It’s just that I’m so sorry for doing this to you. I really am,” he answered.
Thom was silent for a moment. Apparently he hadn’t expected this reaction.
“Do you really not care at all about my reaction?” Jonny asked.
“Of course I care, it’s just that you can’t disappoint me anymore. I’m too far gone for that. So just tell me how it is.” Thom sighed and sat back up again, hugging his knees.
“Ok, I’ll tell you how it is. I know how you feel. Better than you think. In love with a boy. Best friend, bandmate. I know. I know because I love you, Thomas. I’m in love with you. So please don’t be miserable over me. Just love me back, that’s all I’m asking.”
Thom fell silent again. He didn’t speak for at least a minute. Jonny barely heard him breathing.
With a soft, uncertain voice, he finally turned to Jonny again.
“I don’t know what to do, Jonny. I don’t know what I should do. This is not good. Nobody can ever find out. It would’ve been better if you didn’t have feelings for me at all.”
Jonny was taken aback by this.
“What...” he sputtered, “you can’t... how... you’re not just going to ignore this, are you?”
“Jonny, please don’t be mad,” Thom said. He sounded exhausted.
“I’m not mad, I just...” Jonny changed his mind. “Look, let’s not talk about this right now. You’re tired, you need sleep. Just don’t think about anything right now and sleep.”
He pulled Thom’s limp form in his lap and cradled him in his arms. Thom didn’t even respond anymore and just rested his head on Jonny’s chest, the warmth of breath going through Jonny’s T-shirt.
Just when Jonny thought he had fallen asleep, a faint voice filled his ears.
“Jonny?” Thom sounded at his most fragile.
“Yes, Thom?”
“Can I kiss you?”
Jonny considered this.
“Do you have the energy for it?”
“I’m willing to try,” Thom added, smiling.
He put his hand behind Jonny’s neck and pulled him down slowly. His hand travelled along his stubbly jaw until it rested right next to his mouth.
Jonny could feel the faintest of sensation of lips touching his and shivered. He pressed down more and felt Thom reciprocating. The latter pulled back and murmured “Have I told you how much I love your lips? Especially this one.” He pushed himself up and captured Jonny’s lower lip between his. Whilst sucking he slowly ran his tongue over it and Jonny couldn’t hold back anymore. Their kiss was a deep kiss, slow and long, both savouring this moment of honesty after a long time of denial and hidden want. When it ended, they both felt it was enough for now. Thom put his arms around Jonny’s waist and fell asleep within minutes, this time with a soft smile on his lips.
Subway, pt 1-5
Part One
“What is it?”
“You’ll see...” Thom grinned from ear to ear.
“Oh don’t be ridiculous, Thom, just give it already.”
“A-ah, not yet.” He was moving the package before Jonny’s eyes, before holding it behind his back again.
“Fine, then don’t. I’m not gonna crawl, if that’s what you’re waiting for.” He turned around and made an attempt to cross the street. A yellow taxi appeared out of nowhere, nearly bumping into him. Thom hastily grabbed Jon’s shirt and pulled him back onto the pavement.
“Jesus, Jonny, it’s just a stupid present, it’s not worth risking your fucking life for!” he breathed, clearly relieved.
“Well, if you don’t give it to me now, I think I might jump under the next truck crossing my view,” came the reply.
“Fine, fine. Close your eyes.”
“Oh come on, Thom, I’m not a kid an...”
“Close the fucking eyes, Jon.”
Jonny complied, a little annoyed but smiling anyway.
There was a rustle of plastic and a soft “oh noo!” shortly after.
Jonny lifted an eyebrow but decided to keep his eyes closed. A hand grabbed his wrist and pulled his arm out. He stretched his hand and a few moments later something warm and light and round landed on his palm.
“Wait, I’ve got a better idea,” came Thom’s voice.
The thing was removed from his hand and he felt something running past his lips instead.
“Open up, Jon-Jon,” Thom teased.
Jonny parted his lips and a sweet, familiar taste entered his mouth. He took a bite and moaned.
“You can open your eyes now.”
Jonny did and blinked a few times against the bright sunshine. Before him stood Thom, chewing happily, chocolate smeared all over his lips. He couldn’t help but giggle at the sight. “They’re a little messed up ‘cause the chocolate melted. Bloody hot weather,” Thom mumbled. “Well, do you like ‘em?”
“Seriously, I haven’t eaten those in six months, if not more! That’s so sweet of you.” Jonny smiled and hugged Thom tightly, taking the pack of Jaffa cakes from his hands as he withdrew and immediately stuffing the next one in his mouth.
“A hug. That’s all I get, a hug?”
“The things I’m thinking of to reward you are not quite appropriate, considering we’re on the street in the middle of New York,” Jonny whispered, quickly tracing Thom’s waistband with a finger, “...and I’m already having a hard time restraining myself from licking aaall that chocolate from your lips,” he added.
A self-conscious Thom quickly ran his tongue past his lips.
“Well, make sure you remember what you just said when I’m all alone in that big hotel room next to yours tonight,” he whispered back seductively.
“I’ll consider it... but right now we really need to get going, or the hotel room will turn into an emergency room after being beaten up by Ed. If we’re late again, he might just lose it.”
Together they made their way through the hustle and bustle of New York, trying to find the nearest subway station. The Radio City Music Hall was a half an hour ride, which was very long, considering it was an unbelievably hot summer’s day and the subway tunnels were once again suffering from an abundance of people and a lack of oxygen.
Their subway was already crowded. Jonny got in first and instinctively worked his way to the back. Thom had a little difficulty making his way through because of his thin frame. Just when he thought he’d never make it in before the doors closed, a strong arm appeared out of nowhere and pulled him through. They reached a spot, just big enough for both of them, and Thom exhaled in relief.
Unfortunately, there were already more people getting in, so they were more or less pressed against each other’s sweaty bodies.
Part Two
Jonny spotted a boy with large sunglasses a few feet away, also pressed against the back of the subway. Though he couldn’t see his eyes, Jonny had felt them upon him from the moment they got in. Brown curls were clinging wet against his cheeks and his muscular arms were holding the pole before him. His red lips were slightly parted in a pout, as if he had difficulty breathing. Jonny couldn’t help but feel entranced by the boy’s presence and grew a little self-conscious with the subtle attention he was getting.
Thom noticed this too, and he felt a sting of jealousy piercing through his chest. Jonny and him had gotten so close the last few weeks, their bond was stronger than ever. Always travelling together, just the two of them. If only they had known earlier touring could be as nice as it was like this. There had been nights, both drunk in their hotel room, watching silly things on tv, talking and laughing, both knowing they were moving closer and closer on Jonny’s bed.
Last night had been one of those nights. Somehow, Thom had ended up sitting in between Jonny’s legs, feeding him peanuts and making him drink from Thom’s bottle of beer, which Jonny obviously got spilled all over his stomach. Thom had boldly lifted Jon’s T-shirt and had licked all of the spilt liquid from his belly. Jonny, surprised but immediately turned on, had only gasped in obvious approval. Thom had proceeded to take off Jonny’s tee and, kissing and licking, had worked his way up to his neck and, at last, his lips.
The boy quickly averted his eyes when he spotted Thom looking in his direction. Feeling a sense of power over the situation, the latter turned his head towards Jonny and lay a meaningful hand on his hip. Jonny, who had been following the eyeing, understood the messages that had come across. He smiled inwardly and ran a hand through his raven hair, knowing all too well what he was provoking with the two men.
The subway stopped and the already crowded hallway was now being flooded with new passengers. Jonny sighed and pointed at the door. “God, there are like 40 people wanting to get in. As if they don’t realise there is one every five minutes.” Thom turned around and at that moment, about fifteen Italian teenagers pushed their way in, engrossed in their heated discussion, pressing into the now protesting crowd. There was a bit of a row, with the Italian tourists yelling and pushing more. A few people nearly lost their balance, including Thom. He fell back against Jonny and was blocked by the people before him. Jonny gasped as Thom’s body made contact with his, Thom’s full length pressed against him. He closed his eyes and murmured: “As if we weren’t sweating enough...” He took a deep breath that tightened his T-shirt around his chest, showing a protruding ribcage, pushing Thom forward a little. Thom emitted a soft sound, which Jonny couldn’t quite define. An annoyed grumbling? A sigh? A moan?
Jonny glanced in the direction of the brown haired boy. His glasses weren’t fully turned in their direction, but Jonny could see his dark eyes through the shades. He was definitely watching them. Jonny had to admit he was more than a little turned on by the situation.
Seeing Jonny looking back at him, the boy shifted a little. Thom’s head snapped towards the movement. This was clear evidence that he’d been watching him closely and Jonny didn’t hesitate anymore. He lowered his head towards Thom’s ear, brushing his cheek against the spiky hair.
“What’s the matter, Thom?” he whispered.
“Getting a little jealous, are we?”
Thom snorted.
“Jealous? Me? How old is he, 26? He’s at least three years younger than you,” he hissed. “Well, Thom, for the record, I'm three years younger than you. But that doesn’t seem to be stopping you, is it?” he breathed, brushing his lips past Thom’s ear. “You have to admit he’s a cutie.”
Thom felt Jonny’s arousal pressing into his back through both their jeans. He himself was glad the man before him was wearing a large backpack.
Part Three
Suddenly everyone around them grew quiet. The lights had gone out and the metro was slowing down. One last shriek of the breaks and it stopped completely. In the middle of a tunnel. Apparently even the emergency lights didn’t work, because it was pitch dark.
There was a moment of dead silence, before one of the Italian girls started screaming like mad. Within a few seconds the small space was filled with noise. People were shouting and whining and pushing and arguing and words like ‘power cut’, ‘terrorists’ and ‘we’re all gonna die’ were heard more than once. The Italian girl had started hyperventilating and her friends had the hardest time making her breathe into the plastic bag, lighting the scene with their cell phones.
Thom and Jonny were still in the corner, Thom pressed against Jonny, Jonny pressed against the wall.
“You alright, Thom?”
“Yeah, fine. Just bloody hot, that’s all.”
“Well, you most definitely are,” Jonny whispered and slid his hands under Thom’s T-shirt.
He scratched Thom’s belly with his fingernails, which made the latter moan softly.
Thom threw his head back so that it rested in the crook of Jon’s neck.
“I feel like a blind man, with those sunglasses still on.”
“I can just feel my other senses working overtime,” Jonny replied.
“My hearing,” he breathed in Thom’s ear, “my smell,” tracing his nose along his cheek, inhaling deeply, “my touch,” his fingers playing with the waistband, “my... taste...” and at last, Jonny placed his full hot lips against Thom’s throat, silently and delicately kissing and licking his way upwards, until their lips met.
The sensation was indescribable. The noise around them seemed to fade into the background as Thom flicked his tongue past Jonny’s lips, after which Jon welcomed it with his. It was a long, very slow, almost sloppy kiss. The kind of kiss during which you’re already memorising every tiny detail like mad, for fear of eventually forgetting. And they both were enjoying it until the last bit.
When Thom eventually pulled back, a soft protesting moan escaped from Jonny’s lips. Thom started shifting in Jonny’s arms, clearly annoyed with the situation.
“What’s wrong, Thom?” Jonny asked.
“It’s – just – argh...” he mumbled, while trying to turn around.
He reluctantly gave up after a few seconds.
“Well, then we’ll just have to try it this way,”he said, and put his arm behind his back. In one swift motion, he let his hand slip into Jonny’s pants and started stroking him.
“Wait, what are you... jesus, Thom!” he managed to utter breathlessly.
Thom’s other hand joined in and together they opened the fly for better acces.
“Thom, no... what are you – God... Thom, we’re in the fucking subway – ungh... stop it!” Jonny hissed.
“Do you really want me to?” Thom teased and brushed his cheek against Jonny’s chest.
“Yes! I mean... no, but...”
“Well, that’s settled then,” came the reply as Thom increased his pace.
Jonny started panting and choking. Thom could tell he was trying to stay as quiet as possible, though the heated discussions and whining voices of the people surrounding them drowned every sound. Jonny’s hands were in Thoms hair, then his neck, then they were on his back, under his T-shirt. Thom felt him losing control.
Suddenly he remembered the brown haired boy again. He looked in his direction but couldn’t see a thing due to the darkness surrounding them.
“Oh Jonny, remember cutieboy?”
Jonny was breathing hard in his ear, almost there. He could only utter a soft moan, but Thom felt his head turning to the left. At that very moment, they both saw the light of a cell phone reflecting twice from what had to be sunglasses. They were turned straight towards them both.
The thought of the boy looking at them, knowing exactly what they were desperately trying to hide, together with Thom’s hand, guiding him towards release in a fucking subway – it was all Jonny needed to put him over the edge.
Part Four
Rumours were going around the metro that they would be stuck for at least half an hour. It was getting hotter and hotter and everyone was sticky and sweaty and gasping for breath, fanning themselves with whatever they could find. There was some commotion at the right and a few moments later they heard a loud bang and the sound of glass breaking.
“Sounds like someone broke a window,” Thom said casually. Jonny, who was only just managing to get his heartbeat to a normal rate, hummed in agreement. And indeed, a moment later a sweep of more or less fresh air moved through the crammed space and sighs of relief were heard everywhere. Suddenly, all cell phones were pointing at one guy trying to climb out of the hole in the window.
“It’s crazy what people do when they’re panicking,” Thom commented.
“Still ok yourself?” Jonny asked.
“Hm,” Thom considered, “maybe. But I could be a lot better.” He put his arm around Jonny’s neck behind him and pulled his head down to whisper in his ear.
“I’m still horny as fuck, Jonjon,” he hissed. Jonny grinned.
“Is that so, Thom?” he whispered back whilst moving his hands from Thom’s belly down to his groin, slowly exploring the tight trousers and then gently massaging the straining erection that was about to burst through the zipper.
“Oh, you are,” he concluded. Thom, who was breathing hard and whimpering, captured Jonny’s earlobe between his teeth and sucked hard.
“So –ungh- what are you going to do about that?” he hummed in Jonny’s ear.
“Gee, I don’t know, Thomas, what do you want me to do?” Thom reached around and found Jonny already aroused again. He squeezed hard, hissed “fuck me, Jonathan” and quickly flicked his tongue in his ear.
Jonny, a little taken aback though hard beyond belief, hesitated.
“What? Right here?”
“Right here.”
“We can’t- you just got me off in the subway, don’t you think that’s...”
“I think we can do a lot more in the subway,” came Thom’s final reply.
He unzipped his jeans and reached around to open Jonny’s again.
“Thom, are you sure?” Jonny was still hesitating.
“Don’t be a chicken, Jonny, I can feel you wanting it.”
“I’m not a chicken,” Jonny said, pouting.
“Then do me. Now.”
Part Five
Thom pulled Jonny’s cock out and started stroking again. It wasn’t long before Jonny slapped his hand away and shoved Thom’s jeans and boxers down over his hips in one movement. Never in his life had Thom been more aroused by anticipation alone. And the feeling was mutual, because before long Jonny had his cock slick with saliva and teasing Thom’s opening.
“How bad do you want it, Thom?” he whispered. “Do you even care about people finding out what we’re doing at this very moment?”
Thom could barely answer. “The thought alone makes me come, Jonny. Fucking do it already.”
Jonny obeyed and slowly pushed himself in, pulling Thom’s hips towards him. Thom let out a deep sigh and arched his back. Once inside, he put his lips to Thom’s neck, sucking hard. “How’s that feel, Thommy?”
“Fucking amazing,” Thom breathed. So Jonny eased himself out and started a slow, agonizing rhythm, each time pushing and pulling at Thom’s hips so as not to shove him into the backpack in front of him. The moment seemed so unbelievably surreal to Jonny. Stuck with Thom in a pitch dark subway, fucking him while no one around them even knows... Thom, meanwhile, had opened his legs as far as they could go with his trousers still on and people surrounding them. He was trying his utmost not to whimper and his lower lip was already bleeding from biting it.
Suddenly the train car shuddered. Women shrieked and people tried to grab a pole to keep from falling. It didn’t take long before another bump was felt throughout the metro. The movements were driving Jonny further into Thom, practically impaling the latter on his cock. They both moaned aloud at the same time, but luckily the sounds were drowned in the noise of everyone else’s surprised shouts.
Slowly, the subway started to continue his way forward and panic rushed through Jonny. Soon the lights would go on and everyone would know what they were doing. Before he could properly think it over, Thom urged him to go faster. He started pushing himself back to Jonny, murmuring “come on, come on, faster, faster, not much time left” and stroking himself. Jonny was increasing his pace, biting and licking Thom’s neck and trying as hard as he could not to move too much. He felt the climax building and Thom was obviously getting there as well. He had started to shudder and Jonny felt his muscles clenching around his cock. Thom threw his head back against Jonny’s chest and the latter immediately covered his mouth with his own just in time. Thom came hard in his own hand and his moan was muffled by Jonny’s lips. With a few more thrusts Jonny was there as well. He pushed a last time into Thom, hard, and – the lights went on.
Jonny saw the change in light through his squeezed shut eyelids and opened them with a jolt. Thom had managed to zip up in a hurry, but it was too late for him to even pull out before Thom’s cell phone rang.
Before that, nobody had been paying attention to their corner, blinded by the sudden light, but now a few heads were turning in the direction of the cell phone tune. Jonny immediately composed himself, pulling his T-shirt down and leaning back so he wasn’t glued against Thom’s back, but he was still inside Thom, hips pressed together, and had no idea how to pull out and zip up without people noticing.
Thom, meanwhile, had picked up the phone. “Ed? We’re on our... yes, I know... Ed, let me – yes I know... it’s not our fault! The subway – no! Ed, don’t make me bloody yell at you in a subway, dammit!” he hissed. As if that was the worst thing one could do in a subway, Jonny thought, his cock still inside. Thom just continued talking to Ed as if it were the most normal thing in the world. The subway was slowing down now and they were nearing the next stop. Everyone’s attention was drawn to the opposite doors, so Jonny figured it was safe to compose himself properly.
Everyone’s attention – except for one boy with brown curls and sunglasses. Jonny had forgotten about him completely in the course of events (who wouldn’t have?) but apparently he hadn’t forgotten about them. Upon seeing Jonny looking at him he quickly turned his head to some point a bit farther away. He totally knew what they had been doing. Strangely enough, Jonny didn’t mind at all. He found it rather amusing and wondered what the boy would be thinking right now. He slowly pulled out of Thom, who turned his whimper into a cough. When he was about to pull up his boxers, Thom reached around with his free hand and gave the sensitive skin a quick stroke. Jonny couldn’t help but shudder at the sensation and returned the favour by putting his right hand under Thom’s T-shirt and pinching his nipple. He zipped up just in time before the metro stopped completely and Thom, who had apparently ended his conversation, took his hand and led him towards the exit.
When they were almost outside, Jonny felt a hand circling his wrist and looked around, stopping in his tracks. Thom, who hadn’t seen it, kept walking a few more steps before turning around. He saw Jonny talking to the brown-haired beauty and before jealousy could manifest entirely, he noticed just how good they would look together. And he meant together.
“What is it?”
“You’ll see...” Thom grinned from ear to ear.
“Oh don’t be ridiculous, Thom, just give it already.”
“A-ah, not yet.” He was moving the package before Jonny’s eyes, before holding it behind his back again.
“Fine, then don’t. I’m not gonna crawl, if that’s what you’re waiting for.” He turned around and made an attempt to cross the street. A yellow taxi appeared out of nowhere, nearly bumping into him. Thom hastily grabbed Jon’s shirt and pulled him back onto the pavement.
“Jesus, Jonny, it’s just a stupid present, it’s not worth risking your fucking life for!” he breathed, clearly relieved.
“Well, if you don’t give it to me now, I think I might jump under the next truck crossing my view,” came the reply.
“Fine, fine. Close your eyes.”
“Oh come on, Thom, I’m not a kid an...”
“Close the fucking eyes, Jon.”
Jonny complied, a little annoyed but smiling anyway.
There was a rustle of plastic and a soft “oh noo!” shortly after.
Jonny lifted an eyebrow but decided to keep his eyes closed. A hand grabbed his wrist and pulled his arm out. He stretched his hand and a few moments later something warm and light and round landed on his palm.
“Wait, I’ve got a better idea,” came Thom’s voice.
The thing was removed from his hand and he felt something running past his lips instead.
“Open up, Jon-Jon,” Thom teased.
Jonny parted his lips and a sweet, familiar taste entered his mouth. He took a bite and moaned.
“You can open your eyes now.”
Jonny did and blinked a few times against the bright sunshine. Before him stood Thom, chewing happily, chocolate smeared all over his lips. He couldn’t help but giggle at the sight. “They’re a little messed up ‘cause the chocolate melted. Bloody hot weather,” Thom mumbled. “Well, do you like ‘em?”
“Seriously, I haven’t eaten those in six months, if not more! That’s so sweet of you.” Jonny smiled and hugged Thom tightly, taking the pack of Jaffa cakes from his hands as he withdrew and immediately stuffing the next one in his mouth.
“A hug. That’s all I get, a hug?”
“The things I’m thinking of to reward you are not quite appropriate, considering we’re on the street in the middle of New York,” Jonny whispered, quickly tracing Thom’s waistband with a finger, “...and I’m already having a hard time restraining myself from licking aaall that chocolate from your lips,” he added.
A self-conscious Thom quickly ran his tongue past his lips.
“Well, make sure you remember what you just said when I’m all alone in that big hotel room next to yours tonight,” he whispered back seductively.
“I’ll consider it... but right now we really need to get going, or the hotel room will turn into an emergency room after being beaten up by Ed. If we’re late again, he might just lose it.”
Together they made their way through the hustle and bustle of New York, trying to find the nearest subway station. The Radio City Music Hall was a half an hour ride, which was very long, considering it was an unbelievably hot summer’s day and the subway tunnels were once again suffering from an abundance of people and a lack of oxygen.
Their subway was already crowded. Jonny got in first and instinctively worked his way to the back. Thom had a little difficulty making his way through because of his thin frame. Just when he thought he’d never make it in before the doors closed, a strong arm appeared out of nowhere and pulled him through. They reached a spot, just big enough for both of them, and Thom exhaled in relief.
Unfortunately, there were already more people getting in, so they were more or less pressed against each other’s sweaty bodies.
Part Two
Jonny spotted a boy with large sunglasses a few feet away, also pressed against the back of the subway. Though he couldn’t see his eyes, Jonny had felt them upon him from the moment they got in. Brown curls were clinging wet against his cheeks and his muscular arms were holding the pole before him. His red lips were slightly parted in a pout, as if he had difficulty breathing. Jonny couldn’t help but feel entranced by the boy’s presence and grew a little self-conscious with the subtle attention he was getting.
Thom noticed this too, and he felt a sting of jealousy piercing through his chest. Jonny and him had gotten so close the last few weeks, their bond was stronger than ever. Always travelling together, just the two of them. If only they had known earlier touring could be as nice as it was like this. There had been nights, both drunk in their hotel room, watching silly things on tv, talking and laughing, both knowing they were moving closer and closer on Jonny’s bed.
Last night had been one of those nights. Somehow, Thom had ended up sitting in between Jonny’s legs, feeding him peanuts and making him drink from Thom’s bottle of beer, which Jonny obviously got spilled all over his stomach. Thom had boldly lifted Jon’s T-shirt and had licked all of the spilt liquid from his belly. Jonny, surprised but immediately turned on, had only gasped in obvious approval. Thom had proceeded to take off Jonny’s tee and, kissing and licking, had worked his way up to his neck and, at last, his lips.
The boy quickly averted his eyes when he spotted Thom looking in his direction. Feeling a sense of power over the situation, the latter turned his head towards Jonny and lay a meaningful hand on his hip. Jonny, who had been following the eyeing, understood the messages that had come across. He smiled inwardly and ran a hand through his raven hair, knowing all too well what he was provoking with the two men.
The subway stopped and the already crowded hallway was now being flooded with new passengers. Jonny sighed and pointed at the door. “God, there are like 40 people wanting to get in. As if they don’t realise there is one every five minutes.” Thom turned around and at that moment, about fifteen Italian teenagers pushed their way in, engrossed in their heated discussion, pressing into the now protesting crowd. There was a bit of a row, with the Italian tourists yelling and pushing more. A few people nearly lost their balance, including Thom. He fell back against Jonny and was blocked by the people before him. Jonny gasped as Thom’s body made contact with his, Thom’s full length pressed against him. He closed his eyes and murmured: “As if we weren’t sweating enough...” He took a deep breath that tightened his T-shirt around his chest, showing a protruding ribcage, pushing Thom forward a little. Thom emitted a soft sound, which Jonny couldn’t quite define. An annoyed grumbling? A sigh? A moan?
Jonny glanced in the direction of the brown haired boy. His glasses weren’t fully turned in their direction, but Jonny could see his dark eyes through the shades. He was definitely watching them. Jonny had to admit he was more than a little turned on by the situation.
Seeing Jonny looking back at him, the boy shifted a little. Thom’s head snapped towards the movement. This was clear evidence that he’d been watching him closely and Jonny didn’t hesitate anymore. He lowered his head towards Thom’s ear, brushing his cheek against the spiky hair.
“What’s the matter, Thom?” he whispered.
“Getting a little jealous, are we?”
Thom snorted.
“Jealous? Me? How old is he, 26? He’s at least three years younger than you,” he hissed. “Well, Thom, for the record, I'm three years younger than you. But that doesn’t seem to be stopping you, is it?” he breathed, brushing his lips past Thom’s ear. “You have to admit he’s a cutie.”
Thom felt Jonny’s arousal pressing into his back through both their jeans. He himself was glad the man before him was wearing a large backpack.
Part Three
Suddenly everyone around them grew quiet. The lights had gone out and the metro was slowing down. One last shriek of the breaks and it stopped completely. In the middle of a tunnel. Apparently even the emergency lights didn’t work, because it was pitch dark.
There was a moment of dead silence, before one of the Italian girls started screaming like mad. Within a few seconds the small space was filled with noise. People were shouting and whining and pushing and arguing and words like ‘power cut’, ‘terrorists’ and ‘we’re all gonna die’ were heard more than once. The Italian girl had started hyperventilating and her friends had the hardest time making her breathe into the plastic bag, lighting the scene with their cell phones.
Thom and Jonny were still in the corner, Thom pressed against Jonny, Jonny pressed against the wall.
“You alright, Thom?”
“Yeah, fine. Just bloody hot, that’s all.”
“Well, you most definitely are,” Jonny whispered and slid his hands under Thom’s T-shirt.
He scratched Thom’s belly with his fingernails, which made the latter moan softly.
Thom threw his head back so that it rested in the crook of Jon’s neck.
“I feel like a blind man, with those sunglasses still on.”
“I can just feel my other senses working overtime,” Jonny replied.
“My hearing,” he breathed in Thom’s ear, “my smell,” tracing his nose along his cheek, inhaling deeply, “my touch,” his fingers playing with the waistband, “my... taste...” and at last, Jonny placed his full hot lips against Thom’s throat, silently and delicately kissing and licking his way upwards, until their lips met.
The sensation was indescribable. The noise around them seemed to fade into the background as Thom flicked his tongue past Jonny’s lips, after which Jon welcomed it with his. It was a long, very slow, almost sloppy kiss. The kind of kiss during which you’re already memorising every tiny detail like mad, for fear of eventually forgetting. And they both were enjoying it until the last bit.
When Thom eventually pulled back, a soft protesting moan escaped from Jonny’s lips. Thom started shifting in Jonny’s arms, clearly annoyed with the situation.
“What’s wrong, Thom?” Jonny asked.
“It’s – just – argh...” he mumbled, while trying to turn around.
He reluctantly gave up after a few seconds.
“Well, then we’ll just have to try it this way,”he said, and put his arm behind his back. In one swift motion, he let his hand slip into Jonny’s pants and started stroking him.
“Wait, what are you... jesus, Thom!” he managed to utter breathlessly.
Thom’s other hand joined in and together they opened the fly for better acces.
“Thom, no... what are you – God... Thom, we’re in the fucking subway – ungh... stop it!” Jonny hissed.
“Do you really want me to?” Thom teased and brushed his cheek against Jonny’s chest.
“Yes! I mean... no, but...”
“Well, that’s settled then,” came the reply as Thom increased his pace.
Jonny started panting and choking. Thom could tell he was trying to stay as quiet as possible, though the heated discussions and whining voices of the people surrounding them drowned every sound. Jonny’s hands were in Thoms hair, then his neck, then they were on his back, under his T-shirt. Thom felt him losing control.
Suddenly he remembered the brown haired boy again. He looked in his direction but couldn’t see a thing due to the darkness surrounding them.
“Oh Jonny, remember cutieboy?”
Jonny was breathing hard in his ear, almost there. He could only utter a soft moan, but Thom felt his head turning to the left. At that very moment, they both saw the light of a cell phone reflecting twice from what had to be sunglasses. They were turned straight towards them both.
The thought of the boy looking at them, knowing exactly what they were desperately trying to hide, together with Thom’s hand, guiding him towards release in a fucking subway – it was all Jonny needed to put him over the edge.
Part Four
Rumours were going around the metro that they would be stuck for at least half an hour. It was getting hotter and hotter and everyone was sticky and sweaty and gasping for breath, fanning themselves with whatever they could find. There was some commotion at the right and a few moments later they heard a loud bang and the sound of glass breaking.
“Sounds like someone broke a window,” Thom said casually. Jonny, who was only just managing to get his heartbeat to a normal rate, hummed in agreement. And indeed, a moment later a sweep of more or less fresh air moved through the crammed space and sighs of relief were heard everywhere. Suddenly, all cell phones were pointing at one guy trying to climb out of the hole in the window.
“It’s crazy what people do when they’re panicking,” Thom commented.
“Still ok yourself?” Jonny asked.
“Hm,” Thom considered, “maybe. But I could be a lot better.” He put his arm around Jonny’s neck behind him and pulled his head down to whisper in his ear.
“I’m still horny as fuck, Jonjon,” he hissed. Jonny grinned.
“Is that so, Thom?” he whispered back whilst moving his hands from Thom’s belly down to his groin, slowly exploring the tight trousers and then gently massaging the straining erection that was about to burst through the zipper.
“Oh, you are,” he concluded. Thom, who was breathing hard and whimpering, captured Jonny’s earlobe between his teeth and sucked hard.
“So –ungh- what are you going to do about that?” he hummed in Jonny’s ear.
“Gee, I don’t know, Thomas, what do you want me to do?” Thom reached around and found Jonny already aroused again. He squeezed hard, hissed “fuck me, Jonathan” and quickly flicked his tongue in his ear.
Jonny, a little taken aback though hard beyond belief, hesitated.
“What? Right here?”
“Right here.”
“We can’t- you just got me off in the subway, don’t you think that’s...”
“I think we can do a lot more in the subway,” came Thom’s final reply.
He unzipped his jeans and reached around to open Jonny’s again.
“Thom, are you sure?” Jonny was still hesitating.
“Don’t be a chicken, Jonny, I can feel you wanting it.”
“I’m not a chicken,” Jonny said, pouting.
“Then do me. Now.”
Part Five
Thom pulled Jonny’s cock out and started stroking again. It wasn’t long before Jonny slapped his hand away and shoved Thom’s jeans and boxers down over his hips in one movement. Never in his life had Thom been more aroused by anticipation alone. And the feeling was mutual, because before long Jonny had his cock slick with saliva and teasing Thom’s opening.
“How bad do you want it, Thom?” he whispered. “Do you even care about people finding out what we’re doing at this very moment?”
Thom could barely answer. “The thought alone makes me come, Jonny. Fucking do it already.”
Jonny obeyed and slowly pushed himself in, pulling Thom’s hips towards him. Thom let out a deep sigh and arched his back. Once inside, he put his lips to Thom’s neck, sucking hard. “How’s that feel, Thommy?”
“Fucking amazing,” Thom breathed. So Jonny eased himself out and started a slow, agonizing rhythm, each time pushing and pulling at Thom’s hips so as not to shove him into the backpack in front of him. The moment seemed so unbelievably surreal to Jonny. Stuck with Thom in a pitch dark subway, fucking him while no one around them even knows... Thom, meanwhile, had opened his legs as far as they could go with his trousers still on and people surrounding them. He was trying his utmost not to whimper and his lower lip was already bleeding from biting it.
Suddenly the train car shuddered. Women shrieked and people tried to grab a pole to keep from falling. It didn’t take long before another bump was felt throughout the metro. The movements were driving Jonny further into Thom, practically impaling the latter on his cock. They both moaned aloud at the same time, but luckily the sounds were drowned in the noise of everyone else’s surprised shouts.
Slowly, the subway started to continue his way forward and panic rushed through Jonny. Soon the lights would go on and everyone would know what they were doing. Before he could properly think it over, Thom urged him to go faster. He started pushing himself back to Jonny, murmuring “come on, come on, faster, faster, not much time left” and stroking himself. Jonny was increasing his pace, biting and licking Thom’s neck and trying as hard as he could not to move too much. He felt the climax building and Thom was obviously getting there as well. He had started to shudder and Jonny felt his muscles clenching around his cock. Thom threw his head back against Jonny’s chest and the latter immediately covered his mouth with his own just in time. Thom came hard in his own hand and his moan was muffled by Jonny’s lips. With a few more thrusts Jonny was there as well. He pushed a last time into Thom, hard, and – the lights went on.
Jonny saw the change in light through his squeezed shut eyelids and opened them with a jolt. Thom had managed to zip up in a hurry, but it was too late for him to even pull out before Thom’s cell phone rang.
Before that, nobody had been paying attention to their corner, blinded by the sudden light, but now a few heads were turning in the direction of the cell phone tune. Jonny immediately composed himself, pulling his T-shirt down and leaning back so he wasn’t glued against Thom’s back, but he was still inside Thom, hips pressed together, and had no idea how to pull out and zip up without people noticing.
Thom, meanwhile, had picked up the phone. “Ed? We’re on our... yes, I know... Ed, let me – yes I know... it’s not our fault! The subway – no! Ed, don’t make me bloody yell at you in a subway, dammit!” he hissed. As if that was the worst thing one could do in a subway, Jonny thought, his cock still inside. Thom just continued talking to Ed as if it were the most normal thing in the world. The subway was slowing down now and they were nearing the next stop. Everyone’s attention was drawn to the opposite doors, so Jonny figured it was safe to compose himself properly.
Everyone’s attention – except for one boy with brown curls and sunglasses. Jonny had forgotten about him completely in the course of events (who wouldn’t have?) but apparently he hadn’t forgotten about them. Upon seeing Jonny looking at him he quickly turned his head to some point a bit farther away. He totally knew what they had been doing. Strangely enough, Jonny didn’t mind at all. He found it rather amusing and wondered what the boy would be thinking right now. He slowly pulled out of Thom, who turned his whimper into a cough. When he was about to pull up his boxers, Thom reached around with his free hand and gave the sensitive skin a quick stroke. Jonny couldn’t help but shudder at the sensation and returned the favour by putting his right hand under Thom’s T-shirt and pinching his nipple. He zipped up just in time before the metro stopped completely and Thom, who had apparently ended his conversation, took his hand and led him towards the exit.
When they were almost outside, Jonny felt a hand circling his wrist and looked around, stopping in his tracks. Thom, who hadn’t seen it, kept walking a few more steps before turning around. He saw Jonny talking to the brown-haired beauty and before jealousy could manifest entirely, he noticed just how good they would look together. And he meant together.
Bewitched, Bothered and Bemused, pt 1-2
Part One
*Setting – A sunny summers day in LA*
It was, as I have just said in the setting, a bright sunny day in LA. The kind of day that should make you want to sing or dance, or go rollerblading in ridiculously small hotpants or something. But Thom, sitting in the back of a slightly strange smelling cab on the way to his hotel, was feeling decidedly grumpy. The sun was glaring in through the windows, hitting his left eye in a very annoying fashion, and he was cramped in between Colin and Jonny with virtually no room to stretch his legs. But at least he was off that blasted airplane. Anything was better than spending hours on that airless tin can. God he wished he hadn’t left his sunglasses on the plane. All he wanted to do was go to his hotel room, have a drink, and not wake up until it was time to play the show.
As the cab pulled up outside their hotel, Thom was very annoyed to spot a very peppy looking blonde woman waiting to greet them. “Hi, I’m Mindy she trilled, sticking a hand out to greet them which Thom, in his rather moody jetlagged state decided to ignore. Mindy decided to plough on regardless. “I’ve just moved to ATO from Sony-BMG, and I must say I’m really looking forward to working with you guys”. “A step down from working with Justin Timberlake I’m sure”, mumbled Thom, which to his surprise earned him a giggle from Mindy. “Gee, I sure do love you British guys and your dry sense of humour” she simpered, flashing him a dazzling white smile. Jonny pushed past both of them and headed into the hotel without a word. Wow, thought Thom, he must be more jet lagged than I thought. I’d better make my excuses and follow him. “Well I’d love to stay and chat, but I should really be checking in”, he said to Mindy who was still grinning manically. “Sure thing, and if you need anything be sure and call me!” She replied, “Hope you like your room”. “As long as it has a minibar and a bed it’ll do fine”, said Thom, earning himself another giggle, this time accompanied by a hair flip. God, American women are strange.
*setting – a darkened room*
A cauldron is bubbling over an open fire. A candle flutters in the breeze next to it. A hooded figure approaches, clutching something which is not visible in the dim light. The mysterious figure begins to chant.
“Diana... goddess of love and the hunt... I pray to thee. Let my cries bind the heart of all. May they neither rest nor sleep until they submit to his will only.”
Now the figure drops the object into the cauldron. As it sinks into the brew, the light of the fire reveals it to be a cd of “The Eraser”.
“Diana, bring about this love and bless it”
And with these words they blow out the candle.
Part Two
*Thom’s Hotel Room. Around 1am*
Thom was in the middle of a rather strange dream involving dancing with wombats dressed in longjohns (long distance flights always had a funny effect on him) when he was jerked awake by a loud crash. He groggily opened his eyes only to start awake when he saw a dark figure looming over him. It took a few seconds for his to adjust to the dark and realize that it was Jonny, and that the crash was probably to do with the smashed remains of the lamp that had been standing on the bedside table. “What the bloody hell are you doing here” Thom said. Well actually the speech centre of his brain hadn’t quite woken up yet, so it came out more like “whadablurryherrerrudoinere”. Luckily Jonny had had long experience at waking Thom up early in the morning (he was the designated wake-Thom-up-for-early-morning-journeys-when-we’re-on-tour-er, none of the others would have dared come between Thom and his sleep) and so was able to understand him perfectly well. “Sorry” he stammered, “I umm just wanted to umm talk to you about the umm setlist”. Thom rolled his eyes. It was so easy to tell when Jonny was lying. “Come on, I think we both know the real reason you snuck in here”. Even in the darkened room, Thom could tell that Jonny was blushing. “You mean that you know that I… ““Had a nightmare” finished Thom. “Had a wha…I mean, yes I did”, said Jonny, a strange look of disappointment passing briefly over his face. “You don’t have to be embarrassed mate, I mean how long have we known each other”, Thom said in his most reassuring tone, “come on, hop in”. He pulled the duvet aside and made room as Jonny snuggled down into bed beside him. Jonny and his nightmares, thought Thom as he drifted off to sleep. When they were younger he used to have them regularly (or at least he did whenever Thom slept over at the Greenwoods, Colin said they didn’t seem to happen quite that often usually). He hadn’t had any for quite a few years, but Thom knew the best way to help Jonny would still be to let him sleep in with him. For some reason it seemed to calm him.
Thom woke up to early morning sunlight streaming in through the gap where the curtains didn’t quite meet. It fell on the cracked remains of what had once been a lamp. God I hope the NME don’t hear about that thought Thom. Just think of the headlines, “Radiohead stars in room trashing scandal!” Jonny’s arms were wrapped around his chest, his face snuggled into the back of his neck. He was always such a cuddly sleeper. No matter what position they fell asleep, Thom would always wake the next morning to find Jonny wrapped around him. If anyone was to walk in, they’d think there was some funny business going on. Chuckling at how ludicrous that was, Thom disentangled himself and went to the bathroom. Checking his reflection in the mirror, he noticed how long his beard had gotten. Maybe Jonny was right, it did make him look a bit like a hobo. Sifting through his overnight bag he found a razor that had long been unused and began to shave.
*Setting – A sunny summers day in LA*
It was, as I have just said in the setting, a bright sunny day in LA. The kind of day that should make you want to sing or dance, or go rollerblading in ridiculously small hotpants or something. But Thom, sitting in the back of a slightly strange smelling cab on the way to his hotel, was feeling decidedly grumpy. The sun was glaring in through the windows, hitting his left eye in a very annoying fashion, and he was cramped in between Colin and Jonny with virtually no room to stretch his legs. But at least he was off that blasted airplane. Anything was better than spending hours on that airless tin can. God he wished he hadn’t left his sunglasses on the plane. All he wanted to do was go to his hotel room, have a drink, and not wake up until it was time to play the show.
As the cab pulled up outside their hotel, Thom was very annoyed to spot a very peppy looking blonde woman waiting to greet them. “Hi, I’m Mindy she trilled, sticking a hand out to greet them which Thom, in his rather moody jetlagged state decided to ignore. Mindy decided to plough on regardless. “I’ve just moved to ATO from Sony-BMG, and I must say I’m really looking forward to working with you guys”. “A step down from working with Justin Timberlake I’m sure”, mumbled Thom, which to his surprise earned him a giggle from Mindy. “Gee, I sure do love you British guys and your dry sense of humour” she simpered, flashing him a dazzling white smile. Jonny pushed past both of them and headed into the hotel without a word. Wow, thought Thom, he must be more jet lagged than I thought. I’d better make my excuses and follow him. “Well I’d love to stay and chat, but I should really be checking in”, he said to Mindy who was still grinning manically. “Sure thing, and if you need anything be sure and call me!” She replied, “Hope you like your room”. “As long as it has a minibar and a bed it’ll do fine”, said Thom, earning himself another giggle, this time accompanied by a hair flip. God, American women are strange.
*setting – a darkened room*
A cauldron is bubbling over an open fire. A candle flutters in the breeze next to it. A hooded figure approaches, clutching something which is not visible in the dim light. The mysterious figure begins to chant.
“Diana... goddess of love and the hunt... I pray to thee. Let my cries bind the heart of all. May they neither rest nor sleep until they submit to his will only.”
Now the figure drops the object into the cauldron. As it sinks into the brew, the light of the fire reveals it to be a cd of “The Eraser”.
“Diana, bring about this love and bless it”
And with these words they blow out the candle.
Part Two
*Thom’s Hotel Room. Around 1am*
Thom was in the middle of a rather strange dream involving dancing with wombats dressed in longjohns (long distance flights always had a funny effect on him) when he was jerked awake by a loud crash. He groggily opened his eyes only to start awake when he saw a dark figure looming over him. It took a few seconds for his to adjust to the dark and realize that it was Jonny, and that the crash was probably to do with the smashed remains of the lamp that had been standing on the bedside table. “What the bloody hell are you doing here” Thom said. Well actually the speech centre of his brain hadn’t quite woken up yet, so it came out more like “whadablurryherrerrudoinere”. Luckily Jonny had had long experience at waking Thom up early in the morning (he was the designated wake-Thom-up-for-early-morning-journeys-when-we’re-on-tour-er, none of the others would have dared come between Thom and his sleep) and so was able to understand him perfectly well. “Sorry” he stammered, “I umm just wanted to umm talk to you about the umm setlist”. Thom rolled his eyes. It was so easy to tell when Jonny was lying. “Come on, I think we both know the real reason you snuck in here”. Even in the darkened room, Thom could tell that Jonny was blushing. “You mean that you know that I… ““Had a nightmare” finished Thom. “Had a wha…I mean, yes I did”, said Jonny, a strange look of disappointment passing briefly over his face. “You don’t have to be embarrassed mate, I mean how long have we known each other”, Thom said in his most reassuring tone, “come on, hop in”. He pulled the duvet aside and made room as Jonny snuggled down into bed beside him. Jonny and his nightmares, thought Thom as he drifted off to sleep. When they were younger he used to have them regularly (or at least he did whenever Thom slept over at the Greenwoods, Colin said they didn’t seem to happen quite that often usually). He hadn’t had any for quite a few years, but Thom knew the best way to help Jonny would still be to let him sleep in with him. For some reason it seemed to calm him.
Thom woke up to early morning sunlight streaming in through the gap where the curtains didn’t quite meet. It fell on the cracked remains of what had once been a lamp. God I hope the NME don’t hear about that thought Thom. Just think of the headlines, “Radiohead stars in room trashing scandal!” Jonny’s arms were wrapped around his chest, his face snuggled into the back of his neck. He was always such a cuddly sleeper. No matter what position they fell asleep, Thom would always wake the next morning to find Jonny wrapped around him. If anyone was to walk in, they’d think there was some funny business going on. Chuckling at how ludicrous that was, Thom disentangled himself and went to the bathroom. Checking his reflection in the mirror, he noticed how long his beard had gotten. Maybe Jonny was right, it did make him look a bit like a hobo. Sifting through his overnight bag he found a razor that had long been unused and began to shave.
When Thom slept over
Jonny was a sound sleeper. He never fell asleep easily, but once he was gone, he was gone for the whole night. Waking up therefore usually took him about fifteen minutes. So when Jonny woke up with a jolt early that morning, he needed some time to rub his eyes open and figure out where he was. And, more importantly, who he was with.
Thom’s naked form was lying sprawled out on his bedroom floor, already asleep again after having tumbled out of the small single bed. Jonny heard his mother’s bedroom door opening and footsteps in the hallway. Realisation finally dawned on him and he jumped out of bed, almost falling over Thom’s right leg. Not bothering to wake him up first, he shoved Thom with one movement under his bed. He was just able to put on his boxers and pull the covers to the ground when his mother opened the door in her robe.
“What’s going on here? What was that crash I heard? Are you ok?” she asked, worried.
“Yeah Mum, fine, I just fell out of bed, must’ve been dreaming.”
At this, Mrs. Greenwood let out a loud, high pitched laugh.
“Oh, honey I’m sorry, but that’s just too funny. You sure you’re not hurt?” she laughed, ruffling his hair, which she could barely reach anymore.
Before he could assure her, they heard Colin shouting from his room across the hall.
“Has anyone seen Thom?”
Dammit, Mum’s laughter must’ve woken him up. He jumped quickly past his mother and into the hall.
“He’s not in his bed.”
“I don’t know, Colin, maybe he went for a glass of water downstairs?” he answered whilst pushing his mum back to her room. “Just go back to sleep, Mum, you must still be tired.”
“Oh yeah,” Colin answered, entirely not convinced but going downstairs anyway.
Once he was out of sight, Jonny rushed back into the room and pulled Thom out from under the bed by his foot.
“Wake up, you sod, Colin’s looking for you!” Thom pried one eye open, all innocence and sleepiness. Jonny picked up his boxers from under the bed and threw them at him.
“Put that on, we’ve got no time left! God, we shouldn’t have-” He was already out the door, standing guard for when Colin would return. When Thom finally came up to him, Jonny quickly shoved him into the bathroom with a final “and come up with some bloody brilliant excuse!” when Colin came back up the stairs.
“He’s not downstairs!” he said, puzzled.
“I think he’s in the bathroom,” Jonny answered, trying a fake yawn and not at all succeeding.
“I’m going back to bed.”
When Colin opened the bathroom door, Thom was standing an inch away from the mirror, his index finger poking a spot by his ear.
“It’s weird, you can’t see anything at all, but when I push here it hurts,” he said, fascinated.
Colin rolled his eyes and went back to bed.
When Thom came over, Jonny had to think thrice as fast as other times. Just now, he made another mistake. He had to learn to go and sit at the breakfast table before Thom.
Now he was the last one and the only spot available was right in front of him. From the way Thom was looking at him he knew he had to watch out.
Thom loved teasing Jonny. Especially now, during breakfast. He had made sure that Jonny would be sitting in front of him and the look on Jonny’s face told him to watch out. Or else. He lifted an eyebrow as if to say ‘or else what?’. But Jonny ignored him and turned his chair slightly towards the others. Watching Jonny have breakfast was a feast on its own. The melted cheese on his toast was very promising. And oh yes, he was taking a bite now. The cheese was stretching and stretching and finally all strands broke, one of them deliciously sticking to Jonny’s chin.
Chewing slowly, Jonny knew all too well that Thom was watching him. When he finally flicked out his tongue to capture the cheese strand into his mouth, his eyes locked with Thom’s for a split second. Pure lust was dripping from his face. He quickly looked away, checking Colin and his mother’s faces to see if anyone would suspect something. But no, they were engrossed in conversation. Out of nowhere, Thom dropped in. “Yes, of course, but don’t forget that he’s got a lot more experience. So I’m not so sure about that.” Thom was very good at that. Jonny didn’t have the faintest clue as to what they were talking about. He was too busy checking if Thom was keeping his hands to his own, and his legs, for that matter.
Just when he was about to get up, he felt a bare foot riding up against his leg, over his knee and towards his crotch. He jumped violently and his knee hit the table. Tea splashed everywhere.
“Jonny? Everything alright?” asked Colin, frowning.
“Yeah, sure,” he mumbled, blushing crimson and leaving the kitchen in a hurry.
Thom knew exactly where Jonny had gone, and after excusing himself, he went straight to the upstairs toilet and swung the door open. Before Jonny, who was only sitting on top of the toilet, like Thom suspected, had time to snarl a ‘don’t you know how to knock?’, Thom had locked the door and thrown himself on Jonny’s lap. Jonny, though trying his very best not to forget that he was supposed to be cross with him, couldn’t help but give in when Thom grinded his hips into Jonny’s and made him moan into Thom’s mouth. After a passionate makeout session, Thom managed to pant “So, did you leave the door unlocked for me? That’s so romantic, Jonny.” Jonny wiped at his mouth before answering: “No, actually not. Really Thom, when are you going to stop teasing me like that? You know they can’t possibly find out!” Thom cocked his eyebrow. “Ooh, are we in a bad mood? Your anatomy is telling me other things...” he answered slyly, running his fingertips lightly over the bulge in Jonny’s jeans, at which he squirmed. “Thom! Are you listening? If we fall asleep again like that someone’s going to find out and I’ll be dead! You’ll be dead!” At this, Thom grew serious. “You’re right, Jon. It is a problem. A problem that I’m going to fix. Right now.” Thom crawled off Jonny’s lap and unlocked the door. Jonny grew wary. “Thom, what are you-“ But a quick peck on his lips stopped him from finishing his sentence and Thom was already out the door.
Ten minutes later Jonny passed Thom and Colin coming from Colin’s room. They were going out, apparently.
“Where are you going?” Jonny asked.
“To the record shop, and some furniture sale or something. I can’t believe you want to buy that New Order compilation, Thom. You already have three out of four albums.
Colin was already descending the stairs, still babbling to himself, and Thom took the opportunity to push a bewildered Jonny quickly against the wall and kiss him sweetly. “Don’t worry, I’ll solve everything,” he whispered quickly and with one last lick he was gone.
Thom’s naked form was lying sprawled out on his bedroom floor, already asleep again after having tumbled out of the small single bed. Jonny heard his mother’s bedroom door opening and footsteps in the hallway. Realisation finally dawned on him and he jumped out of bed, almost falling over Thom’s right leg. Not bothering to wake him up first, he shoved Thom with one movement under his bed. He was just able to put on his boxers and pull the covers to the ground when his mother opened the door in her robe.
“What’s going on here? What was that crash I heard? Are you ok?” she asked, worried.
“Yeah Mum, fine, I just fell out of bed, must’ve been dreaming.”
At this, Mrs. Greenwood let out a loud, high pitched laugh.
“Oh, honey I’m sorry, but that’s just too funny. You sure you’re not hurt?” she laughed, ruffling his hair, which she could barely reach anymore.
Before he could assure her, they heard Colin shouting from his room across the hall.
“Has anyone seen Thom?”
Dammit, Mum’s laughter must’ve woken him up. He jumped quickly past his mother and into the hall.
“He’s not in his bed.”
“I don’t know, Colin, maybe he went for a glass of water downstairs?” he answered whilst pushing his mum back to her room. “Just go back to sleep, Mum, you must still be tired.”
“Oh yeah,” Colin answered, entirely not convinced but going downstairs anyway.
Once he was out of sight, Jonny rushed back into the room and pulled Thom out from under the bed by his foot.
“Wake up, you sod, Colin’s looking for you!” Thom pried one eye open, all innocence and sleepiness. Jonny picked up his boxers from under the bed and threw them at him.
“Put that on, we’ve got no time left! God, we shouldn’t have-” He was already out the door, standing guard for when Colin would return. When Thom finally came up to him, Jonny quickly shoved him into the bathroom with a final “and come up with some bloody brilliant excuse!” when Colin came back up the stairs.
“He’s not downstairs!” he said, puzzled.
“I think he’s in the bathroom,” Jonny answered, trying a fake yawn and not at all succeeding.
“I’m going back to bed.”
When Colin opened the bathroom door, Thom was standing an inch away from the mirror, his index finger poking a spot by his ear.
“It’s weird, you can’t see anything at all, but when I push here it hurts,” he said, fascinated.
Colin rolled his eyes and went back to bed.
When Thom came over, Jonny had to think thrice as fast as other times. Just now, he made another mistake. He had to learn to go and sit at the breakfast table before Thom.
Now he was the last one and the only spot available was right in front of him. From the way Thom was looking at him he knew he had to watch out.
Thom loved teasing Jonny. Especially now, during breakfast. He had made sure that Jonny would be sitting in front of him and the look on Jonny’s face told him to watch out. Or else. He lifted an eyebrow as if to say ‘or else what?’. But Jonny ignored him and turned his chair slightly towards the others. Watching Jonny have breakfast was a feast on its own. The melted cheese on his toast was very promising. And oh yes, he was taking a bite now. The cheese was stretching and stretching and finally all strands broke, one of them deliciously sticking to Jonny’s chin.
Chewing slowly, Jonny knew all too well that Thom was watching him. When he finally flicked out his tongue to capture the cheese strand into his mouth, his eyes locked with Thom’s for a split second. Pure lust was dripping from his face. He quickly looked away, checking Colin and his mother’s faces to see if anyone would suspect something. But no, they were engrossed in conversation. Out of nowhere, Thom dropped in. “Yes, of course, but don’t forget that he’s got a lot more experience. So I’m not so sure about that.” Thom was very good at that. Jonny didn’t have the faintest clue as to what they were talking about. He was too busy checking if Thom was keeping his hands to his own, and his legs, for that matter.
Just when he was about to get up, he felt a bare foot riding up against his leg, over his knee and towards his crotch. He jumped violently and his knee hit the table. Tea splashed everywhere.
“Jonny? Everything alright?” asked Colin, frowning.
“Yeah, sure,” he mumbled, blushing crimson and leaving the kitchen in a hurry.
Thom knew exactly where Jonny had gone, and after excusing himself, he went straight to the upstairs toilet and swung the door open. Before Jonny, who was only sitting on top of the toilet, like Thom suspected, had time to snarl a ‘don’t you know how to knock?’, Thom had locked the door and thrown himself on Jonny’s lap. Jonny, though trying his very best not to forget that he was supposed to be cross with him, couldn’t help but give in when Thom grinded his hips into Jonny’s and made him moan into Thom’s mouth. After a passionate makeout session, Thom managed to pant “So, did you leave the door unlocked for me? That’s so romantic, Jonny.” Jonny wiped at his mouth before answering: “No, actually not. Really Thom, when are you going to stop teasing me like that? You know they can’t possibly find out!” Thom cocked his eyebrow. “Ooh, are we in a bad mood? Your anatomy is telling me other things...” he answered slyly, running his fingertips lightly over the bulge in Jonny’s jeans, at which he squirmed. “Thom! Are you listening? If we fall asleep again like that someone’s going to find out and I’ll be dead! You’ll be dead!” At this, Thom grew serious. “You’re right, Jon. It is a problem. A problem that I’m going to fix. Right now.” Thom crawled off Jonny’s lap and unlocked the door. Jonny grew wary. “Thom, what are you-“ But a quick peck on his lips stopped him from finishing his sentence and Thom was already out the door.
Ten minutes later Jonny passed Thom and Colin coming from Colin’s room. They were going out, apparently.
“Where are you going?” Jonny asked.
“To the record shop, and some furniture sale or something. I can’t believe you want to buy that New Order compilation, Thom. You already have three out of four albums.
Colin was already descending the stairs, still babbling to himself, and Thom took the opportunity to push a bewildered Jonny quickly against the wall and kiss him sweetly. “Don’t worry, I’ll solve everything,” he whispered quickly and with one last lick he was gone.
Monday, December 24, 2007
In the shadows of the closed doors
Jonny’s POV
When I was small I used to take afternoon naps quite often. And honestly, sleeping for two hours was like watching an independent flick somewhere at the underground theatre – but surely I didn’t know anything about the films and especially the alternative genre at that time, for I was…well, maybe about five or six.
My childhood was the only time when I saw nightmares frequently. Surely I would get one or two in year in my adult life, but those would be considered nightmares only after I would wake up and realize that the dream would be probably tagged as “Horror” or at least a “Thriller” by the heavy guys in the movie associations. One time when I was about five I imagined that we were trapped in the house that was sealed hermetically and every 5 o’clock or so water would fill it gradually. The trick was, we didn’t know how much water there would be each day; sometimes it barely reached our knees, while on the less fortunate nights we would be gulping oxygen and touching the ceiling with our noses and lips.
Another interesting thing about my dreams – they had general trends. For example, one would be narrated by a very pleasant voice that would echo in my head. The one I described earlier, for example, started with the voice saying “Jason Marzena, a very nice young men of a Hispanic origin, had been decaying in the water for about 2 days. Of course he didn’t mind for his was not alive…” And so on. Another thing – I couldn’t run, and a lot of my dreams were chasing dreams. I would literally remember in my dream that I couldn’t run and I would only go so fast, understanding that I was going to be caught any minute.
Sometimes I would open my eyes and feel that the reality was not ready for me – my room would seem liquid to me and the monsters would still be there, although hiding clumsily. Sometimes my imagination plaid tricks on me and I would rush downstairs to inform my mom that the things in my room moved by themselves and she would smile and tuck a lose strand of hair behind my ear. That was probably the scariest point for – the merging of the dream and reality, and I would lie in my bed without moving, breathing deeply and feeling my heart flutter against my chest.
The truth is, kissing Thom was like pulling the demons out of my dreams and into the reality. Not that it was scary and disgusting – very much on the contrary, however the composition of booze, giddiness and hormones really made every encounter smudged and unreal. I remember that time just as I remember my childhood – the two worlds intertwined tightly, to the point there I didn’t know if it happened or it was just another surge of my imagination. I can’t recall our first kiss. Well, I can easily remember that we were somewhere outside because his lips felt cold and numb and we were both beyond tipsy because it felt like I was inhaling pure alcohol fumes; I still shiver at the memory of his cold hand touching my warm neck and calloused fingertips tracing down the skin to dive behind my collar and stroke the flat spot just below my neck.
I think that both Thom and I wanted to kick those encounters back into the dream world, because that was there they belonged, it’s just that they were so vivid that they spilled into the reality. I’m still amazed by the amount of delicacy we applied to keep that glass world around ourselves going, for no questions were asked and even though my lips would be raw in the next day, it would be easily for me to think that I’ve taken a habit of biting them again than face the unarguable act of Thom’s mouth on mine in the shadows of the closed doors.
Sometimes I used to dream in the real world; I would be sitting in the basement that served as our temporary studio, watching him giving directions to the guys, and the certain contraction of muscles under the skin of his arms, exposed by the rolled up sleeves of the brilliantly white shirt would spill the feeling of warmth inside my chest; I would watch the way his fingers glide in the air and be amazed by the fact that there were no angles in their movement, just smooth curves. There was a breath-taking drama in the way his precise hand would cut through the air to signal for us to begin playing – or maybe it was just another illusion of mine. And then I thought about those arms around my shoulders in the end of the day – his fingers twisting a lock of my hair casually while he runs his lips along my jaw line, his soft lips gliding down the skin of my neck. Later, much later, he would tell me that sometimes he thinks that my skin is clean canvas and the enormous excitement takes him over – the same excitement when you have an instrument in your hands and a lot of ideas buzzing in your head.
Looking back on it, I guess that summer was our dream – the one that you want to hold on to when you feel that you are waking up gradually, the one that haunts you with flashbacks and makes you suffocate in the need of returning to it.
When I was small I used to take afternoon naps quite often. And honestly, sleeping for two hours was like watching an independent flick somewhere at the underground theatre – but surely I didn’t know anything about the films and especially the alternative genre at that time, for I was…well, maybe about five or six.
My childhood was the only time when I saw nightmares frequently. Surely I would get one or two in year in my adult life, but those would be considered nightmares only after I would wake up and realize that the dream would be probably tagged as “Horror” or at least a “Thriller” by the heavy guys in the movie associations. One time when I was about five I imagined that we were trapped in the house that was sealed hermetically and every 5 o’clock or so water would fill it gradually. The trick was, we didn’t know how much water there would be each day; sometimes it barely reached our knees, while on the less fortunate nights we would be gulping oxygen and touching the ceiling with our noses and lips.
Another interesting thing about my dreams – they had general trends. For example, one would be narrated by a very pleasant voice that would echo in my head. The one I described earlier, for example, started with the voice saying “Jason Marzena, a very nice young men of a Hispanic origin, had been decaying in the water for about 2 days. Of course he didn’t mind for his was not alive…” And so on. Another thing – I couldn’t run, and a lot of my dreams were chasing dreams. I would literally remember in my dream that I couldn’t run and I would only go so fast, understanding that I was going to be caught any minute.
Sometimes I would open my eyes and feel that the reality was not ready for me – my room would seem liquid to me and the monsters would still be there, although hiding clumsily. Sometimes my imagination plaid tricks on me and I would rush downstairs to inform my mom that the things in my room moved by themselves and she would smile and tuck a lose strand of hair behind my ear. That was probably the scariest point for – the merging of the dream and reality, and I would lie in my bed without moving, breathing deeply and feeling my heart flutter against my chest.
The truth is, kissing Thom was like pulling the demons out of my dreams and into the reality. Not that it was scary and disgusting – very much on the contrary, however the composition of booze, giddiness and hormones really made every encounter smudged and unreal. I remember that time just as I remember my childhood – the two worlds intertwined tightly, to the point there I didn’t know if it happened or it was just another surge of my imagination. I can’t recall our first kiss. Well, I can easily remember that we were somewhere outside because his lips felt cold and numb and we were both beyond tipsy because it felt like I was inhaling pure alcohol fumes; I still shiver at the memory of his cold hand touching my warm neck and calloused fingertips tracing down the skin to dive behind my collar and stroke the flat spot just below my neck.
I think that both Thom and I wanted to kick those encounters back into the dream world, because that was there they belonged, it’s just that they were so vivid that they spilled into the reality. I’m still amazed by the amount of delicacy we applied to keep that glass world around ourselves going, for no questions were asked and even though my lips would be raw in the next day, it would be easily for me to think that I’ve taken a habit of biting them again than face the unarguable act of Thom’s mouth on mine in the shadows of the closed doors.
Sometimes I used to dream in the real world; I would be sitting in the basement that served as our temporary studio, watching him giving directions to the guys, and the certain contraction of muscles under the skin of his arms, exposed by the rolled up sleeves of the brilliantly white shirt would spill the feeling of warmth inside my chest; I would watch the way his fingers glide in the air and be amazed by the fact that there were no angles in their movement, just smooth curves. There was a breath-taking drama in the way his precise hand would cut through the air to signal for us to begin playing – or maybe it was just another illusion of mine. And then I thought about those arms around my shoulders in the end of the day – his fingers twisting a lock of my hair casually while he runs his lips along my jaw line, his soft lips gliding down the skin of my neck. Later, much later, he would tell me that sometimes he thinks that my skin is clean canvas and the enormous excitement takes him over – the same excitement when you have an instrument in your hands and a lot of ideas buzzing in your head.
Looking back on it, I guess that summer was our dream – the one that you want to hold on to when you feel that you are waking up gradually, the one that haunts you with flashbacks and makes you suffocate in the need of returning to it.
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