Available here.
Part 21
Showing posts with label controversial. Show all posts
Showing posts with label controversial. Show all posts
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Nox est perpetua una dormienda
There was a ray of sunlight cutting through one of the high gymnasium windows, falling directly onto his exam paper. He squinted at it while he finished his final line of writing with a flourish, a small inner part of him leaping in joy as he glanced at the big clock in the front of the exam hall, where the hands were ticking down the last three minutes until half past four and blessed freedom.
The boy at the desk in front of him had red-blond hair that caught the sunshine like spun gold. He was tapping a rhythm against the table leg with the side of his shoe, and Jonny surreptitiously underlaid it with the syncopated beat of his biro on the edge of his pencil case. A bee was buzzing lazily around one of the light fittings; some students who had completed their papers were following its languorous path with dulled eyes and slack mouths, their blazers abandoned over the backs of chairs and their ties loosened in a futile attempt to cool down. The almost intolerable heat of the room was barely alleviated by the open door onto the playing field.
“Please stop writing now,” came the voice of the invigilator from the front desk, and like a ripple spreading on the surface of a stagnant pond, a shuffle and murmur echoed around the hall as a hundred pens were set down and a hundred answer booklets were closed. Jonny sat back, stretching out with legs extended and arms folded behind his head, until papers were collected and they were dismissed; and then he unfolded himself from his chair, Latin anthology clutched under one arm, gathering his schoolbag from the back of the hall and discarding blazer and tie even before he'd escaped through the door and was haring off across the field towards the wall, and the road, and summer.
A small group of older boys waited for him in the shade of one of the trees that lined the avenue in front of the school. They looked like the kind of group that boys of his age were warned about: a Bad Influence, the Scourge of Society, lackadaisical layabouts who would Come To a Bad End. Jonny, of course, knew better; those boys had been his only real friends for the past four years. There was his brother, heading the little welcome committee, and his insides gave an uneasy jolt at the duality of emotions that seeing Colin always stirred in him. Colin's hair had already grown long enough during his first year at university that their mother had threatened to take a pair of shears to it when they'd greeted him off the train in Oxford, and he was wearing a stripy boatneck top that he'd pilfered out of their sister's wardrobe. Jonny, at two and a half years younger, already had to bend down into the brief hug that they exchanged, relishing the comforting sensation of the slim hard body pressed up against his, the familiar scent that both calmed him and quickened his pulse in a way that made his stomach churn.
“Ahhhhh, little Jon-Jon, all grown up,” Thom snickered, hovering at Colin's elbow and shattering the moment. He was the only one of the group who'd watched Jonny's gradual metamorphosis in the past nine months from awkward, gangly teenager into something more self-assured, having taken a year out from school; his hair was the same red-gold as that of the boy who'd sat in front of Jonny, and it caught the sun in the same way. Philip, on the other hand, the oldest of their group, appeared to have lost even more up top, and was hiding the fact under an ill-advised Indian-style hat. Ed, someone that Jonny had always regarded with something approaching awe, was slightly fuzzy in a vague cloud of pot smoke, but less coolly aloof than he'd ever seemed before. This was the first time they'd all been together since Christmas, and Jonny could already sense the changes happening, giving him a pleasant tingle in his stomach.
“Leave the poor boy alone, Thom.” That was Ed, he and his awful bowl-cut looming large over the heads of the others; he leaned over and plucked the Latin anthology from Jonny's hands, snorting as he did so. “Just think about it, Jon – no more Latin, ever!”
As they began to drift towards the town centre, Ed flipped through the book, with Thom adding snide interjections whenever they came across something that amused them.
“I like Latin,” Jonny protested faintly, aware of Colin's presence bristling at Ed and Thom's attitude.
“Yeah, but, it's dead, isn't it?” Thom reasoned. He had a cigarette out now, pinned between short nailbitten fingers, dragging on it furiously as they walked. “You seriously aren't taking it next year, are you?”
“Well, no, but -”
“Ha, see?” Thom interrupted triumphantly. “Dead.”
“It's not dead, Thom,” Colin said, reaching for the book, which Ed held out of reach until the smaller boy gave up. “You two are such philistines. And since when aren't you taking it next year, Jon?” he added in an aside to his brother. “You ought to study one foreign language at least, and I know it's not going to be French...”
Jonny blushed. He was notoriously awful at French, something which had been a constant source of irritation to Colin, and was dreading exam results day and Colin's inevitable disappointment at his French marks. “It was Latin or psychology, Cozzie,” he said pleadingly. “And, well, I thought psychology would be more useful in the long run...” He trailed off under Colin's searching gaze, holding his breath until Colin nodded and gave him a fond smile.
“I'm glad you're thinking of your future, Jon,” he said, reaching over and ruffling Jonny's hair affectionately until the younger boy ducked up from under his arm and hid behind Phil.
“Psychology?” Thom said curiously, pulling a strand of green licorice from somewhere about his person and chewing thoughtfully on the end of it in between puffs from his cigarette. “Does that mean you're going to start psychoanalysing all of us?”
“No one needs to psychoanalyse you, we already know you're a nutter,” Ed put in without looking up from the Latin book. “Hey Jon, is there any sex in all this rubbish? I've forgotten most of my Latin.”
Thom stubbed the cigarette out on the wall of the next house they passed, looking over Ed's arm at the book and rolling his eyes. “There's never any sex, Ed. They don't put that stuff in the O-level books.”
“It's GCSEs now,” Jonny pointed out quietly, and Thom grinned.
“It's all the same thing. Anyway, yeah, they don't put sex in books for sixteen-year-olds, you're not supposed to know that stuff yet. I bet Jon-Jon doesn't, he's still pure as the driven snow, aren't you? You should see him, it's hysterical, every time a girl talks to him he practically falls through the floor in mortification...”
Colin punched him on the arm hard enough that Thom yelped in indignation. “That's my little brother you're talking about, watch it.” But his eyes had turned to Jonny, questioning. “What's this about girls, Jon? What girls?”
Jonny could have sworn that time slowed down in the few yards that they walked between Colin's question and his own answer. He looked down at his hands, clutching his blazer and tie and the strap of his bag, feeling the familiar sensation of colour rising in his cheeks. “It's nothing. Just some townies.”
Thom was half-howling with laughter. “They think it's funny to ask him out and see his reaction,” he explained, the string of partially chewed licorice hanging disgustingly out of the corner of his mouth. “They're a bunch of ugly slags, anyway. Nowhere near good enough for our Jon-Jon. Anyway, maybe you'll meet some girls who are worth it at Ed's party tonight, he knows all the laydeez.” He nudged Jonny's side with the point of one sharp elbow and Jonny squirmed away, knowing that Colin was still watching him.
They had reached the pond where they'd frequently hung out the previous summer, sheltered from the worst of the afternoon sun by tall, broad-leafed trees whose branches waved languidly in the gentlest of gentle breezes. In the shadows, the occasional silver flash of a timid fish could be seen; Thom and Jonny had been in the habit of feeding them bits of bread back in the spring, when boredom gave them nothing else to do.
“Why don't you chuck the bloody book away?” Ed suggested, holding it out with one long arm over the still surface of the water. “It's not like you need it any more, is it?”
“We could burn it,” Thom said encouragingly, sucking the end of the licorice through his lips like a strand of spaghetti and licking his sticky fingers.
“I don't believe you lot,” Colin said huffily, as Jonny jettisoned his schoolbag and blazer and sank to the ground at the foot of the wall around the pond and Ed continued to leaf through the Latin anthology. “Just because he's finished his course doesn't mean he should chuck away all his material. If you're going to discard things as soon as you've learned them you might as well not bother in the first place.”
Jonny silently considered jumping into the argument to point out that although he liked Latin he didn't exactly plan on committing everything he'd learned to memory, but since Colin always acted so hurt if Jonny backed up any of the others instead of him, he decided that it wasn't worth the trouble, especially since Colin was already so worked up over the stupid book. He picked up a stick and sketched a flower in the dirt at his feet, pretending that he wasn't listening to the others.
“It's paper, it's biodegradable, if that's what you're worried about,” Thom was saying, as he kicked off his battered trainers and clambered onto the wall so that he could throw stones and skim his bare toes in the water.
“I don't think any fish ever died from eating Latin,” Phil added helpfully
“Hey, this one's got lesbians in it,” Ed piped up, squinting at one dog-eared page, and Phil and Thom's attentions were diverted. “Catullus 5...” He put on a dramatic voice. “Vivamus mea Lesbia... my lesbians?”
Colin gave a loud, long-suffering sigh. “Edward, if you'd paid any attention in Latin at all, you'd know that was a singular and not a plural. Mea Lesbia... my Lesbia, Ed. It's a woman's name.”
Thom sniggered. “A dykey woman's name.”
“No, it's not,” Colin snapped, snatching the book from Ed's hands and clearing his throat. “Lesbia was the woman that Catullus was in love with, and a lot of people think she was actually a woman called Clodia, who was the wife of a Roman senator. In the poem he's urging her to disregard the rumours in the senate, saying that they should live only for each other, because they have so little time in the grand scheme of things. Here, listen...”
And as he began to read from the book, Jonny found himself pinned against the wall by the force of his brother's gaze, the passion in his voice matching the cold fire in his eyes as his lips and tongue formed the strange, foreign words.
“Vivamus mea Lesbia, atque amemus,
rumoresque senum severiorum
omnes unius aestimemus assis!
soles occidere et redire possunt:
nobis cum semel occidit brevis lux,
nox est perpetua una dormienda.
da mi basia mille, deinde centum,
dein mille altera, dein secunda centum,
deinde usque altera mille, deinde centum.
dein, cum milia multa fecerimus,
conturbabimus illa, ne sciamus,
aut ne quis malus inuidere possit,
cum tantum sciat esse basiorum.”
There was a brief silence after that; and then both Ed and Thom dissolved into helpless giggles.
“You're the gayest nerd that ever lived, Coz,” Thom informed Colin, jumping down off the wall, pulling on his trainers and grabbing hold of Jonny's arm to haul the younger boy to his feet. “Come on, up you get. Don't want to be late for the party, I know what you girls are like.” At which he and Ed started giggling again, and didn't stop until they had parted ways for their respective houses, leaving Colin and Jonny to complete the journey to their own home alone. Colin was cheerful enough, chatting away about things that went in one of Jonny's ears and out the other; but later, when they were home and Colin was fixing cold drinks and snacks for the pair of them, there was a calculated iciness to the hard glances he threw Jonny's way that left Jonny in no doubt of what that earlier display had been about. It was a warning; a warning to remember who he belonged to, to be certain that he wouldn't forget himself at the party. A reminder of where his loyalties lay.
The boy at the desk in front of him had red-blond hair that caught the sunshine like spun gold. He was tapping a rhythm against the table leg with the side of his shoe, and Jonny surreptitiously underlaid it with the syncopated beat of his biro on the edge of his pencil case. A bee was buzzing lazily around one of the light fittings; some students who had completed their papers were following its languorous path with dulled eyes and slack mouths, their blazers abandoned over the backs of chairs and their ties loosened in a futile attempt to cool down. The almost intolerable heat of the room was barely alleviated by the open door onto the playing field.
“Please stop writing now,” came the voice of the invigilator from the front desk, and like a ripple spreading on the surface of a stagnant pond, a shuffle and murmur echoed around the hall as a hundred pens were set down and a hundred answer booklets were closed. Jonny sat back, stretching out with legs extended and arms folded behind his head, until papers were collected and they were dismissed; and then he unfolded himself from his chair, Latin anthology clutched under one arm, gathering his schoolbag from the back of the hall and discarding blazer and tie even before he'd escaped through the door and was haring off across the field towards the wall, and the road, and summer.
A small group of older boys waited for him in the shade of one of the trees that lined the avenue in front of the school. They looked like the kind of group that boys of his age were warned about: a Bad Influence, the Scourge of Society, lackadaisical layabouts who would Come To a Bad End. Jonny, of course, knew better; those boys had been his only real friends for the past four years. There was his brother, heading the little welcome committee, and his insides gave an uneasy jolt at the duality of emotions that seeing Colin always stirred in him. Colin's hair had already grown long enough during his first year at university that their mother had threatened to take a pair of shears to it when they'd greeted him off the train in Oxford, and he was wearing a stripy boatneck top that he'd pilfered out of their sister's wardrobe. Jonny, at two and a half years younger, already had to bend down into the brief hug that they exchanged, relishing the comforting sensation of the slim hard body pressed up against his, the familiar scent that both calmed him and quickened his pulse in a way that made his stomach churn.
“Ahhhhh, little Jon-Jon, all grown up,” Thom snickered, hovering at Colin's elbow and shattering the moment. He was the only one of the group who'd watched Jonny's gradual metamorphosis in the past nine months from awkward, gangly teenager into something more self-assured, having taken a year out from school; his hair was the same red-gold as that of the boy who'd sat in front of Jonny, and it caught the sun in the same way. Philip, on the other hand, the oldest of their group, appeared to have lost even more up top, and was hiding the fact under an ill-advised Indian-style hat. Ed, someone that Jonny had always regarded with something approaching awe, was slightly fuzzy in a vague cloud of pot smoke, but less coolly aloof than he'd ever seemed before. This was the first time they'd all been together since Christmas, and Jonny could already sense the changes happening, giving him a pleasant tingle in his stomach.
“Leave the poor boy alone, Thom.” That was Ed, he and his awful bowl-cut looming large over the heads of the others; he leaned over and plucked the Latin anthology from Jonny's hands, snorting as he did so. “Just think about it, Jon – no more Latin, ever!”
As they began to drift towards the town centre, Ed flipped through the book, with Thom adding snide interjections whenever they came across something that amused them.
“I like Latin,” Jonny protested faintly, aware of Colin's presence bristling at Ed and Thom's attitude.
“Yeah, but, it's dead, isn't it?” Thom reasoned. He had a cigarette out now, pinned between short nailbitten fingers, dragging on it furiously as they walked. “You seriously aren't taking it next year, are you?”
“Well, no, but -”
“Ha, see?” Thom interrupted triumphantly. “Dead.”
“It's not dead, Thom,” Colin said, reaching for the book, which Ed held out of reach until the smaller boy gave up. “You two are such philistines. And since when aren't you taking it next year, Jon?” he added in an aside to his brother. “You ought to study one foreign language at least, and I know it's not going to be French...”
Jonny blushed. He was notoriously awful at French, something which had been a constant source of irritation to Colin, and was dreading exam results day and Colin's inevitable disappointment at his French marks. “It was Latin or psychology, Cozzie,” he said pleadingly. “And, well, I thought psychology would be more useful in the long run...” He trailed off under Colin's searching gaze, holding his breath until Colin nodded and gave him a fond smile.
“I'm glad you're thinking of your future, Jon,” he said, reaching over and ruffling Jonny's hair affectionately until the younger boy ducked up from under his arm and hid behind Phil.
“Psychology?” Thom said curiously, pulling a strand of green licorice from somewhere about his person and chewing thoughtfully on the end of it in between puffs from his cigarette. “Does that mean you're going to start psychoanalysing all of us?”
“No one needs to psychoanalyse you, we already know you're a nutter,” Ed put in without looking up from the Latin book. “Hey Jon, is there any sex in all this rubbish? I've forgotten most of my Latin.”
Thom stubbed the cigarette out on the wall of the next house they passed, looking over Ed's arm at the book and rolling his eyes. “There's never any sex, Ed. They don't put that stuff in the O-level books.”
“It's GCSEs now,” Jonny pointed out quietly, and Thom grinned.
“It's all the same thing. Anyway, yeah, they don't put sex in books for sixteen-year-olds, you're not supposed to know that stuff yet. I bet Jon-Jon doesn't, he's still pure as the driven snow, aren't you? You should see him, it's hysterical, every time a girl talks to him he practically falls through the floor in mortification...”
Colin punched him on the arm hard enough that Thom yelped in indignation. “That's my little brother you're talking about, watch it.” But his eyes had turned to Jonny, questioning. “What's this about girls, Jon? What girls?”
Jonny could have sworn that time slowed down in the few yards that they walked between Colin's question and his own answer. He looked down at his hands, clutching his blazer and tie and the strap of his bag, feeling the familiar sensation of colour rising in his cheeks. “It's nothing. Just some townies.”
Thom was half-howling with laughter. “They think it's funny to ask him out and see his reaction,” he explained, the string of partially chewed licorice hanging disgustingly out of the corner of his mouth. “They're a bunch of ugly slags, anyway. Nowhere near good enough for our Jon-Jon. Anyway, maybe you'll meet some girls who are worth it at Ed's party tonight, he knows all the laydeez.” He nudged Jonny's side with the point of one sharp elbow and Jonny squirmed away, knowing that Colin was still watching him.
They had reached the pond where they'd frequently hung out the previous summer, sheltered from the worst of the afternoon sun by tall, broad-leafed trees whose branches waved languidly in the gentlest of gentle breezes. In the shadows, the occasional silver flash of a timid fish could be seen; Thom and Jonny had been in the habit of feeding them bits of bread back in the spring, when boredom gave them nothing else to do.
“Why don't you chuck the bloody book away?” Ed suggested, holding it out with one long arm over the still surface of the water. “It's not like you need it any more, is it?”
“We could burn it,” Thom said encouragingly, sucking the end of the licorice through his lips like a strand of spaghetti and licking his sticky fingers.
“I don't believe you lot,” Colin said huffily, as Jonny jettisoned his schoolbag and blazer and sank to the ground at the foot of the wall around the pond and Ed continued to leaf through the Latin anthology. “Just because he's finished his course doesn't mean he should chuck away all his material. If you're going to discard things as soon as you've learned them you might as well not bother in the first place.”
Jonny silently considered jumping into the argument to point out that although he liked Latin he didn't exactly plan on committing everything he'd learned to memory, but since Colin always acted so hurt if Jonny backed up any of the others instead of him, he decided that it wasn't worth the trouble, especially since Colin was already so worked up over the stupid book. He picked up a stick and sketched a flower in the dirt at his feet, pretending that he wasn't listening to the others.
“It's paper, it's biodegradable, if that's what you're worried about,” Thom was saying, as he kicked off his battered trainers and clambered onto the wall so that he could throw stones and skim his bare toes in the water.
“I don't think any fish ever died from eating Latin,” Phil added helpfully
“Hey, this one's got lesbians in it,” Ed piped up, squinting at one dog-eared page, and Phil and Thom's attentions were diverted. “Catullus 5...” He put on a dramatic voice. “Vivamus mea Lesbia... my lesbians?”
Colin gave a loud, long-suffering sigh. “Edward, if you'd paid any attention in Latin at all, you'd know that was a singular and not a plural. Mea Lesbia... my Lesbia, Ed. It's a woman's name.”
Thom sniggered. “A dykey woman's name.”
“No, it's not,” Colin snapped, snatching the book from Ed's hands and clearing his throat. “Lesbia was the woman that Catullus was in love with, and a lot of people think she was actually a woman called Clodia, who was the wife of a Roman senator. In the poem he's urging her to disregard the rumours in the senate, saying that they should live only for each other, because they have so little time in the grand scheme of things. Here, listen...”
And as he began to read from the book, Jonny found himself pinned against the wall by the force of his brother's gaze, the passion in his voice matching the cold fire in his eyes as his lips and tongue formed the strange, foreign words.
“Vivamus mea Lesbia, atque amemus,
rumoresque senum severiorum
omnes unius aestimemus assis!
soles occidere et redire possunt:
nobis cum semel occidit brevis lux,
nox est perpetua una dormienda.
da mi basia mille, deinde centum,
dein mille altera, dein secunda centum,
deinde usque altera mille, deinde centum.
dein, cum milia multa fecerimus,
conturbabimus illa, ne sciamus,
aut ne quis malus inuidere possit,
cum tantum sciat esse basiorum.”
There was a brief silence after that; and then both Ed and Thom dissolved into helpless giggles.
“You're the gayest nerd that ever lived, Coz,” Thom informed Colin, jumping down off the wall, pulling on his trainers and grabbing hold of Jonny's arm to haul the younger boy to his feet. “Come on, up you get. Don't want to be late for the party, I know what you girls are like.” At which he and Ed started giggling again, and didn't stop until they had parted ways for their respective houses, leaving Colin and Jonny to complete the journey to their own home alone. Colin was cheerful enough, chatting away about things that went in one of Jonny's ears and out the other; but later, when they were home and Colin was fixing cold drinks and snacks for the pair of them, there was a calculated iciness to the hard glances he threw Jonny's way that left Jonny in no doubt of what that earlier display had been about. It was a warning; a warning to remember who he belonged to, to be certain that he wouldn't forget himself at the party. A reminder of where his loyalties lay.
Friday, February 20, 2009
I slowly push the bathroom door open. I peer around the frame to see my brother, eyes screwed shut, one hand on his cock. I move into the corner of the room and take a seat on the scales. He starts moving his hand up and down slowly. He moans as the water shimmers around his slender body. As he nears the edge his moans become louder and more frequent until he comes into the bathwater. He lies there, serene, unaware of anything. I see the bliss in his eyes. I don’t want to spoil it, so I leave quietly.
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Skype
“Skype? What’s that?” Colin asked, walking over to where Jonny was sitting in front of the screen. “You can make free calls to anyone who’s online,” Jonny answered, before turning his attention back to the screen. “Thom, say hi to Cozzie.” Colin draped his arm over his brother’s shoulder possessively as he eyed the camera. “Webcams, huh? You dirty boy,” he mocked, hearing Thom’s giggles coming from the speakers. “Let’s give him something better to watch,” Colin whispered in Jonny’s ear as he eyed the webcam seductively. Thom’s voice cut off mind-sentence when two sets of Greenwood lips slowly collided.
Thursday, February 5, 2009
A Collab in Three Parts That Has Yet To Be Named
[warning: contro]
Part One Of A Collab That Will Someday Hopefully Have A Name
“Your guitar?” Rob mumbled over a mouthful of Golden Grahams, without looking up from the telly.
“What?”
“Guitar. I thought you were leaving to go see Colin, who you’re in a band with. Maybe you’ll need your guitar this weekend.” Rob shoved in another spoonful of cereal.
“Right,” Ed said. “My guitar. Thanks.” He grabbed it from where it was leaning against the bed and put it in its case, long fingers snapping it shut.
“Anytime. Least I can do for letting me borrow your telly for the match tomorrow.”
“Just don’t get caught smoking in my room this time.”
“Hey! I’m a changed man from three weeks ago. I know the rules: No smoking in Ed’s room without Ed around to sweet talk our way out of trouble.”
Ed rolled his eyes. “Seriously, I don’t want to get back tomorrow night to find that I’ve been kicked out of school.”
Rob saluted in Ed’s general direction. “Aye, sir.” Ed grabbed his backpack and guitar and hurried to catch his train.
///
“Your toothbrush?” Mrs Greenwood said.
“What?”
“You’re going to see your brother this weekend and you need your toothbrush.”
“I was getting to that.” Jonny slid past his mother who hovering in the doorway. He walked down the hallway to grab his toothbrush from the bathroom sink, his mum two steps behind.
“No, you were trying to figure out how to carry all of your albums along with your guitar with no thought to the basic necessities like clean underwear and toothbrushes.”
Jonny waved the toothbrush at his mother. “It’s not like a toothbrush takes up any room.”
“Toothpaste.”
“Muuuuum, I can just borrow it from Colin. I spend the night at Thom’s house all the time, I know how to pack for an overnight trip.”
Jonny’s speech was rewarded with a crushing hug from his mother. He squirmed and whined, “If we don’t leave soon, I’m going to miss my train.” Jonny finally worked his way out of his mother’s arms, walked into his room and shoved his toothbrush down the side pocket of his overnight bag. He hoisted the heavy pack onto his shoulder and grabbed his guitar.
“I just can’t believe that my baby, my little Jonny, is going away by himself for the weekend.”
“Colin’s going to be there; it’s not like I’m on my own,” Jonny said, following his mum down the narrow stairs to car outside.
They drove in silence for the first part of the trip, but as soon as they were in view of the train station, she picked up where she had left off.
“Now, I know that your brother probably is going to take you out to the pubs and stuff, but I don’t want you out there drinking too much and getting robbed in some back alley.”
“Mum, I’m not stuuupid.”
“And if you’re brother is smoking cigarettes, I don’t want to hear about it and I don’t want you involved in that. Is that clear? If I find out you've smoked one cigarette, you're grounded until your birthday. Your 21st birthday!!”
Jonny rolled his eyes and opened his door.
“Jonathan?” she said sternly.
“I promise to not smoke cigarettes no matter how much Cozzie tries to tell me that it’s cool.”
“Or that, that! marijuana!”
“I’m going to be late.” Jonny firmly shut the car door and half-skipped into the train station.
///
Colin was waiting on the cold wooden bench when Ed’s train pulled up. Ed was always easy to spot, ducking as he exited the train. Colin stood up and waved at Ed, not wanting to give up his seat. Ed came over and plopped his stuff next to Colin, Colin sliding his backpack over to make room for Ed.
“Jonny not here yet?” Ed asked, carefully enunciating the name.
He and Colin shared a look.
“Mum rang a short bit ago to let me know that Jonny was on his train.” Colin checked his watch. “Probably be here in about 15 minutes.”
Ed settled back to wait. “Good.”
They waiting in silence as a couple more trains arrived and departed. Jonny's train arrived and Jonny was the first one off, looking thinning than normal as he lugged a huge bag and guitar. The two boys waved him over to their bench as Ed gathered his things.
Jonny hugged his brother and then grinned up at Ed. "I didn't know you were going to be here this weekend." His glance fell to the bench. "And you brought your guitar! Awesome!"
Ed looked at Colin, then answered Jonny with an "of course."
"Shall we head to my place?" Colin asked. They walked through the station and outside to the carpark. Colin dipped his hand into his bag, pulled out a box of cigarettes and opened it to Jonny.
"Thanks," Jonny said, grabbing one as he dug around in his jacket pocket to locate his lighter. He lit the cigarette and inhaled deeply. "Nothing is better than a smoke after a long train journey."
"Nothing?" Colin said, raising an eyebrow at his brother. Ed laughed.
Jonny felt like he had missed the joke. "So, what are we up to today," he asked to change the subject.
///
They dropped their bags off at Colin's room and Colin took them on a tour of campus, showing them some of the more historical buildings and entertaining them with stories about the sort of hijinks he and friends had gotten up to.
They stopped in Colin's favorite pub for an early dinner. Colin recommended the vegetable lasagne, so Jonny and Ed decided to split a pepperoni pizza. After their meal, Colin lit up a cigarette, leaned back in his chair and seemingly out of no where asked Jonny, "So, you've got a girlfriend yet?"
Jonny blushed. "You know I don't like girls." He started tearing his pizza crust into little bits.
"Boys, then, like your brother," Ed said, reaching across the table to ruffle Colin's hair.
"You're one to fucking talk," Colin said to Ed, smoothing his hair back into place. Ed smiled widely at Colin.
"Not boys, either," Jonny mumbled to his plate. "You know, if I wanted to be harassed, I could have stayed at home. At least Mum has the decency to mind her own business about my private life."
"Jonny, relax. We're just curious," Ed said. "We could probably find you a bird for tonight."
Jonny blushed an even deeper red and tried to say something, but nothing came out.
Colin put his arm around Jonny. "Edward, be nice. If Jonny has no interest in this, we can leave him to his monkish life."
"I'm not a monk," Jonny said. "For your information, I've kissed plenty of girls."
"You have not," Colin said.
"Well, I could have if I wanted to, but I didn't want to."
"You told Thom over Christmas break that you were afraid you were going to die a virgin."
Jonny stared at Colin. "That was private! Thom wasn't supposed to talk to your stupid face."
Colin continued calmly. "He said he offered to set you up with Angela Jones and you refused."
"Angie?" Ed chimed in. "She has always been a bit of a slut. She was my first kiss and gave me my first blowjob." Ed nodded to himself.
"What?!" Colin exclaimed. "You never told me that!" He spat on the floor. "That's disgusting. The places your cock has been."
Ed shrugged. "I'd claim that it was my way with the ladies, but really I was so drunk I don't remember much except promising her that it wouldn't taste that bad." Ed laughed. Both the Greenwoods looked sort of ill.
"See!" Jonny said. "I don't want my first time to be like that."
"It won't be," Ed said smiling at him.
"Thank you," Jonny said. "Can we go now?"
They got up and headed back to Colin's room, Jonny saying little and walking a few steps behind Ed and Colin. They tried to include him in their conversation, but he stubbornly refused to cooperate.
Part One Of A Collab That Will Someday Hopefully Have A Name
“Your guitar?” Rob mumbled over a mouthful of Golden Grahams, without looking up from the telly.
“What?”
“Guitar. I thought you were leaving to go see Colin, who you’re in a band with. Maybe you’ll need your guitar this weekend.” Rob shoved in another spoonful of cereal.
“Right,” Ed said. “My guitar. Thanks.” He grabbed it from where it was leaning against the bed and put it in its case, long fingers snapping it shut.
“Anytime. Least I can do for letting me borrow your telly for the match tomorrow.”
“Just don’t get caught smoking in my room this time.”
“Hey! I’m a changed man from three weeks ago. I know the rules: No smoking in Ed’s room without Ed around to sweet talk our way out of trouble.”
Ed rolled his eyes. “Seriously, I don’t want to get back tomorrow night to find that I’ve been kicked out of school.”
Rob saluted in Ed’s general direction. “Aye, sir.” Ed grabbed his backpack and guitar and hurried to catch his train.
///
“Your toothbrush?” Mrs Greenwood said.
“What?”
“You’re going to see your brother this weekend and you need your toothbrush.”
“I was getting to that.” Jonny slid past his mother who hovering in the doorway. He walked down the hallway to grab his toothbrush from the bathroom sink, his mum two steps behind.
“No, you were trying to figure out how to carry all of your albums along with your guitar with no thought to the basic necessities like clean underwear and toothbrushes.”
Jonny waved the toothbrush at his mother. “It’s not like a toothbrush takes up any room.”
“Toothpaste.”
“Muuuuum, I can just borrow it from Colin. I spend the night at Thom’s house all the time, I know how to pack for an overnight trip.”
Jonny’s speech was rewarded with a crushing hug from his mother. He squirmed and whined, “If we don’t leave soon, I’m going to miss my train.” Jonny finally worked his way out of his mother’s arms, walked into his room and shoved his toothbrush down the side pocket of his overnight bag. He hoisted the heavy pack onto his shoulder and grabbed his guitar.
“I just can’t believe that my baby, my little Jonny, is going away by himself for the weekend.”
“Colin’s going to be there; it’s not like I’m on my own,” Jonny said, following his mum down the narrow stairs to car outside.
They drove in silence for the first part of the trip, but as soon as they were in view of the train station, she picked up where she had left off.
“Now, I know that your brother probably is going to take you out to the pubs and stuff, but I don’t want you out there drinking too much and getting robbed in some back alley.”
“Mum, I’m not stuuupid.”
“And if you’re brother is smoking cigarettes, I don’t want to hear about it and I don’t want you involved in that. Is that clear? If I find out you've smoked one cigarette, you're grounded until your birthday. Your 21st birthday!!”
Jonny rolled his eyes and opened his door.
“Jonathan?” she said sternly.
“I promise to not smoke cigarettes no matter how much Cozzie tries to tell me that it’s cool.”
“Or that, that! marijuana!”
“I’m going to be late.” Jonny firmly shut the car door and half-skipped into the train station.
///
Colin was waiting on the cold wooden bench when Ed’s train pulled up. Ed was always easy to spot, ducking as he exited the train. Colin stood up and waved at Ed, not wanting to give up his seat. Ed came over and plopped his stuff next to Colin, Colin sliding his backpack over to make room for Ed.
“Jonny not here yet?” Ed asked, carefully enunciating the name.
He and Colin shared a look.
“Mum rang a short bit ago to let me know that Jonny was on his train.” Colin checked his watch. “Probably be here in about 15 minutes.”
Ed settled back to wait. “Good.”
They waiting in silence as a couple more trains arrived and departed. Jonny's train arrived and Jonny was the first one off, looking thinning than normal as he lugged a huge bag and guitar. The two boys waved him over to their bench as Ed gathered his things.
Jonny hugged his brother and then grinned up at Ed. "I didn't know you were going to be here this weekend." His glance fell to the bench. "And you brought your guitar! Awesome!"
Ed looked at Colin, then answered Jonny with an "of course."
"Shall we head to my place?" Colin asked. They walked through the station and outside to the carpark. Colin dipped his hand into his bag, pulled out a box of cigarettes and opened it to Jonny.
"Thanks," Jonny said, grabbing one as he dug around in his jacket pocket to locate his lighter. He lit the cigarette and inhaled deeply. "Nothing is better than a smoke after a long train journey."
"Nothing?" Colin said, raising an eyebrow at his brother. Ed laughed.
Jonny felt like he had missed the joke. "So, what are we up to today," he asked to change the subject.
///
They dropped their bags off at Colin's room and Colin took them on a tour of campus, showing them some of the more historical buildings and entertaining them with stories about the sort of hijinks he and friends had gotten up to.
They stopped in Colin's favorite pub for an early dinner. Colin recommended the vegetable lasagne, so Jonny and Ed decided to split a pepperoni pizza. After their meal, Colin lit up a cigarette, leaned back in his chair and seemingly out of no where asked Jonny, "So, you've got a girlfriend yet?"
Jonny blushed. "You know I don't like girls." He started tearing his pizza crust into little bits.
"Boys, then, like your brother," Ed said, reaching across the table to ruffle Colin's hair.
"You're one to fucking talk," Colin said to Ed, smoothing his hair back into place. Ed smiled widely at Colin.
"Not boys, either," Jonny mumbled to his plate. "You know, if I wanted to be harassed, I could have stayed at home. At least Mum has the decency to mind her own business about my private life."
"Jonny, relax. We're just curious," Ed said. "We could probably find you a bird for tonight."
Jonny blushed an even deeper red and tried to say something, but nothing came out.
Colin put his arm around Jonny. "Edward, be nice. If Jonny has no interest in this, we can leave him to his monkish life."
"I'm not a monk," Jonny said. "For your information, I've kissed plenty of girls."
"You have not," Colin said.
"Well, I could have if I wanted to, but I didn't want to."
"You told Thom over Christmas break that you were afraid you were going to die a virgin."
Jonny stared at Colin. "That was private! Thom wasn't supposed to talk to your stupid face."
Colin continued calmly. "He said he offered to set you up with Angela Jones and you refused."
"Angie?" Ed chimed in. "She has always been a bit of a slut. She was my first kiss and gave me my first blowjob." Ed nodded to himself.
"What?!" Colin exclaimed. "You never told me that!" He spat on the floor. "That's disgusting. The places your cock has been."
Ed shrugged. "I'd claim that it was my way with the ladies, but really I was so drunk I don't remember much except promising her that it wouldn't taste that bad." Ed laughed. Both the Greenwoods looked sort of ill.
"See!" Jonny said. "I don't want my first time to be like that."
"It won't be," Ed said smiling at him.
"Thank you," Jonny said. "Can we go now?"
They got up and headed back to Colin's room, Jonny saying little and walking a few steps behind Ed and Colin. They tried to include him in their conversation, but he stubbornly refused to cooperate.
The Second Part Of A Collab That Will Someday Hopefully Have A Name, In Which Jonny Gets a Proposal
Colin's room had very thin walls, Jonny thought, as he curled his legs underneath him on the narrow bed and tried to ignore the high-pitched moans of the girl next door and the rhythmic banging of the headboard on the shared partition. He sipped a bit at the drink Colin had poured for him and grimaced. It was his third glass now, and it really didn't taste very much like orange juice, to be honest, although Colin had assured him that it was just rather cheap - he was a student, after all - before slipping out to the shop down the street, ostensibly to buy some more food. It occurred to Jonny that he'd been gone an awful long time for fetching a loaf of bread and some biscuits.
That left Jonny and Ed behind in Colin's room. Alone.
Jonny didn't really know what to say to Ed. As far as he knew, they didn't have very much in common, except for Colin - not that Ed would know about that, of course, unless Colin was spilling more of their secrets to undeserving ears, and in any case... well. He didn't know, it might be perfectly normal for an older brother to teach his younger sibling to kiss... or to wank... or any number of the things Colin had enlightened him to over the years. Jonny had always had a vague idea that Colin was slightly odd (he was pretty sure Thom had never done any of those things for Andy, for example), but that was just Colin. Open, selfless, generous, and completely shameless.
But he knew that Ed had been on sports teams at school, whereas Jonny couldn't even kick a ball in the right direction; he knew that Ed had been in the drama club and had seen him in a few school plays, whereas Jonny was shy enough that the mere idea of getting up on stage and talking was utterly mortifying; and he knew that Ed was handsome and well-liked and popular with everyone. It wasn't that Jonny was unpopular by any means, but Ed seemed to like being surrounded by people, all hanging on his every word, and that kind of attention had never appealed to Jonny.
So he was really at a loss for what to say to break the silence that had fallen over the room. Ed was flicking through a dirty magazine that had been in Colin's desk drawer, and Jonny blushed a little at some of the things he could see upside-down from his vantage point. Did Colin like that sort of thing, he wondered. He'd never talked about things like that - Ed squinted at a particularly flexible double-page spread and adjusted the crotch of his jeans, as though Jonny wasn't even in the room - when he and Jonny had discussed sex; it was all about what Jonny was interested in, what Jonny liked, or what Jonny thought he would like, because after all he really hadn't done anything of note in his sixteen years.
He blinked, a hot flush rising in his cheeks, as Ed shifted in his seat and the bulge in his trousers became very evident. Ed was... he... well, if Colin was getting that on a regular basis, no wonder he'd not had much time for Jonny this year.
"It won't be," Ed said smiling at him.
What had Ed meant by that? All those little nudges and winks between him and Colin, the whispered asides during their meal that Jonny hadn't been able to hear although they were done in plain view of him, and now Colin rushing off and leaving them alone like this, and Ed... Jonny wasn't stupid. Was Ed trying to seduce him? His initial thought was that the idea was ridiculous, because Colin would never let him, but on second thought Colin liked to share, and he was fiercely protective of Jonny and if there was any way that Colin was going to ensure Jonny's first time was everything he wanted it to be, it would be to leave him in Ed's very large and very capable hands.
Those hands which had not turned the page in the last three minutes Jonny had unconsciously been staring at them.
He jumped, and spilled half a glass of probably-not-just-orange-juice down his shirt. Ed was smiling at him in a very knowing way, the sort of way that said, "Crawl across the floor and suck me off right now, I know you want to." The sort of way that said, "I'm imagining you naked right now." The sort of way that when he actually said, "Colin wants me to be your first time, Jon", Jonny had to pinch his own arm hard to assure himself that he hadn't been imagining it.
The Third Part Of A Collab That Will Someday Hopefully Have A Name, In Which Jonny May or May Not Accept A Proposal
Jonny was still staring at Ed as Ed grabbed a roll of paper towels off the desk and walked over and sat on the bed next to Jonny, unrolling a handful and dabbing up the spilled orange juice from Jonny's shirt and where it had pooled in his lap.
Jonny sat perfectly still and made no move to assist in the clean up. He had no idea what to say. What does one say in a situation like this? He was conscious of the gentle way Ed was pressing against his chest, how he could hear Ed breathing, of how near Ed was.
As if Ed was reading his thoughts, Ed leaned to the side of Jonny and whispered a quiet "So, what do you think?" Ed's lips just inches from Jonny's ear.
"I don't know," Jonny confessed, even as the voice in his head was saying, "yes, yes, yes."
Jonny felt cool air on his stomach as his shirt was lifted up; Jonny automatically raised his arms to help. Ed got the shirt off and easily tossed it to the other side of the room. Jonny felt a large hand grasp the back of his head as another hand circled his waist and Ed was leaning in, tilting his head, closing his eyes, placing his lips on Jonny's lips. Oooh. Jonny felt his heart beating fast and he was afraid to move, worried that he would do something, ruin the moment. Ed's tongue was demanding entry between Jonny's clenched jaw and Jonny opened his mouth slightly and felt the alien feeling of another's tongue in his mouth. The feeling was odd and Jonny was scarcely aware of anything else: barely aware he way he was reciprocating his tongue in Ed's mouth, barely aware the building of pressure in his trousers.
Ed pulled back, Jonny arching his neck forward to try and keep contact. "What do you think now?" Ed asked.
"Yeth?" Jonny answered, afraid to go forward, too curious, too turned on not to. Ed's arm reached out to the desk and he opened a side drawer and grabbed out a tube, nonchalantly laying it on the bed next to his thigh.
Jonny froze again, his eyes glued to the lubricate and the realization of what he had just agreed to.
"It's ok," Ed said, lifting Jonny's chin with one hand to lick and kiss along his jawline. "I'll take good care of you." Jonny trusted what he had said and let himself be pushed back on Colin's bed, Ed on top of him, a comforting weight.
This time when Ed pressed his lips to Jonny's, Jonny found himself kissing back instantly. Ed slid to the side of Jonny, unbuttoned his trousers and slid his hand down, fingernails lightly raking across skin, his mouth never losing contact with Jonny's mouth.
The sound of a key in the lock startled Jonny out of the moment and he whirled his head to look at the door. "Just Colin," Ed said and used his free hand to turn Jonny's head back to him.
Colin, unsteady on his feet, surveyed the scene. "I was gone for three drinks; I thought you'd be done by now. You've barely started. I'll just go back out for another few drinks, I suppose." He turned to leave.
"Stay!" Jonny called out desperately to Colin's back. Realizing how he sounded, he tried to cover it up. "I mean, I don't care if you're here." For a split second, he wondered if Ed was going to be mad at him for saying that, but if Ed had any idea how good the sensation of Ed's fingers closing around Jonny's cock right then felt, he must have approved of the idea.
Colin closed the door with a heavy swing came and sat in an ungraceful plop onto the bed. He pointed at Ed. "You have far too many clothes on." Ed obediently slid off the bed to start taking off his shoes.
He turned to Jonny. "You, too. I know you're new at this, but I thought you'd have the basics down."
Jonny pulled his feet up and put them in Colin's lap, just as he used to do when they were little boys and Jonny wanted Colin to tie his shoes for him. Colin fumbled with the knots and eventually settled for just pulling off Jonny's shoes. Jonny moved his legs back to where they had started and brazenly pulled Colin down into a kiss. Colin kissed back and then broke off with a laugh. "Fast learner. Or maybe you're just an easy drunk."
Ed rejoined them on the bed, knelt by Jonny's hips and finished taking off Jonny's pants and trousers leaving Jonny laying naked on the bed, exposed and aroused. Ed then maneuvered his way so he was kneeling in between Jonny's bent legs. He applied the lube to his hands and gave Jonny's cock a few strokes before slowly sliding a finger up Jonny. Jonny had sort of known that it was coming - Colin was free with his discussions of such things - but Colin hadn't explained how it felt and Jonny wasn't entirely sure that he liked this. That wasn't quite right: he wasn't sure that he liked that he liked it so much.
Colin saw his discomfort and began running his fingers up and down Jonny's chest, as if he was counting and recounting ribs. "Are you ok?" he asked and Jonny nodded. He felt Ed grab his ankles and pull them up to Ed's shoulders. Then Jonny didn't feel anything but the sensation of Ed pushing into him.
"It hurts," Jonny desperately said to Colin.
Colin smoothed back Jonny's hair from his forehead. "It's ok. Relax." Colin reached a hand down and gave Jonny's cock a few strokes. "Better?" he asked and Jonny nodded. He should have said better and better because as much as having Ed inside of him hurt, it also felt good ... better than good. Amaaaaaazing, even, as his brother was fond of saying.
Jonny breathing increased and he heard unbidden soft moans coming from his own throat. "That's it," Ed was saying. "Yes, yes." Colin crawled down the bed and wrapped his mouth around Jonny's cock. With a small cry and a shudder, Jonny was coming into Colin mouth.
Colin raised himself up and pulled Ed closer to him, locking their lips together.
And as Ed tasted Jonny from Colin's mouth, he too came.
Colin's room had very thin walls, Jonny thought, as he curled his legs underneath him on the narrow bed and tried to ignore the high-pitched moans of the girl next door and the rhythmic banging of the headboard on the shared partition. He sipped a bit at the drink Colin had poured for him and grimaced. It was his third glass now, and it really didn't taste very much like orange juice, to be honest, although Colin had assured him that it was just rather cheap - he was a student, after all - before slipping out to the shop down the street, ostensibly to buy some more food. It occurred to Jonny that he'd been gone an awful long time for fetching a loaf of bread and some biscuits.
That left Jonny and Ed behind in Colin's room. Alone.
Jonny didn't really know what to say to Ed. As far as he knew, they didn't have very much in common, except for Colin - not that Ed would know about that, of course, unless Colin was spilling more of their secrets to undeserving ears, and in any case... well. He didn't know, it might be perfectly normal for an older brother to teach his younger sibling to kiss... or to wank... or any number of the things Colin had enlightened him to over the years. Jonny had always had a vague idea that Colin was slightly odd (he was pretty sure Thom had never done any of those things for Andy, for example), but that was just Colin. Open, selfless, generous, and completely shameless.
But he knew that Ed had been on sports teams at school, whereas Jonny couldn't even kick a ball in the right direction; he knew that Ed had been in the drama club and had seen him in a few school plays, whereas Jonny was shy enough that the mere idea of getting up on stage and talking was utterly mortifying; and he knew that Ed was handsome and well-liked and popular with everyone. It wasn't that Jonny was unpopular by any means, but Ed seemed to like being surrounded by people, all hanging on his every word, and that kind of attention had never appealed to Jonny.
So he was really at a loss for what to say to break the silence that had fallen over the room. Ed was flicking through a dirty magazine that had been in Colin's desk drawer, and Jonny blushed a little at some of the things he could see upside-down from his vantage point. Did Colin like that sort of thing, he wondered. He'd never talked about things like that - Ed squinted at a particularly flexible double-page spread and adjusted the crotch of his jeans, as though Jonny wasn't even in the room - when he and Jonny had discussed sex; it was all about what Jonny was interested in, what Jonny liked, or what Jonny thought he would like, because after all he really hadn't done anything of note in his sixteen years.
He blinked, a hot flush rising in his cheeks, as Ed shifted in his seat and the bulge in his trousers became very evident. Ed was... he... well, if Colin was getting that on a regular basis, no wonder he'd not had much time for Jonny this year.
"It won't be," Ed said smiling at him.
What had Ed meant by that? All those little nudges and winks between him and Colin, the whispered asides during their meal that Jonny hadn't been able to hear although they were done in plain view of him, and now Colin rushing off and leaving them alone like this, and Ed... Jonny wasn't stupid. Was Ed trying to seduce him? His initial thought was that the idea was ridiculous, because Colin would never let him, but on second thought Colin liked to share, and he was fiercely protective of Jonny and if there was any way that Colin was going to ensure Jonny's first time was everything he wanted it to be, it would be to leave him in Ed's very large and very capable hands.
Those hands which had not turned the page in the last three minutes Jonny had unconsciously been staring at them.
He jumped, and spilled half a glass of probably-not-just-orange-juice down his shirt. Ed was smiling at him in a very knowing way, the sort of way that said, "Crawl across the floor and suck me off right now, I know you want to." The sort of way that said, "I'm imagining you naked right now." The sort of way that when he actually said, "Colin wants me to be your first time, Jon", Jonny had to pinch his own arm hard to assure himself that he hadn't been imagining it.
The Third Part Of A Collab That Will Someday Hopefully Have A Name, In Which Jonny May or May Not Accept A Proposal
Jonny was still staring at Ed as Ed grabbed a roll of paper towels off the desk and walked over and sat on the bed next to Jonny, unrolling a handful and dabbing up the spilled orange juice from Jonny's shirt and where it had pooled in his lap.
Jonny sat perfectly still and made no move to assist in the clean up. He had no idea what to say. What does one say in a situation like this? He was conscious of the gentle way Ed was pressing against his chest, how he could hear Ed breathing, of how near Ed was.
As if Ed was reading his thoughts, Ed leaned to the side of Jonny and whispered a quiet "So, what do you think?" Ed's lips just inches from Jonny's ear.
"I don't know," Jonny confessed, even as the voice in his head was saying, "yes, yes, yes."
Jonny felt cool air on his stomach as his shirt was lifted up; Jonny automatically raised his arms to help. Ed got the shirt off and easily tossed it to the other side of the room. Jonny felt a large hand grasp the back of his head as another hand circled his waist and Ed was leaning in, tilting his head, closing his eyes, placing his lips on Jonny's lips. Oooh. Jonny felt his heart beating fast and he was afraid to move, worried that he would do something, ruin the moment. Ed's tongue was demanding entry between Jonny's clenched jaw and Jonny opened his mouth slightly and felt the alien feeling of another's tongue in his mouth. The feeling was odd and Jonny was scarcely aware of anything else: barely aware he way he was reciprocating his tongue in Ed's mouth, barely aware the building of pressure in his trousers.
Ed pulled back, Jonny arching his neck forward to try and keep contact. "What do you think now?" Ed asked.
"Yeth?" Jonny answered, afraid to go forward, too curious, too turned on not to. Ed's arm reached out to the desk and he opened a side drawer and grabbed out a tube, nonchalantly laying it on the bed next to his thigh.
Jonny froze again, his eyes glued to the lubricate and the realization of what he had just agreed to.
"It's ok," Ed said, lifting Jonny's chin with one hand to lick and kiss along his jawline. "I'll take good care of you." Jonny trusted what he had said and let himself be pushed back on Colin's bed, Ed on top of him, a comforting weight.
This time when Ed pressed his lips to Jonny's, Jonny found himself kissing back instantly. Ed slid to the side of Jonny, unbuttoned his trousers and slid his hand down, fingernails lightly raking across skin, his mouth never losing contact with Jonny's mouth.
The sound of a key in the lock startled Jonny out of the moment and he whirled his head to look at the door. "Just Colin," Ed said and used his free hand to turn Jonny's head back to him.
Colin, unsteady on his feet, surveyed the scene. "I was gone for three drinks; I thought you'd be done by now. You've barely started. I'll just go back out for another few drinks, I suppose." He turned to leave.
"Stay!" Jonny called out desperately to Colin's back. Realizing how he sounded, he tried to cover it up. "I mean, I don't care if you're here." For a split second, he wondered if Ed was going to be mad at him for saying that, but if Ed had any idea how good the sensation of Ed's fingers closing around Jonny's cock right then felt, he must have approved of the idea.
Colin closed the door with a heavy swing came and sat in an ungraceful plop onto the bed. He pointed at Ed. "You have far too many clothes on." Ed obediently slid off the bed to start taking off his shoes.
He turned to Jonny. "You, too. I know you're new at this, but I thought you'd have the basics down."
Jonny pulled his feet up and put them in Colin's lap, just as he used to do when they were little boys and Jonny wanted Colin to tie his shoes for him. Colin fumbled with the knots and eventually settled for just pulling off Jonny's shoes. Jonny moved his legs back to where they had started and brazenly pulled Colin down into a kiss. Colin kissed back and then broke off with a laugh. "Fast learner. Or maybe you're just an easy drunk."
Ed rejoined them on the bed, knelt by Jonny's hips and finished taking off Jonny's pants and trousers leaving Jonny laying naked on the bed, exposed and aroused. Ed then maneuvered his way so he was kneeling in between Jonny's bent legs. He applied the lube to his hands and gave Jonny's cock a few strokes before slowly sliding a finger up Jonny. Jonny had sort of known that it was coming - Colin was free with his discussions of such things - but Colin hadn't explained how it felt and Jonny wasn't entirely sure that he liked this. That wasn't quite right: he wasn't sure that he liked that he liked it so much.
Colin saw his discomfort and began running his fingers up and down Jonny's chest, as if he was counting and recounting ribs. "Are you ok?" he asked and Jonny nodded. He felt Ed grab his ankles and pull them up to Ed's shoulders. Then Jonny didn't feel anything but the sensation of Ed pushing into him.
"It hurts," Jonny desperately said to Colin.
Colin smoothed back Jonny's hair from his forehead. "It's ok. Relax." Colin reached a hand down and gave Jonny's cock a few strokes. "Better?" he asked and Jonny nodded. He should have said better and better because as much as having Ed inside of him hurt, it also felt good ... better than good. Amaaaaaazing, even, as his brother was fond of saying.
Jonny breathing increased and he heard unbidden soft moans coming from his own throat. "That's it," Ed was saying. "Yes, yes." Colin crawled down the bed and wrapped his mouth around Jonny's cock. With a small cry and a shudder, Jonny was coming into Colin mouth.
Colin raised himself up and pulled Ed closer to him, locking their lips together.
And as Ed tasted Jonny from Colin's mouth, he too came.
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
The One That I Want
[warning: contro]
Colin must be the best brother in the universe. There are millions of things that could vouch for him to earn that title, but the following is something special. I know that we can’t ever tell anyone what happened, but I’ll always have the knowledge that he’d do anything for me.
That time, I actually was the one that had come to him. At four in the morning, after that party at Ed’s. I had told him, between tears and chokes, that we had kissed, me and Thom. That the moment our lips parted he had told me he was seeing someone. A girl he’d met. After two years of denial, hope, nerves, lust, cowardice and finally courage, my world had been reduced to zero.
Colin was the one I could turn to. Of course. At four in the morning, he had been the one soothing me, not by telling me what a bastard that Yorke was. Not by telling me I was still so young and I’d meet tons of other brilliant people. Not by patting my back and handing me another beer. No, he’d taken me in his arms. He hadn’t said a word, just pulled me in a hug, and I had clung to him as if there was no tomorrow. Because there really wasn’t.
Colin knew me. Because he knew himself. We’re too much alike, we are. There are siblings who have entirely different characters, can’t even manage to choose a movie together. Not us. He knew what I needed, and in hindsight it may not have been the best option there was, but it felt like it was back then.
We were still hugging tightly when I felt his hands wander over my back, soothing. We were both sitting on the edge of his bed, turned to each other, one knee pulled up on the bed. The hands became more persistent, carefully pressing down whilst caressing every inch of my back. One hand moved down, then traveled over my hipbone to my thigh. Warm breath tickled my ear when a soft voice spoke.
“He really hurt you, didn’t he.”
A few fresh tears sprung from my eyes as I nodded, wiping at my cheeks. He really had. Colin’s cheek briefly touched mine, and that one gesture somehow made everything better. It soothed me more than words could have done. I pulled him closer to me, hugged him tighter, and whispered a ‘thank you’ that was little more than a breath. At that, his hand found the bare skin under my T-shirt and started drawing little circles, barely touching. It was strangely exciting, but I blamed it on myself. Until he spoke again.
“You’re so tense. So frustrated.”
I knew what he was talking about the moment I felt his lips on my jaw and his left hand on my stomach. And he was right, I was frustrated. I still had such a high from that kiss. The hands and lips traveling over my body were hitting all the right spots at exactly the right pace, and I answered by lifting my head up, so he had better access to my neck. Colin didn’t hesitate and soon I felt a wet tongue trailing over my skin. I slowly let go of him, my eyes shut and eyebrows furrowed, panting heavily.
“I know, Jonny. I know what it’s like. Let me make it better.”
He crawled over me as I leaned back, never entirely losing contact with my body, which was pleasantly ignoring my brain, screaming for us to stop. The words he then said to me were the ones that pulled me over, made me give in.
“Just pretend I’m him.”
And so I did.
At twenty past four in the morning, our mouths sought and found each other, and it wasn’t all that different from the hour before. Only when I pulled away this time, there were no lame excuses, no apologies, no leaving me behind against the back wall of the garden shed. There were only soft understanding hands, moving over all the right places, all the places Thom had touched in my mind. My mind, that was having a hard time separating reality from fantasy, and when a hand undid my trousers I could’ve sworn it was Thom’s. Keeping my eyes firmly shut, I let physical pleasure take over.
It wasn’t long before a skilled tongue started licking around my by then straining erection, and in the pitch dark behind my eyes I could see Thom down there, looking up at me from under blond strands of hair, a deviant smirk on his face. My moaning was answered by the mouth engulfing me completely, sucking me off hard. I didn’t last long, and arched my back whilst crying out from behind my own hand.
But Colin wasn’t finished; he coated himself with my come and ripped off my jeans and socks. Too tired from the afterglow, I could only watch with a frown, realisation dawning on me only when he put two slick fingers in me. I wanted to say many things, but all I could do was gasp at the alien sensation. When after a few moments the fingers were replaced by a hard cock my eyes squeezed shut again, and I didn’t think of protesting any longer. It was Thom who was fucking me. It was Thom’s hand that held onto my hip as the other wrapped around my hardening cock, still so sensitive from orgasm. Those lips against my neck were Thom’s, the heavy breathing was his. He was picking up speed, filling me up again and again, hip bone scraping hip bone in frantic movement. I started pushing back, arching my back every time he came down, and both of us didn’t last long, me coming for the second time that night, Thom’s name on my lips, my own hanging in the air.
The next morning I woke up alone. Colin was asleep in the other bed, his back turned to me. Despite feeling so grateful for having a brother like him, he couldn’t help the fact that he just wasn’t the boy it was supposed to be. He just wasn’t Thom. I clutched the sheets until my knuckles turned white, but couldn’t stop the tears from flowing. I silently cried myself back to sleep, my head a complicated mixture of overwhelming gratitude and love sickness.
Colin must be the best brother in the universe. There are millions of things that could vouch for him to earn that title, but the following is something special. I know that we can’t ever tell anyone what happened, but I’ll always have the knowledge that he’d do anything for me.
That time, I actually was the one that had come to him. At four in the morning, after that party at Ed’s. I had told him, between tears and chokes, that we had kissed, me and Thom. That the moment our lips parted he had told me he was seeing someone. A girl he’d met. After two years of denial, hope, nerves, lust, cowardice and finally courage, my world had been reduced to zero.
Colin was the one I could turn to. Of course. At four in the morning, he had been the one soothing me, not by telling me what a bastard that Yorke was. Not by telling me I was still so young and I’d meet tons of other brilliant people. Not by patting my back and handing me another beer. No, he’d taken me in his arms. He hadn’t said a word, just pulled me in a hug, and I had clung to him as if there was no tomorrow. Because there really wasn’t.
Colin knew me. Because he knew himself. We’re too much alike, we are. There are siblings who have entirely different characters, can’t even manage to choose a movie together. Not us. He knew what I needed, and in hindsight it may not have been the best option there was, but it felt like it was back then.
We were still hugging tightly when I felt his hands wander over my back, soothing. We were both sitting on the edge of his bed, turned to each other, one knee pulled up on the bed. The hands became more persistent, carefully pressing down whilst caressing every inch of my back. One hand moved down, then traveled over my hipbone to my thigh. Warm breath tickled my ear when a soft voice spoke.
“He really hurt you, didn’t he.”
A few fresh tears sprung from my eyes as I nodded, wiping at my cheeks. He really had. Colin’s cheek briefly touched mine, and that one gesture somehow made everything better. It soothed me more than words could have done. I pulled him closer to me, hugged him tighter, and whispered a ‘thank you’ that was little more than a breath. At that, his hand found the bare skin under my T-shirt and started drawing little circles, barely touching. It was strangely exciting, but I blamed it on myself. Until he spoke again.
“You’re so tense. So frustrated.”
I knew what he was talking about the moment I felt his lips on my jaw and his left hand on my stomach. And he was right, I was frustrated. I still had such a high from that kiss. The hands and lips traveling over my body were hitting all the right spots at exactly the right pace, and I answered by lifting my head up, so he had better access to my neck. Colin didn’t hesitate and soon I felt a wet tongue trailing over my skin. I slowly let go of him, my eyes shut and eyebrows furrowed, panting heavily.
“I know, Jonny. I know what it’s like. Let me make it better.”
He crawled over me as I leaned back, never entirely losing contact with my body, which was pleasantly ignoring my brain, screaming for us to stop. The words he then said to me were the ones that pulled me over, made me give in.
“Just pretend I’m him.”
And so I did.
At twenty past four in the morning, our mouths sought and found each other, and it wasn’t all that different from the hour before. Only when I pulled away this time, there were no lame excuses, no apologies, no leaving me behind against the back wall of the garden shed. There were only soft understanding hands, moving over all the right places, all the places Thom had touched in my mind. My mind, that was having a hard time separating reality from fantasy, and when a hand undid my trousers I could’ve sworn it was Thom’s. Keeping my eyes firmly shut, I let physical pleasure take over.
It wasn’t long before a skilled tongue started licking around my by then straining erection, and in the pitch dark behind my eyes I could see Thom down there, looking up at me from under blond strands of hair, a deviant smirk on his face. My moaning was answered by the mouth engulfing me completely, sucking me off hard. I didn’t last long, and arched my back whilst crying out from behind my own hand.
But Colin wasn’t finished; he coated himself with my come and ripped off my jeans and socks. Too tired from the afterglow, I could only watch with a frown, realisation dawning on me only when he put two slick fingers in me. I wanted to say many things, but all I could do was gasp at the alien sensation. When after a few moments the fingers were replaced by a hard cock my eyes squeezed shut again, and I didn’t think of protesting any longer. It was Thom who was fucking me. It was Thom’s hand that held onto my hip as the other wrapped around my hardening cock, still so sensitive from orgasm. Those lips against my neck were Thom’s, the heavy breathing was his. He was picking up speed, filling me up again and again, hip bone scraping hip bone in frantic movement. I started pushing back, arching my back every time he came down, and both of us didn’t last long, me coming for the second time that night, Thom’s name on my lips, my own hanging in the air.
The next morning I woke up alone. Colin was asleep in the other bed, his back turned to me. Despite feeling so grateful for having a brother like him, he couldn’t help the fact that he just wasn’t the boy it was supposed to be. He just wasn’t Thom. I clutched the sheets until my knuckles turned white, but couldn’t stop the tears from flowing. I silently cried myself back to sleep, my head a complicated mixture of overwhelming gratitude and love sickness.
Monday, August 25, 2008
Meeting Jonny, pts 1-6
[warning: contro]
The fields surrounding the university campus were enlightened by several spots coming from the stage. The space in front of it was packed with people holding beers or snacks, available from the numerous stands surrounding the area. A loose, friendly atmosphere hung in the now slightly chilly air. It was the week before the Easter holidays, and thus time for the annual Cambridge mini-festival, which the Board of Students always organised and had lamely called Music for Students for Music. Luckily, only the posters and flyers kept using that name.
Of course Colin was there. He had a few friends within the Board and was asked to write a little piece for the university newspaper, what with his broad knowledge of music. Colin had cringed; the newspaper wasn’t exactly the kind of thing you wanted to have something to do with, let alone be a part of. But his love for music and writing had gotten the best of him and with a smile he had accepted the task, after emphasizing the fact that he’d be helping them out.
The lineup, he had to admit, was rather impressive. Not taking the opening acts into consideration. The festival would, naturally, start with two bands from Cambridge. Shameless self-promotion of a few geeks, probably, that’d surely keep dropping their picks. Why would they get the benefit of knowing people from the Board and he’d get the shitty jobs?
Realising the power he’d be having writing their reviews, Colin smirked inwardly. He walked around the stage, flashed the guard his pass and entered the backstage area. Looking for a quiet place to sit down, already coming up with some snarky comments, he accidentally bumped into someone. Startled, he looked up.
‘Someone’ appeared to be two people, to be correct. The first, a short guy with peroxide blond hair pointing in all directions, snorted audibly and walked on without a second glance. The second, however, froze and apologised quietly, asking if he was ok. If Colin would have been able to give him a proper look, he would’ve seen a lanky figure, dark-haired, all jutting bones and slenderness, a certain grace surrounding his gestures. But Colin could only stare into chocolate brown eyes, almost black in this absence of light, partly covered by a black fringe. When the boy opened his mouth again to repeat his question, Colin’s gaze dropped a few inches and rested on full lips. That was the moment where he felt the blush creeping up. He had to get away as soon as possible. Quickly assuring him that yes, he was fine, no problem, he noticed the lips slightly forming a smile before he turned around, practically running towards the trailer with toilets.
Colin dropped his notebook and pen on the sink before letting cold water fill his cupped hands. What the hell just happened? Splashing water onto his face to try and take the red away, he sighed, but it came out all desperate. He looked into the mirror. Same face as ever, except for the reddened cheekbones and worried frown. Thinking back to the other guy, the rude one, it struck him. It was a singer, he’d seen him on a picture. A picture of the main act. He had just bumped into On A Friday. Okay. So what about the other boy? Desperately repressing any further thoughts, he tried to think reasonably. He barely looked sixteen. Sounded older though. Could he be in the band as well? Was he a roadie, a friend? A boyfriend, maybe? Colin slapped himself inwardly and made his way towards the bar, deciding between either getting completely pissed tonight, or getting a fucking grip.
Part II
Thom was being a prick. Prick Thom was hard to handle. Even for Jonny. Thom had been going on and on about Cambridge people. How snobistic they were. How much they actually looked down on them. How they were all combed hair and smart talk in libraries and nerdy maths contests and their graduation would probably be the first party they’d go to.
“Thom, they picked us to be their main act.”
“Yeah, well I’d like to see who picked us, and the entire line-up, for that matter. Probably some friend of a friend who-“
“Good God, are you really supposed to be 21? Just give it up already, be glad we’ve got a show and some publicity -“
“And what kind is that? Headlining a Cambridge festival? People’ll start to think things, Jonny, they’ll associate us with them, they’ll think we owed them or something.” His tone was pure vomit.
Jonny just rolled his eyes.
“What?!” Thom spat.
“We’re on in ten minutes, don’t fuck up.” Jonny turned on his heels and left.
“Don’t bloody fuck up??” he repeated to the door, baffled.
Standing at the right edge of the stage, Colin was pretty much enjoying himself. The main act was giving everything they had, and while the lead singer was obviously in a bad mood, he played and sang along effortlessly. Well, the singer wasn’t exactly the one that was getting Colin’s attention anyway. He couldn’t stop gazing at that dark-haired guitarist in front of him, thrashing about on his Telecaster as if there was no tomorrow. Surprisingly, what came out were clean sounds, each played note deliberately chosen and each solo brilliantly blending with the music. And the way he was moving... The way he swished his long hair this way and that, momentarily revealing that beautiful face in an expression that made Colin’s knees grow weak. He had no idea what was going on, what his body was telling him; he only knew that he was enjoying it to the fullest.
Before Colin knew it, it was over. People were walking back towards the bar, leaving Colin standing there. He hadn’t written down a single word on his notepad. Suddenly a brave thought entered his mind. But Colin didn’t feel brave enough yet to carry out his plan. Making his way over to the bar for the required amount of bear, he was already scribbling furiously on his notepad.
The others were still changing clothes when Thom opened the door of their trailer, cigarette hanging down the corner of his mouth, snarling a “what?” to whoever had dared disturbing him.
“Eh, hello, I was wondering if you could spare a few minutes-“
“Spare a few minutes,” Thom mockingly repeated in his most posh accent. “Look, I don’t need this smart talk, just say what you want to say. And hurry up, ‘cause I need to take a piss.”
Colin understood, composed himself quickly, put on his sternest face and said, ”I need you for an interview.”
Thom, for a second taken aback by the sudden change of attitude, grinned, then rolled his eyes dramatically.
“Ten minutes.”
“I’ll be in trailer four.” And Colin was already walking away, not sparing Thom a second glance.
Colin, surprised with his own boldness, sat down at the table after having put a chair on the other side. Tapping his pen nervously on the wood, he reread the questions he had prepared for the nth time.
When the door finally opened, Colin was mortified to see that the guitarist – Jonny, if he had read correctly – had decided to come along. Thom sat down on the chair, obviously still in a mood, while Jonny was looking around the trailer, seemingly in search of something.
Dammit! thought Colin, and he quickly stood up, brushed some coats from a chair in the corner and placed it in front of Jonny.
“Thanks,” the latter repeated with a soft smile.
Colin felt his courage melting each second. He sat down on the opposite side, flashed a glance at his notebook, cleared his throat and started off.
Half an hour later, the tension had eased away slightly, and though Colin still refused to look Jonny in the eye directly, he had managed to get a few interesting answers from both of them. Thom had opened up and had talked a fair bit, though when Colin had asked them how they enjoyed being here, Jonny had quickly answered that it was lovely, glaring at Thom warningly. Suddenly, the door opened and Thom was asked for a picture.
Within five seconds, the door slammed shut again and Colin was trapped with Jonny opposite him, legs crossed, fingers entwined in his lap. One finger was drumming a strange off-beat rhythm.
Curious, Colin asked him about his taste in music.
It was bang on. Jonny’s face lit up, and before he knew it they were talking rather animatedly about the new Pixies album - which they both agreed wasn’t their best - the tragedy that was Ian Curtis and the breaking up of Talking Heads. Finally meeting someone who shared his favourite bands was a relief. He had almost forgot about his former bashfulness, when the door swung open and a familiar, clearly irritated voice shouted “Jonathan! We’re loading the van, mate! Come on!”
Rolling his eyes, Jonny let out a sigh and stood up. Not knowing what to do, Colin stood up as well, straightening his sweater. Suddenly, Jonny stuck out his hand. Colin hesitantly took it, and at that moment their eyes met. A flash of heat shot through Colin. Before he could react, a small smile formed on Jonny’s face and he shook his head, letting more hair fall over his eyes. Reluctantly, they let go. Colin just stood there, kicking himself inwardly to fucking say something. But Jonny was first.
“Bye... eh, what’s your name actually?”
“Colin.”
“Bye Colin.”
“Take care.” He had meant to say it in a cool way, but it came out all wrong and serious.
Jonny smiled and walked out the door, scratching his head.
Colin copied the gesture.
Part III
Thom had noticed. At least, he thought he had noticed. Sometimes Thom noticed too quickly, you see. But he was pretty sure now. He had noticed the way the interviewer was fidgeting, how his eyelashes kept flopping down whenever Jonny said something. He had noticed that Jonny had noticed. Jonny was clearly flattered and therefore less inhibited. Thom had smelled the tension in the room.
And he hated it. Thom hated it. Thom was quite a territorial person and he knew the effect Jonny had on certain people all too well. What Thom wanted from Jonny wasn’t exactly love or anything – that would be ridiculous – he just wanted his undivided attention. Which he had gotten ever since the boy had been allowed to join the band.
So when they were all standing backstage drinking a few more beers, not at all in a hurry to leave, Thom made sure he draped his arm around Jonny’s waist a little more than often, and when he felt Jonny melting into his touch, he calmed down a bit. Maybe it was his imagination after all.
Colin was talking to a girl from class, not at all registering what she was going on about. They were slowly walking through the backstage area when Colin spotted the On A Friday crew. His eyes found Jonny and took in the sight of Thom’s arm around his waist. Anger bolted through his thin frame, repressing disappointment vehemently. This was one of those ‘now or never’ moments. With a lame excuse he left his fellow student and made his way towards the group of people. Upon approaching, Jonny was the first to notice Colin and he quickly detached himself from Thom’s grip. A few glances were exchanged within seconds, and it seemed as if Jonny was quietly apologising. Colin couldn’t help but smile faintly, before stepping into the circle.
“I thought you guys had already left. Didn’t you say you were from Oxford?”
The last question was directed towards Thom, who startled.
“Eh, yeah.”
Seemingly finding back his role, he added an arrogant “What’s it to you?”
Colin smiled, pretending not to have noticed Thom’s snapping, and answered calmly, “It’s just that Oxford is a few hour ride from here, I was wondering if you were planning on driving all night.”
At this moment, Jonny dropped in.
“We’re staying in a hotel in the centre. Normally we can’t afford it, but headlining a festival does have its advantages cash-wise,” he laughed. Colin laughed as well. Thom thought he was about to throw up. When their conversation flipped to Magazine, he couldn’t help but interfere.
“Secondhand Daylight is way better.”
“What’s that all about, Thom? You’ve always proclaimed the sheer brilliance of Real Life!” replied Jonny, raising an eyebrow.
“Their later stuff is just better. Jackson leaving had a great deal to do with that.”
Colin jumped.
“Jackson was brilliant! They never again reached the level of Real Life because he left!”
“I’m going to have to agree with that, Thom,” Jonny added.
“Shut up, Jonny. You never even heard Magic, Murder and the Water,” Thom snapped.
“Weather,” Colin corrected.
“Whatever,” Thom sighed, rolling his eyes. I need to get out of here for the benefit of the atmosphere, he thought, leaving to get a few more beers.
Colin and Jonny watched Thom leaving. Jonny was frowning.
“Is he in a bad mood or is he always like that?” Colin dared asking.
Jonny sighed.
“Bad mood. No idea why though. He’s been like that ever since we arrived here.”
“I see. So, you’ve never heard Magic, Murder and the Weather, then?”
“Well, no. My sister traded Magazine for Joy Division after Secondhand Daylight. I didn’t complain, though,” Jonny added, smiling.
“I wouldn’t have either,” said Colin, clearly impressed. He started saying something else, then hesitated. Jonny looked at him, waiting patiently. After the easy talking of the past minutes, that look brought Colin right back to where he was before, complete with sweating palms and a blank mind. Now or never, the thought again.
“Maybe I could... I have the record, would you... I mean, my room is just across the field, I suppose you could give it a quick listen, it’s great,” he stuttered, pointing towards the dark Cambridge buildings.
Jonny’s mouth opened, stayed like that for a second, then shut again. He looked over his shoulder to where Thom had disappeared, then to the other band members.
Colin’s hope and bravery sank with every second. This was going wrong. Until he noticed a small smile upon the guitarist’s face.
“Sure,” Jonny nodded. He turned towards Phil and Ed, explaining that he would be gone for a while.
“You don’t have to wait up, I’ll find my way back to the hotel, it’s not that far.”
Phil and Ed, both more than a little intoxicated, didn’t seem to mind. They didn’t seem to register him very clearly either, but Jonny quietly ignored that fact.
Soon they were on their way down muddy paths towards the on-campus dorms, Colin trying to remember in what state he’d left his room earlier that day, Jonny thinking about how crazy he actually was, going home with a complete stranger. But was he? Throwing a quick glance at the boy next to him, he had that feeling again. The feeling like he’d known him his entire life. A familiar feeling entered his belly, and he thought of his early years with Thom. God, he had worshiped him. Crush would be a terrible euphemism. While Thom had made clear from the start that it wasn’t ever going to work out between them, that wouldn’t stop them from exploring each other to the fullest.
“So, you and Thom...” Colin broke the silence.
Oh hey, a mind reader.
“Yeah?”
“Eh, you and Thom, do you... get on well? I mean when he’s not in a bad mood,” he added with a grin whilst jumping over a particularly big puddle.
“Oh... er, yes, we’re best friends, actually. Tell each other everything and stuff. Yeah,” he answered, walking around the puddle.
“Best friends? As in...” Colin hesitated. He had to know.
Jonny answered quickly, “No no, not like that, no,” laughing nervously. He reconsidered and, smiling, added, “Well... not... entirely.”
Part IV
They had entered the building and were approaching the large staircase, but Colin stopped in his tracks. Jonny heard it and looked around.
“What?” he asked with a grin, scratching his head, sending strands of silky hair covering his face.
Colin looked back boldly, then answered “Nothing,” He grinned mischievously and scurried up the stairs. Jonny had to increase his pace to keep up. The first floor was deserted, and Colin quickly unlocked the door of his room. He then stuck out an arm invitingly, motioning for Jonny to come in.
Jonny didn’t even have time to register the inside of the room before he was slammed into the door. Colin was using his entire body to keep him there, holding his wrists in a tight grip against the door. He brought his lips close to Jonny’s, but pulled away when Jonny tried to meet them with his own.
“Quite a game you were playing out there,” he panted.
Jonny, startled by the switch of attitude, stared at him for a second. A sly grin appeared on his face before he replied, “Could say the same for you.”
“Are you even old enough to know about games like these anyway,” Colin hissed in his ear, then put his teeth to Jonny’s earlobe, pulling slightly and breathing hard in his ear.
Jonny shivered. He loved being controlled and, especially since this had come more or less unexpectedly, was enjoying it to the fullest.
“If you’re that convinced I’m underage, then why don’t you stop this now and walk out?” he suggested, sliding slender fingers through Colin’s belt loops, pulling him closer.
“Or are you the kind that prefers young, innocent, unspoilt boys?”
Colin stopped moving altogether. He brought his right hand to Jonny’s neck, his fingertips barely touching. Jonny arched into his touch. Slowly, he trailed up towards Jonny’s mouth, moving one finger over his full lips before tracing a cheekbone.
Looking at each other, the same want was reflecting in equally chocolate dark eyes, and a shiver ran down Colin’s spine. Sliding his palm around the back of his head, tangling fingers in silky black hair, he brought their mouths together and murmured against Jonny’s lips, “Nope. Just you.”
Their mouths opened simultaneously and tongues touched hesitantly. The small gesture of tenderness was quickly replaced by furious licking, biting and pulling. Colin was groping him shamelessly, rubbing their groins together, making Jonny moan in his mouth. The latter detached himself from Colin’s grip and stared at him wide-eyed.
“Is there a problem?” Colin asked casually, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.
“Not at all,” panted Jonny. “It’s just... I hadn’t seen it in you.”
“Well,” Colin shrugged, “you have that effect on me.” Not wasting another second, he put his lips to Jonny’s neck whilst sneaking under his hoodie and T-shirt, caressing then scratching the soft, warm skin underneath. When Jonny elicited another deep moan and finally started reciprocating, Colin felt bold enough to start fumbling with Jonny’s jeans. He undid the belt buckle and with one movement, pulled it out of the loops, throwing the piece of black leather on the bed.
Jonny, however, had other plans, and quickly flipped them both over, pushing Colin against the door. He pulled at Colin’s sweater and T-shirt and Colin lifted his arms to help him take them off. Running his hands over newly exposed skin, he started licking a trail down Colin’s heaving chest. Colin, taken by surprise, couldn’t do anything else but watch. And God, what a sight it was. Jonny on his knees in front of him, unzipping his trousers, fingers curling their way inside the waistband of his boxers.
“By the way, I’m not.”
Jonny looked up from under his fringe. Colin could’ve come right there and then. Managing to control himself, he asked, “Not what?”
Jonny released Colin's straining erection from the pinstriped boxers, shoving them down for better access.
“Not underage.”
Colin started replying that he couldn’t give a fuck anymore, but Jonny had already taken him in his mouth and he promptly forgot what else he was going to say. Fucking hell, that boy was good. Colin’s knees buckled involuntarily when the scraping of teeth on the underside of his cock sent shivers down his spine to his toes.
“Innocent,” he panted, “uns... unspoilt... my arse...” He could barely speak.
Jonny smiled, pulling away.
“Well, what about that?” he asked, and began groping Colin’s buttocks. Taking his cock back in his mouth, he let one finger slide down to Colin’s hole, massaging slowly. When he heard a loud moan, he added pressure.
Colin didn’t know what to do to keep from shouting. The shockwaves of pleasure he was receiving weren’t helping. He hadn’t dared dreaming about the experienced way Jonny was pleasuring him. At least not from his youthful, slightly shy appearances. But holy mother of Jesus, that Thom must’ve learned him a few tricks.
A pang of jealousy entered his mind again, and Colin looked down. Jonny, eyes closed, was fulfilling his task with devotion. It took Colin some self control to stroke his cheeks, nudging that beautiful face away from his pulsating cock.
“Wait,” he whispered, pulling Jonny up and kissing him feverishly whilst slowly pushing him towards the bed.
Part V
The moment Jonny’s calfs hit the side of the small single bed, his hoodie and T-shirt were already tossed to the floor. Both his and Colin’s trousers were half off, and they fell messily on the bed, Colin hovering above Jonny with a dangerous glint in his eyes. Somehow they managed to get out of their jeans, after a little trouble with Jonny’s black Doc Martens, simultaneously trying to touch and kiss every inch of skin available.
Suddenly, Colin halted. Jonny looked up at him, curious.
“I should lock the door.”
But before he got up, he planted a soft kiss on Jonny’s lips.
“You’re looking utterly angelic, you know that?”
Jonny blushed crimson, which made him even more cute.
Colin had already left the bed stark naked, turning off the main lights and locking the door, then proceeding to the record player.
“Don’t let that refrain you from anything,” Jonny replied casually from the bed.
“What?” asked Colin, grabbing a record.
“I said, don’t let...”
“I heard what you said, but what do you mean?”
Miles Davis was filling the air when Colin approached the bed already full with Jonny. Carefully placing his knees on the few square inches left on the mattress, he looked at Jonny, challenging.
“I was saying,” Jonny abruptly pulled Colin’s body to his, grinding their erections together, “that I might look naive, but I do have some experience when it comes to this,” he trailed his lips along Colin’s neck, quickly sank his teeth into it then sucked away the pain, “and that I trust you.”
Now Colin was the one shivering. The incredible power this boy was giving him, the enormous anticipation that was filling his blood with adrenaline, he couldn’t care less what exactly was the cause of it, but he knew exactly what to do about it.
“You really trust me?”
“Is there any reason I should not?”
Colin laughed breathlessly.
“I’m going to make you feel so good,” he answered, and took Jonny’s belt, that was laying behind him on the mattress.
“May I?” he asked politely, looking into Jonny’s eyes.
“Please,” the latter answered, obediently sticking out his wrists.
When Colin was done binding Jonny’s arms securely to the bedpost above his head, he took a moment to marvel at the sight. He wondered if Jonny had any idea how beautiful he was. All lean and lank, jutting bones, taut belly, dark eyes full of anticipation and desire. Not wasting another minute, he took the lube from the bedside table and coated his straining cock with a generous amount. Then he leaned over Jonny and faintly touched his lips with his own, so that Jonny had to lift his head to reciprocate. Too soon Colin trailed down towards his neck, eliciting a sigh from Jonny’s lips, or was that a gasp? When Colin moved his hips so that his cock was rubbing near Jonny’s opening, he heard the first real moan. The sound was so lovely he slowly did it again. Jonny’s hips were bucking and Colin quickly pressed them back onto the bed.
“You’ll have to show me some control, Jonny. It’s important that you don’t let yourself go. I promise you’ll be rewarded for your efforts,” Colin said with a low voice, before nibbling on a nipple. Jonny hissed, but managed to keep still.
“Good boy.”
Still working on the nipple, Colin slowly moved his finger towards Jonny’s opening, fingering the tight ring of muscles with a still slick finger. Jonny was now quivering under him, opening his legs farther, which made Colin smile. He was only just getting started. By the time a second finger was stretching Jonny, the boy was breathing deep and slowly, an attempt to relax and keep control. When Colin was satisfied, he pulled out all the way and positioned himself. Lips hovering over lips, he murmured a seductive “ready?”and a quick nod came as reply. Colin took both of Jonny’s legs and bent them for better access, softly stroking the boy’s inner thighs. With one strong hip movement he pushed in almost all the way, making Jonny moan out loud and pull on his restraints involuntarily, his eyes squeezed shut. But Colin knew it wasn’t from much pain.
“I knew you were ready,” he whispered in his ear.
He began easing in and out slowly, profoundly. Seeing Jonny doing everything he could not to move with him, trying to control the sounds he was emitting, made Colin try even harder to accomplish what he was aiming for. Which was pleasing Jonny the best way he could, making him forget about Thom and whoever else, making him remember this. Making him his.
Soon he was fucking Jonny with little effort, the latter breathing hard and swaying with every movement. His lips were forming a soundless moan, and Colin felt that it was time to let him make whatever delicious sounds he was holding back. With a skilled hip movement, he changed his angle just the slightest and started hitting that place.
Jonny saw stars. He couldn’t keep it to himself anymore and let out a scream. Colin pushed in again, and he screamed again.
“Oh my... ahhh, Jesus!” was all that came out, before a string of incoherent moaning and whimpering took over. It didn’t take long before Jonny started shaking, which was exactly what Colin was waiting for. Jonny tried to cross his legs behind Colin’s back, to push him more, but Colin quickly spread them apart again. He was the one in control. Jonny rolled his head to the side, pulling at the belt with his arms, strands of hair sticking to his sweaty face. He was close, Colin could tell. With one last push, Jonny emitted a high-pitched whimper and shook all over. Colin stopped moving and waited. If everything went according to plan, he wouldn’t... Nope, nothing. Excellent. Colin gave Jonny a few seconds to catch his breath and then without warning pushed in again. Surprised, Jonny’s eyes flew open.
“W... what are you doing? Why didn’t I cum?” he asked, bewildered.
“You’ll see soon enough, darling.”
If it weren’t for a few years of experience, Colin would’ve never been able to pull it off. Knowing what to do was one thing, staying hard another. But it was incredibly important for this. Within a minute, Jonny was on the edge for the second time. His eyebrows were furrowed, he didn’t understand how this was possible, but soon he closed his eyes and let his second orgasm wash over him, moaning Colin’s name out loud. When it was over, Colin looked at him with a deviant gleam in his eyes.
“One more?”
Before waiting for an answer, Colin started moving again. This time he was slamming into Jonny, relaxing his pelvic muscle, not trying to hold back any longer. With his left hand he held onto Jonny’s hip, while his right encircled his straining erection. It was so sensitive by now that Jonny squirmed when he started stroking him. He knew it couldn’t last long anymore, and with a few quick movements Jonny cummed at last, with an intensity he had never experienced before. His contracting muscles tightened around Colin’s cock and he let go, orgasm washing over him in the most intense way. He collapsed on top of Jonny's sweaty chest, simply because there was no space left next to him, and shakingly undid the belt from Jonny’s now dark red wrists. Jonny, although utterly drained, found a last spark of energy to put his arms around the boy on top of him. With the sound of a faint jazz trumpet in their ears, they fell asleep swiftly.
Part VI
It took a few seconds for Colin to gain consciousness. With his eyes still closed he registered soft arms around him, holding him. And keeping him from falling out of the bed. It was dark outside, and the sheets were still damp. Flashes of earlier that night seeped into his brain and he had to shift a bit to make sure he wouldn't wake Jonny with a new erection. Carefully, he untangled himself from Jonny's arms, took the sheets at their feet and spread them out over the two of them.
At that exact moment, three miles away, a furious Thom climbed into his hotel bed, still cursing under his breath. He had no idea where Jonny was, and those wankers of bandmates hadn't exactly been of much help. Rational as he always was when angry, he had started searching for Jonny himself, stomping around the fields that were slowly running empty. Even now he still didn't really know why he'd done that. Neither why he was so angry. Not sparing the empty single bed next to his a second glance, he crawled under the covers and turned his body to the window. If he'd been very honest with himself, he would've realised it wasn't anger he felt, nor worriedness. It was an ugly, complicated mix of disappointment, self-doubt and, yes, longing.
Jonny woke up to the warm feeling of sun shining onto his face. The first thing he registered was weight. Something was lying on top of him. After a few seconds he felt breath tickling his bare chest.
It breathes.
He tried opening his eyes, but the strong light made his eyes water. He shifted a little and immediately felt it. The afterglow was still in his limbs, and the evident feeling around his arse assured him. Sex.
His eyes flew open by themselves and Jonny quickly turned his head to the shadows of the small room. Peeking at his chest he noticed dark, more or less long hair sprawled across it. The rest of the person was hidden under the covers, but Jonny knew enough.
Colin. Wasn't it? Yes, Colin.
It was easily the best sex he'd ever had. Granted, the only experience he had acquired was from one person, Thom. He'd never really been with anyone else. Hadn't felt the need to, either. But Thom was all demanding and dominant. It was always 75% about him and, if Jonny tried hard, 25% about him. This was different. Colin had been the dominant one, but had still made Jonny the focus of attention. It was an entire new way of looking at sex.
And, jesus, it was just plain good. If only Thom would –
Oh yeah. Thom.
Shit.
"Shit," Jonny said again, out loud this time. Colin grunted and shifted his head, the stubble scraping Jonny's nipple a little. He flinched and moved to sit upright. Colin's head stayed where it was, glued to Jonny's chest, only now he was sleeping upright. Well, not exactly sleeping.
Another grunt escaped from somewhere deep in Colin's throat.
"Would you mind lying back down, I find it rather impossible to sleep comfortably in a vertical position," he mumbled sleepily.
Jonny opened his mouth to say something, decided against it and fell back down onto the bed.
Colin had already fallen asleep again. Or so he thought, until he felt the tip of a wet tongue flicking his left nipple.
"No, no no, I should go." It sounded almost desperate.
Colin rolled his head so that his mouth could envelop the pink bud entirely, biting down on it softly, hardening it instantly.
Jonny tried to sit up again, but this time Colin pushed him back down.
"I'm not letting you go just yet, Jonathan."
Jonny pulled a face.
"Don't call me tha- ngggggh, stop it!" he hissed, not very convincingly.
"What's the matter, Jonathan? Liking this a little too much?"
Colin's hands were now helping his words for more effect. One was caressing his side, slowly travelling downwards to his hip, the other was holding up Colin’s own body while a damp mouth was moving over Jonny’s treasure trail, destination obvious.
Jonny sighed and covered his face with his hands, knowing he wouldn’t be able to resist anyway.
______________________________________________________________________________
The first thing Thom did when he woke up that morning, was turn around. The bed next to his still hadn’t been touched. A nauseous feeling entered his stomach, one he quickly suppressed with anger. It was only fair to be mad at Jonny, wasn’t it? Trodding off without anyone knowing where he is, not even making use of the bed that was bloody paid for, leaving him alone- he was going to pay this time, Thom swore he was.
Jonny showed up right before checkout time. Strolling into the lobby with his hands in his pockets, head hung low. Thom lunged at him, roughly pulled him aside in a corner.
“What the fuck, Jonny? Where the hell have you been? Do you even know what time it is?”
Jonny was avoiding Thom’s piercing gaze, looking at the ground and over his shoulder, clenching his elbow with his hand.
“I’m... er-“
“It’s ten minutes before checkout, Jonathan. Ten. Where the fuck did you sleep? Did you really expect us to wait for you? Did you even consider maybe letting us know where you were trodding off to? You stupid- we might as well have booked a single room now! Do you realise what we could’ve bought with the money?”
Thom was moving closer as he spat out every single thought that entered his mind, stopping only when his index finger painfully poked Jonny’s chest, making the latter flinch and meet his gaze. At that very moment, Thom stopped talking. Eyes searching for nothing in particular, he moved his head closer, inhaling deeply. A look of disgust crept onto his face when he looked at Jonny again.
“You smell of sex.”
Thom kept staring, waiting until Jonny would confirm or deny the statement. Jonny was wise enough to keep his mouth shut, which Thom promptly took as a yes.
“You fucking slag.”
The slap came from nowhere. Despite the shock, Jonny moved quickly and pinned Thom’s arms to the wall behind him to stop him from doing it again. Cheek already reddening, eyes watering a little, he pressed his own forehead to Thom’s, talking quietly between his teeth.
“Do not do that again. Call me anything you want, but not that.”
Thom squirmed in his grasp but quickly realised he couldn’t get away. He settled for words.
“So it’s true then. God, Jonny, I didn’t know you were such a whore. You fucking ungrateful bastard, you-“
“That’s what it’s about then, isn’t it? It’s not about me. Not about him either. It’s about us. Isn’t it, Thom?” Jonny asked calmly.
“Who was he then? Tell me, who was it? I bet it was that Cambridge guy, I saw him eyeing you, don’t deny you didn’t notice, he was practically raping you with his eyes, was he any good? Tell me, Jonathan, did he make you cmmmmmbl”
The rest of Thom’s rant was drowned by Jonny’s lips on his. They pushed against each other, biting, scratching, pinching. It was the only thing they knew how to deal with. So when Thom roughly pushed Jonny into the storage room next to the elevator, Jonny didn’t stop him. This was easier than talking. Less painful, even with the bruises that were surely going to turn purple tomorrow.
Two minutes later, both were leaning against the wall next to each other, pulling up zippers and panting heavily. Thom didn’t even look at him, just opened the door and, right before slamming it shut, couldn’t resist.
“Whore.”
The fields surrounding the university campus were enlightened by several spots coming from the stage. The space in front of it was packed with people holding beers or snacks, available from the numerous stands surrounding the area. A loose, friendly atmosphere hung in the now slightly chilly air. It was the week before the Easter holidays, and thus time for the annual Cambridge mini-festival, which the Board of Students always organised and had lamely called Music for Students for Music. Luckily, only the posters and flyers kept using that name.
Of course Colin was there. He had a few friends within the Board and was asked to write a little piece for the university newspaper, what with his broad knowledge of music. Colin had cringed; the newspaper wasn’t exactly the kind of thing you wanted to have something to do with, let alone be a part of. But his love for music and writing had gotten the best of him and with a smile he had accepted the task, after emphasizing the fact that he’d be helping them out.
The lineup, he had to admit, was rather impressive. Not taking the opening acts into consideration. The festival would, naturally, start with two bands from Cambridge. Shameless self-promotion of a few geeks, probably, that’d surely keep dropping their picks. Why would they get the benefit of knowing people from the Board and he’d get the shitty jobs?
Realising the power he’d be having writing their reviews, Colin smirked inwardly. He walked around the stage, flashed the guard his pass and entered the backstage area. Looking for a quiet place to sit down, already coming up with some snarky comments, he accidentally bumped into someone. Startled, he looked up.
‘Someone’ appeared to be two people, to be correct. The first, a short guy with peroxide blond hair pointing in all directions, snorted audibly and walked on without a second glance. The second, however, froze and apologised quietly, asking if he was ok. If Colin would have been able to give him a proper look, he would’ve seen a lanky figure, dark-haired, all jutting bones and slenderness, a certain grace surrounding his gestures. But Colin could only stare into chocolate brown eyes, almost black in this absence of light, partly covered by a black fringe. When the boy opened his mouth again to repeat his question, Colin’s gaze dropped a few inches and rested on full lips. That was the moment where he felt the blush creeping up. He had to get away as soon as possible. Quickly assuring him that yes, he was fine, no problem, he noticed the lips slightly forming a smile before he turned around, practically running towards the trailer with toilets.
Colin dropped his notebook and pen on the sink before letting cold water fill his cupped hands. What the hell just happened? Splashing water onto his face to try and take the red away, he sighed, but it came out all desperate. He looked into the mirror. Same face as ever, except for the reddened cheekbones and worried frown. Thinking back to the other guy, the rude one, it struck him. It was a singer, he’d seen him on a picture. A picture of the main act. He had just bumped into On A Friday. Okay. So what about the other boy? Desperately repressing any further thoughts, he tried to think reasonably. He barely looked sixteen. Sounded older though. Could he be in the band as well? Was he a roadie, a friend? A boyfriend, maybe? Colin slapped himself inwardly and made his way towards the bar, deciding between either getting completely pissed tonight, or getting a fucking grip.
Part II
Thom was being a prick. Prick Thom was hard to handle. Even for Jonny. Thom had been going on and on about Cambridge people. How snobistic they were. How much they actually looked down on them. How they were all combed hair and smart talk in libraries and nerdy maths contests and their graduation would probably be the first party they’d go to.
“Thom, they picked us to be their main act.”
“Yeah, well I’d like to see who picked us, and the entire line-up, for that matter. Probably some friend of a friend who-“
“Good God, are you really supposed to be 21? Just give it up already, be glad we’ve got a show and some publicity -“
“And what kind is that? Headlining a Cambridge festival? People’ll start to think things, Jonny, they’ll associate us with them, they’ll think we owed them or something.” His tone was pure vomit.
Jonny just rolled his eyes.
“What?!” Thom spat.
“We’re on in ten minutes, don’t fuck up.” Jonny turned on his heels and left.
“Don’t bloody fuck up??” he repeated to the door, baffled.
Standing at the right edge of the stage, Colin was pretty much enjoying himself. The main act was giving everything they had, and while the lead singer was obviously in a bad mood, he played and sang along effortlessly. Well, the singer wasn’t exactly the one that was getting Colin’s attention anyway. He couldn’t stop gazing at that dark-haired guitarist in front of him, thrashing about on his Telecaster as if there was no tomorrow. Surprisingly, what came out were clean sounds, each played note deliberately chosen and each solo brilliantly blending with the music. And the way he was moving... The way he swished his long hair this way and that, momentarily revealing that beautiful face in an expression that made Colin’s knees grow weak. He had no idea what was going on, what his body was telling him; he only knew that he was enjoying it to the fullest.
Before Colin knew it, it was over. People were walking back towards the bar, leaving Colin standing there. He hadn’t written down a single word on his notepad. Suddenly a brave thought entered his mind. But Colin didn’t feel brave enough yet to carry out his plan. Making his way over to the bar for the required amount of bear, he was already scribbling furiously on his notepad.
The others were still changing clothes when Thom opened the door of their trailer, cigarette hanging down the corner of his mouth, snarling a “what?” to whoever had dared disturbing him.
“Eh, hello, I was wondering if you could spare a few minutes-“
“Spare a few minutes,” Thom mockingly repeated in his most posh accent. “Look, I don’t need this smart talk, just say what you want to say. And hurry up, ‘cause I need to take a piss.”
Colin understood, composed himself quickly, put on his sternest face and said, ”I need you for an interview.”
Thom, for a second taken aback by the sudden change of attitude, grinned, then rolled his eyes dramatically.
“Ten minutes.”
“I’ll be in trailer four.” And Colin was already walking away, not sparing Thom a second glance.
Colin, surprised with his own boldness, sat down at the table after having put a chair on the other side. Tapping his pen nervously on the wood, he reread the questions he had prepared for the nth time.
When the door finally opened, Colin was mortified to see that the guitarist – Jonny, if he had read correctly – had decided to come along. Thom sat down on the chair, obviously still in a mood, while Jonny was looking around the trailer, seemingly in search of something.
Dammit! thought Colin, and he quickly stood up, brushed some coats from a chair in the corner and placed it in front of Jonny.
“Thanks,” the latter repeated with a soft smile.
Colin felt his courage melting each second. He sat down on the opposite side, flashed a glance at his notebook, cleared his throat and started off.
Half an hour later, the tension had eased away slightly, and though Colin still refused to look Jonny in the eye directly, he had managed to get a few interesting answers from both of them. Thom had opened up and had talked a fair bit, though when Colin had asked them how they enjoyed being here, Jonny had quickly answered that it was lovely, glaring at Thom warningly. Suddenly, the door opened and Thom was asked for a picture.
Within five seconds, the door slammed shut again and Colin was trapped with Jonny opposite him, legs crossed, fingers entwined in his lap. One finger was drumming a strange off-beat rhythm.
Curious, Colin asked him about his taste in music.
It was bang on. Jonny’s face lit up, and before he knew it they were talking rather animatedly about the new Pixies album - which they both agreed wasn’t their best - the tragedy that was Ian Curtis and the breaking up of Talking Heads. Finally meeting someone who shared his favourite bands was a relief. He had almost forgot about his former bashfulness, when the door swung open and a familiar, clearly irritated voice shouted “Jonathan! We’re loading the van, mate! Come on!”
Rolling his eyes, Jonny let out a sigh and stood up. Not knowing what to do, Colin stood up as well, straightening his sweater. Suddenly, Jonny stuck out his hand. Colin hesitantly took it, and at that moment their eyes met. A flash of heat shot through Colin. Before he could react, a small smile formed on Jonny’s face and he shook his head, letting more hair fall over his eyes. Reluctantly, they let go. Colin just stood there, kicking himself inwardly to fucking say something. But Jonny was first.
“Bye... eh, what’s your name actually?”
“Colin.”
“Bye Colin.”
“Take care.” He had meant to say it in a cool way, but it came out all wrong and serious.
Jonny smiled and walked out the door, scratching his head.
Colin copied the gesture.
Part III
Thom had noticed. At least, he thought he had noticed. Sometimes Thom noticed too quickly, you see. But he was pretty sure now. He had noticed the way the interviewer was fidgeting, how his eyelashes kept flopping down whenever Jonny said something. He had noticed that Jonny had noticed. Jonny was clearly flattered and therefore less inhibited. Thom had smelled the tension in the room.
And he hated it. Thom hated it. Thom was quite a territorial person and he knew the effect Jonny had on certain people all too well. What Thom wanted from Jonny wasn’t exactly love or anything – that would be ridiculous – he just wanted his undivided attention. Which he had gotten ever since the boy had been allowed to join the band.
So when they were all standing backstage drinking a few more beers, not at all in a hurry to leave, Thom made sure he draped his arm around Jonny’s waist a little more than often, and when he felt Jonny melting into his touch, he calmed down a bit. Maybe it was his imagination after all.
Colin was talking to a girl from class, not at all registering what she was going on about. They were slowly walking through the backstage area when Colin spotted the On A Friday crew. His eyes found Jonny and took in the sight of Thom’s arm around his waist. Anger bolted through his thin frame, repressing disappointment vehemently. This was one of those ‘now or never’ moments. With a lame excuse he left his fellow student and made his way towards the group of people. Upon approaching, Jonny was the first to notice Colin and he quickly detached himself from Thom’s grip. A few glances were exchanged within seconds, and it seemed as if Jonny was quietly apologising. Colin couldn’t help but smile faintly, before stepping into the circle.
“I thought you guys had already left. Didn’t you say you were from Oxford?”
The last question was directed towards Thom, who startled.
“Eh, yeah.”
Seemingly finding back his role, he added an arrogant “What’s it to you?”
Colin smiled, pretending not to have noticed Thom’s snapping, and answered calmly, “It’s just that Oxford is a few hour ride from here, I was wondering if you were planning on driving all night.”
At this moment, Jonny dropped in.
“We’re staying in a hotel in the centre. Normally we can’t afford it, but headlining a festival does have its advantages cash-wise,” he laughed. Colin laughed as well. Thom thought he was about to throw up. When their conversation flipped to Magazine, he couldn’t help but interfere.
“Secondhand Daylight is way better.”
“What’s that all about, Thom? You’ve always proclaimed the sheer brilliance of Real Life!” replied Jonny, raising an eyebrow.
“Their later stuff is just better. Jackson leaving had a great deal to do with that.”
Colin jumped.
“Jackson was brilliant! They never again reached the level of Real Life because he left!”
“I’m going to have to agree with that, Thom,” Jonny added.
“Shut up, Jonny. You never even heard Magic, Murder and the Water,” Thom snapped.
“Weather,” Colin corrected.
“Whatever,” Thom sighed, rolling his eyes. I need to get out of here for the benefit of the atmosphere, he thought, leaving to get a few more beers.
Colin and Jonny watched Thom leaving. Jonny was frowning.
“Is he in a bad mood or is he always like that?” Colin dared asking.
Jonny sighed.
“Bad mood. No idea why though. He’s been like that ever since we arrived here.”
“I see. So, you’ve never heard Magic, Murder and the Weather, then?”
“Well, no. My sister traded Magazine for Joy Division after Secondhand Daylight. I didn’t complain, though,” Jonny added, smiling.
“I wouldn’t have either,” said Colin, clearly impressed. He started saying something else, then hesitated. Jonny looked at him, waiting patiently. After the easy talking of the past minutes, that look brought Colin right back to where he was before, complete with sweating palms and a blank mind. Now or never, the thought again.
“Maybe I could... I have the record, would you... I mean, my room is just across the field, I suppose you could give it a quick listen, it’s great,” he stuttered, pointing towards the dark Cambridge buildings.
Jonny’s mouth opened, stayed like that for a second, then shut again. He looked over his shoulder to where Thom had disappeared, then to the other band members.
Colin’s hope and bravery sank with every second. This was going wrong. Until he noticed a small smile upon the guitarist’s face.
“Sure,” Jonny nodded. He turned towards Phil and Ed, explaining that he would be gone for a while.
“You don’t have to wait up, I’ll find my way back to the hotel, it’s not that far.”
Phil and Ed, both more than a little intoxicated, didn’t seem to mind. They didn’t seem to register him very clearly either, but Jonny quietly ignored that fact.
Soon they were on their way down muddy paths towards the on-campus dorms, Colin trying to remember in what state he’d left his room earlier that day, Jonny thinking about how crazy he actually was, going home with a complete stranger. But was he? Throwing a quick glance at the boy next to him, he had that feeling again. The feeling like he’d known him his entire life. A familiar feeling entered his belly, and he thought of his early years with Thom. God, he had worshiped him. Crush would be a terrible euphemism. While Thom had made clear from the start that it wasn’t ever going to work out between them, that wouldn’t stop them from exploring each other to the fullest.
“So, you and Thom...” Colin broke the silence.
Oh hey, a mind reader.
“Yeah?”
“Eh, you and Thom, do you... get on well? I mean when he’s not in a bad mood,” he added with a grin whilst jumping over a particularly big puddle.
“Oh... er, yes, we’re best friends, actually. Tell each other everything and stuff. Yeah,” he answered, walking around the puddle.
“Best friends? As in...” Colin hesitated. He had to know.
Jonny answered quickly, “No no, not like that, no,” laughing nervously. He reconsidered and, smiling, added, “Well... not... entirely.”
Part IV
They had entered the building and were approaching the large staircase, but Colin stopped in his tracks. Jonny heard it and looked around.
“What?” he asked with a grin, scratching his head, sending strands of silky hair covering his face.
Colin looked back boldly, then answered “Nothing,” He grinned mischievously and scurried up the stairs. Jonny had to increase his pace to keep up. The first floor was deserted, and Colin quickly unlocked the door of his room. He then stuck out an arm invitingly, motioning for Jonny to come in.
Jonny didn’t even have time to register the inside of the room before he was slammed into the door. Colin was using his entire body to keep him there, holding his wrists in a tight grip against the door. He brought his lips close to Jonny’s, but pulled away when Jonny tried to meet them with his own.
“Quite a game you were playing out there,” he panted.
Jonny, startled by the switch of attitude, stared at him for a second. A sly grin appeared on his face before he replied, “Could say the same for you.”
“Are you even old enough to know about games like these anyway,” Colin hissed in his ear, then put his teeth to Jonny’s earlobe, pulling slightly and breathing hard in his ear.
Jonny shivered. He loved being controlled and, especially since this had come more or less unexpectedly, was enjoying it to the fullest.
“If you’re that convinced I’m underage, then why don’t you stop this now and walk out?” he suggested, sliding slender fingers through Colin’s belt loops, pulling him closer.
“Or are you the kind that prefers young, innocent, unspoilt boys?”
Colin stopped moving altogether. He brought his right hand to Jonny’s neck, his fingertips barely touching. Jonny arched into his touch. Slowly, he trailed up towards Jonny’s mouth, moving one finger over his full lips before tracing a cheekbone.
Looking at each other, the same want was reflecting in equally chocolate dark eyes, and a shiver ran down Colin’s spine. Sliding his palm around the back of his head, tangling fingers in silky black hair, he brought their mouths together and murmured against Jonny’s lips, “Nope. Just you.”
Their mouths opened simultaneously and tongues touched hesitantly. The small gesture of tenderness was quickly replaced by furious licking, biting and pulling. Colin was groping him shamelessly, rubbing their groins together, making Jonny moan in his mouth. The latter detached himself from Colin’s grip and stared at him wide-eyed.
“Is there a problem?” Colin asked casually, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.
“Not at all,” panted Jonny. “It’s just... I hadn’t seen it in you.”
“Well,” Colin shrugged, “you have that effect on me.” Not wasting another second, he put his lips to Jonny’s neck whilst sneaking under his hoodie and T-shirt, caressing then scratching the soft, warm skin underneath. When Jonny elicited another deep moan and finally started reciprocating, Colin felt bold enough to start fumbling with Jonny’s jeans. He undid the belt buckle and with one movement, pulled it out of the loops, throwing the piece of black leather on the bed.
Jonny, however, had other plans, and quickly flipped them both over, pushing Colin against the door. He pulled at Colin’s sweater and T-shirt and Colin lifted his arms to help him take them off. Running his hands over newly exposed skin, he started licking a trail down Colin’s heaving chest. Colin, taken by surprise, couldn’t do anything else but watch. And God, what a sight it was. Jonny on his knees in front of him, unzipping his trousers, fingers curling their way inside the waistband of his boxers.
“By the way, I’m not.”
Jonny looked up from under his fringe. Colin could’ve come right there and then. Managing to control himself, he asked, “Not what?”
Jonny released Colin's straining erection from the pinstriped boxers, shoving them down for better access.
“Not underage.”
Colin started replying that he couldn’t give a fuck anymore, but Jonny had already taken him in his mouth and he promptly forgot what else he was going to say. Fucking hell, that boy was good. Colin’s knees buckled involuntarily when the scraping of teeth on the underside of his cock sent shivers down his spine to his toes.
“Innocent,” he panted, “uns... unspoilt... my arse...” He could barely speak.
Jonny smiled, pulling away.
“Well, what about that?” he asked, and began groping Colin’s buttocks. Taking his cock back in his mouth, he let one finger slide down to Colin’s hole, massaging slowly. When he heard a loud moan, he added pressure.
Colin didn’t know what to do to keep from shouting. The shockwaves of pleasure he was receiving weren’t helping. He hadn’t dared dreaming about the experienced way Jonny was pleasuring him. At least not from his youthful, slightly shy appearances. But holy mother of Jesus, that Thom must’ve learned him a few tricks.
A pang of jealousy entered his mind again, and Colin looked down. Jonny, eyes closed, was fulfilling his task with devotion. It took Colin some self control to stroke his cheeks, nudging that beautiful face away from his pulsating cock.
“Wait,” he whispered, pulling Jonny up and kissing him feverishly whilst slowly pushing him towards the bed.
Part V
The moment Jonny’s calfs hit the side of the small single bed, his hoodie and T-shirt were already tossed to the floor. Both his and Colin’s trousers were half off, and they fell messily on the bed, Colin hovering above Jonny with a dangerous glint in his eyes. Somehow they managed to get out of their jeans, after a little trouble with Jonny’s black Doc Martens, simultaneously trying to touch and kiss every inch of skin available.
Suddenly, Colin halted. Jonny looked up at him, curious.
“I should lock the door.”
But before he got up, he planted a soft kiss on Jonny’s lips.
“You’re looking utterly angelic, you know that?”
Jonny blushed crimson, which made him even more cute.
Colin had already left the bed stark naked, turning off the main lights and locking the door, then proceeding to the record player.
“Don’t let that refrain you from anything,” Jonny replied casually from the bed.
“What?” asked Colin, grabbing a record.
“I said, don’t let...”
“I heard what you said, but what do you mean?”
Miles Davis was filling the air when Colin approached the bed already full with Jonny. Carefully placing his knees on the few square inches left on the mattress, he looked at Jonny, challenging.
“I was saying,” Jonny abruptly pulled Colin’s body to his, grinding their erections together, “that I might look naive, but I do have some experience when it comes to this,” he trailed his lips along Colin’s neck, quickly sank his teeth into it then sucked away the pain, “and that I trust you.”
Now Colin was the one shivering. The incredible power this boy was giving him, the enormous anticipation that was filling his blood with adrenaline, he couldn’t care less what exactly was the cause of it, but he knew exactly what to do about it.
“You really trust me?”
“Is there any reason I should not?”
Colin laughed breathlessly.
“I’m going to make you feel so good,” he answered, and took Jonny’s belt, that was laying behind him on the mattress.
“May I?” he asked politely, looking into Jonny’s eyes.
“Please,” the latter answered, obediently sticking out his wrists.
When Colin was done binding Jonny’s arms securely to the bedpost above his head, he took a moment to marvel at the sight. He wondered if Jonny had any idea how beautiful he was. All lean and lank, jutting bones, taut belly, dark eyes full of anticipation and desire. Not wasting another minute, he took the lube from the bedside table and coated his straining cock with a generous amount. Then he leaned over Jonny and faintly touched his lips with his own, so that Jonny had to lift his head to reciprocate. Too soon Colin trailed down towards his neck, eliciting a sigh from Jonny’s lips, or was that a gasp? When Colin moved his hips so that his cock was rubbing near Jonny’s opening, he heard the first real moan. The sound was so lovely he slowly did it again. Jonny’s hips were bucking and Colin quickly pressed them back onto the bed.
“You’ll have to show me some control, Jonny. It’s important that you don’t let yourself go. I promise you’ll be rewarded for your efforts,” Colin said with a low voice, before nibbling on a nipple. Jonny hissed, but managed to keep still.
“Good boy.”
Still working on the nipple, Colin slowly moved his finger towards Jonny’s opening, fingering the tight ring of muscles with a still slick finger. Jonny was now quivering under him, opening his legs farther, which made Colin smile. He was only just getting started. By the time a second finger was stretching Jonny, the boy was breathing deep and slowly, an attempt to relax and keep control. When Colin was satisfied, he pulled out all the way and positioned himself. Lips hovering over lips, he murmured a seductive “ready?”and a quick nod came as reply. Colin took both of Jonny’s legs and bent them for better access, softly stroking the boy’s inner thighs. With one strong hip movement he pushed in almost all the way, making Jonny moan out loud and pull on his restraints involuntarily, his eyes squeezed shut. But Colin knew it wasn’t from much pain.
“I knew you were ready,” he whispered in his ear.
He began easing in and out slowly, profoundly. Seeing Jonny doing everything he could not to move with him, trying to control the sounds he was emitting, made Colin try even harder to accomplish what he was aiming for. Which was pleasing Jonny the best way he could, making him forget about Thom and whoever else, making him remember this. Making him his.
Soon he was fucking Jonny with little effort, the latter breathing hard and swaying with every movement. His lips were forming a soundless moan, and Colin felt that it was time to let him make whatever delicious sounds he was holding back. With a skilled hip movement, he changed his angle just the slightest and started hitting that place.
Jonny saw stars. He couldn’t keep it to himself anymore and let out a scream. Colin pushed in again, and he screamed again.
“Oh my... ahhh, Jesus!” was all that came out, before a string of incoherent moaning and whimpering took over. It didn’t take long before Jonny started shaking, which was exactly what Colin was waiting for. Jonny tried to cross his legs behind Colin’s back, to push him more, but Colin quickly spread them apart again. He was the one in control. Jonny rolled his head to the side, pulling at the belt with his arms, strands of hair sticking to his sweaty face. He was close, Colin could tell. With one last push, Jonny emitted a high-pitched whimper and shook all over. Colin stopped moving and waited. If everything went according to plan, he wouldn’t... Nope, nothing. Excellent. Colin gave Jonny a few seconds to catch his breath and then without warning pushed in again. Surprised, Jonny’s eyes flew open.
“W... what are you doing? Why didn’t I cum?” he asked, bewildered.
“You’ll see soon enough, darling.”
If it weren’t for a few years of experience, Colin would’ve never been able to pull it off. Knowing what to do was one thing, staying hard another. But it was incredibly important for this. Within a minute, Jonny was on the edge for the second time. His eyebrows were furrowed, he didn’t understand how this was possible, but soon he closed his eyes and let his second orgasm wash over him, moaning Colin’s name out loud. When it was over, Colin looked at him with a deviant gleam in his eyes.
“One more?”
Before waiting for an answer, Colin started moving again. This time he was slamming into Jonny, relaxing his pelvic muscle, not trying to hold back any longer. With his left hand he held onto Jonny’s hip, while his right encircled his straining erection. It was so sensitive by now that Jonny squirmed when he started stroking him. He knew it couldn’t last long anymore, and with a few quick movements Jonny cummed at last, with an intensity he had never experienced before. His contracting muscles tightened around Colin’s cock and he let go, orgasm washing over him in the most intense way. He collapsed on top of Jonny's sweaty chest, simply because there was no space left next to him, and shakingly undid the belt from Jonny’s now dark red wrists. Jonny, although utterly drained, found a last spark of energy to put his arms around the boy on top of him. With the sound of a faint jazz trumpet in their ears, they fell asleep swiftly.
Part VI
It took a few seconds for Colin to gain consciousness. With his eyes still closed he registered soft arms around him, holding him. And keeping him from falling out of the bed. It was dark outside, and the sheets were still damp. Flashes of earlier that night seeped into his brain and he had to shift a bit to make sure he wouldn't wake Jonny with a new erection. Carefully, he untangled himself from Jonny's arms, took the sheets at their feet and spread them out over the two of them.
At that exact moment, three miles away, a furious Thom climbed into his hotel bed, still cursing under his breath. He had no idea where Jonny was, and those wankers of bandmates hadn't exactly been of much help. Rational as he always was when angry, he had started searching for Jonny himself, stomping around the fields that were slowly running empty. Even now he still didn't really know why he'd done that. Neither why he was so angry. Not sparing the empty single bed next to his a second glance, he crawled under the covers and turned his body to the window. If he'd been very honest with himself, he would've realised it wasn't anger he felt, nor worriedness. It was an ugly, complicated mix of disappointment, self-doubt and, yes, longing.
Jonny woke up to the warm feeling of sun shining onto his face. The first thing he registered was weight. Something was lying on top of him. After a few seconds he felt breath tickling his bare chest.
It breathes.
He tried opening his eyes, but the strong light made his eyes water. He shifted a little and immediately felt it. The afterglow was still in his limbs, and the evident feeling around his arse assured him. Sex.
His eyes flew open by themselves and Jonny quickly turned his head to the shadows of the small room. Peeking at his chest he noticed dark, more or less long hair sprawled across it. The rest of the person was hidden under the covers, but Jonny knew enough.
Colin. Wasn't it? Yes, Colin.
It was easily the best sex he'd ever had. Granted, the only experience he had acquired was from one person, Thom. He'd never really been with anyone else. Hadn't felt the need to, either. But Thom was all demanding and dominant. It was always 75% about him and, if Jonny tried hard, 25% about him. This was different. Colin had been the dominant one, but had still made Jonny the focus of attention. It was an entire new way of looking at sex.
And, jesus, it was just plain good. If only Thom would –
Oh yeah. Thom.
Shit.
"Shit," Jonny said again, out loud this time. Colin grunted and shifted his head, the stubble scraping Jonny's nipple a little. He flinched and moved to sit upright. Colin's head stayed where it was, glued to Jonny's chest, only now he was sleeping upright. Well, not exactly sleeping.
Another grunt escaped from somewhere deep in Colin's throat.
"Would you mind lying back down, I find it rather impossible to sleep comfortably in a vertical position," he mumbled sleepily.
Jonny opened his mouth to say something, decided against it and fell back down onto the bed.
Colin had already fallen asleep again. Or so he thought, until he felt the tip of a wet tongue flicking his left nipple.
"No, no no, I should go." It sounded almost desperate.
Colin rolled his head so that his mouth could envelop the pink bud entirely, biting down on it softly, hardening it instantly.
Jonny tried to sit up again, but this time Colin pushed him back down.
"I'm not letting you go just yet, Jonathan."
Jonny pulled a face.
"Don't call me tha- ngggggh, stop it!" he hissed, not very convincingly.
"What's the matter, Jonathan? Liking this a little too much?"
Colin's hands were now helping his words for more effect. One was caressing his side, slowly travelling downwards to his hip, the other was holding up Colin’s own body while a damp mouth was moving over Jonny’s treasure trail, destination obvious.
Jonny sighed and covered his face with his hands, knowing he wouldn’t be able to resist anyway.
______________________________________________________________________________
The first thing Thom did when he woke up that morning, was turn around. The bed next to his still hadn’t been touched. A nauseous feeling entered his stomach, one he quickly suppressed with anger. It was only fair to be mad at Jonny, wasn’t it? Trodding off without anyone knowing where he is, not even making use of the bed that was bloody paid for, leaving him alone- he was going to pay this time, Thom swore he was.
Jonny showed up right before checkout time. Strolling into the lobby with his hands in his pockets, head hung low. Thom lunged at him, roughly pulled him aside in a corner.
“What the fuck, Jonny? Where the hell have you been? Do you even know what time it is?”
Jonny was avoiding Thom’s piercing gaze, looking at the ground and over his shoulder, clenching his elbow with his hand.
“I’m... er-“
“It’s ten minutes before checkout, Jonathan. Ten. Where the fuck did you sleep? Did you really expect us to wait for you? Did you even consider maybe letting us know where you were trodding off to? You stupid- we might as well have booked a single room now! Do you realise what we could’ve bought with the money?”
Thom was moving closer as he spat out every single thought that entered his mind, stopping only when his index finger painfully poked Jonny’s chest, making the latter flinch and meet his gaze. At that very moment, Thom stopped talking. Eyes searching for nothing in particular, he moved his head closer, inhaling deeply. A look of disgust crept onto his face when he looked at Jonny again.
“You smell of sex.”
Thom kept staring, waiting until Jonny would confirm or deny the statement. Jonny was wise enough to keep his mouth shut, which Thom promptly took as a yes.
“You fucking slag.”
The slap came from nowhere. Despite the shock, Jonny moved quickly and pinned Thom’s arms to the wall behind him to stop him from doing it again. Cheek already reddening, eyes watering a little, he pressed his own forehead to Thom’s, talking quietly between his teeth.
“Do not do that again. Call me anything you want, but not that.”
Thom squirmed in his grasp but quickly realised he couldn’t get away. He settled for words.
“So it’s true then. God, Jonny, I didn’t know you were such a whore. You fucking ungrateful bastard, you-“
“That’s what it’s about then, isn’t it? It’s not about me. Not about him either. It’s about us. Isn’t it, Thom?” Jonny asked calmly.
“Who was he then? Tell me, who was it? I bet it was that Cambridge guy, I saw him eyeing you, don’t deny you didn’t notice, he was practically raping you with his eyes, was he any good? Tell me, Jonathan, did he make you cmmmmmbl”
The rest of Thom’s rant was drowned by Jonny’s lips on his. They pushed against each other, biting, scratching, pinching. It was the only thing they knew how to deal with. So when Thom roughly pushed Jonny into the storage room next to the elevator, Jonny didn’t stop him. This was easier than talking. Less painful, even with the bruises that were surely going to turn purple tomorrow.
Two minutes later, both were leaning against the wall next to each other, pulling up zippers and panting heavily. Thom didn’t even look at him, just opened the door and, right before slamming it shut, couldn’t resist.
“Whore.”
Friday, March 28, 2008
Points of View
[warning: contro]
Dorien:
Awesome! You can join my cover band (Actually I should've let you beg some more and ask your brother to help you get in good graces with me and start with the harmonica.
Lee:
I can beg and be all young and enthusiastic and skinny and swish my hair a lot and be all oblivious and unaware of my youthful sexiness and... I'm sorry, what were we talking about again?
Dorien:
Maybe you should show me what you can do on the piano while I sit behind you watching you tremble and sweat and give harsh comments that totally give away that I'm really just as nervous and then I'd pour us another drink, planning on getting us both drunk enough so we can blame whatever will happen on the alcohol.
Thom:
And then we'd talk about your taste in music and you'd try to say the right things and rub your lips nervously but to me it'd just look extremely obscene and the last thing I can think is that this is so very wrong on so many levels and I should get the hell out of here before something happens.
Jonny:
But just then I will crush my big red lips on yours and you'll push me away, maybe even slap me, saying that we shouldn't be doing this and that it's all wrong and I'll just give you that vulnerable look and tell you that its ok, I won't tell anyone, ever.
Thom:
And I just can't handle vulnerable and before I can stop myself I've pushed you against the piano and it produces a wrong chord but I don't hear it because I'm too busy shoving my tongue down your throat and I hear you whimpering and a tear rolls down my cheek because it hurts, what you do to me, but there's no way I'll be able to stop now.
Jonny:
And while you are tugging at my shirt and belt a big ugly fear is starting to crawl through my mind and I'm trying to tell you to stop, but you don't, you won't stop, you just hold my wrists firmly (it hurts) and bite my bare collarbone, and even though I'm now sobbing and begging I'm still so very hard turned on.
Thom:
You're trying to fight me but I know it's only half-hearted and when I hold down your wrists against the piano I'm really not being too forceful. But when I let go of one hand to rake up your shirt you shove me hard and belt for the door. My reflexes are good and I manage to grab your arm and pin you against it. I whisper in your ear that I know you want to and that it's ok, don't be afraid, and then you're kissing me back and your hands are travelling down my spine. I grind our hips together and when I hear you let out a low moan I feel so proud for having you here under my hands, quivering for me the way you always did when I dreamed about this moment.
Jonny:
All I really want at this very moment is for you to be satisfied and I will do absolutely anything to accomplish that. I'm trying to stay focused, but all of those sleepless nights of thinking about this moment weren't enough to prepare me for your hot wet tongue traveling down my stomach and just when I'm about to be lost completely to your touch, there's a knock on the door.
Thom:
We look at each other, you in panic, I in mere annoyance, and compose ourselves quickly before a dark head appears from behind the door. It's Colin, of course it's him, and I quickly glance back at you. From your flushed face, ragged breathing and red puffy lips anyone could guess what we were doing, but you duck your head and scurry off towards your guitar, still lying on the floor. I look back at Colin, whose eyebrows have dropped an inch and are now settled in a frown, eyes narrowed and piercing. I try to think quickly but excitement is still clouding my brain.
Jonny:
I'm trying to concentrate on my guitar and to wear my most innocent face but Colin's gaze is still darting between us two until he finally speaks: "What the fuck is going on here?!" I raise my head to look at him, his face is red and his fists are clenched and I think I can almost hear his heartbeat as he's walking in your direction, stopping only when your noses are nearly touching. You don't seem as nervous as I think you should be, you know just like me what my big brother is capable of when he's upset. You look him in the eye and speak but what you are saying doesn't sink in my system until I can see Colin gazing at me with an odd look, something gray and alarming in his eyes. Then I realize what I just heard:
"You can stay if you want, Coz."
Thom:
It's a tactic. He can either go completely mad and then I can say that I just meant that we were done with the audition anyway, or he can grow silent or confused and I'll know what he's thinking. You're turning even more red. I can hear you swallowing. I look up at Colin, inches away, trying to read his expression.
Jonny:
Colin is looking at you like he can read every last dirty thought you ever had. You are just standing there, trying not to blink, not to make a sound and the both of you are starting to look like two cats in the middle of a quarrel, just before all hell breaks loose. Colin moves first, and he moves fast. Before any of us even notices he's got your arm twisted behind your back and his lips and teeth on your neck and I can see your open mouth and your wide eyes and I want to do something but I'm paralyzed, I can't move.
Thom:
I'm caught off guard by Colin's attack. He's kissing me almost violently, and I realise he was just jealous of what he saw when he came in. He's angry, not because of an instinctive urge to protect you, but because I chose you over him. But it looks like I didn't choose after all, because he's calling you. Asking you if you could come over here, while he's scraping his stubble along my cheek and fondling me between my legs. I'm panting already, and instead of crawling away in a dark corner, like I thought you would, you're actually obeying your brother.
Jonny:
The expression on your face as I'm approaching you is somewhere between complete disbelief and horror, but knowing you so well lets me see also the little spark of adventure in your eyes. Colin is holding you still and you don't seem very eager to move away as I'm starting to undo your belt, very slowly, just like I know Colin wants me to. My fingers are brushing swiftly against your belly and you shiver, still panting hard, so beautiful and challenging, and I'm starting to wonder if you're ready for this, ready for me. For us.
Thom:
You're on your knees in front of me, and something in the back of my mind is screaming that there's something seriously wrong with this, but when I look at you I see that your expression isn't one of repulsion, neither of vulnerability. No, it radiates eagerness and submission. And something wicked. With a jolt I realise that you two do seem very comfortable around each other, and right before I'm taken over by a feeling of pure bliss the image of you both together flashes across my mind. The wrongness of it, and of this, excites me to an almost painful level.
Jonny:
I'm pulling down your jeans along with your boxers and I can see the contrast between your expression which is still full of horror and your fully erect cock, between your trembling lower lip and your longing eyes. Each part of your body is telling a different story, but I know the truth. Colin has told me all about you, every last little trick, I know exactly where to touch to make you moan. The sound that escapes your mouth as I'm licking up your inner thigh is not really a moan though, it's more of a repressed whimper and as I'm raising my eyes to meet Colin's I can see a smile of satisfaction on his face which still lingers in my vision as I close my eyes and take you all the way in.
Thom:
As I'm looking down I still can't believe my eyes. At this moment you're nothing like the Jonny I thought I knew. You've boldly shoved my trousers down and as you look up at Colin I can see him smiling. Thoughts cloud my mind but they quickly vanish when you engulf me completely. The things you're doing with your mouth are making my eyes roll back into my skull, but before I can give voice to what I'm feeling, Colin's lips have seized mine and I'm moaning into his mouth. At that moment you do something with your tongue and in a split second I realise what's going on. It's a trick Colin used to do to me, back when we were together. There's no way you could know about that if it wasn't for Colin. I'm starting to wonder exactly how close the two of you are.
Jonny:
You are devoting your body entirely to me, just like Colin said you would and I don't know who it is I'm really trying to satisfy now. Is it you, franticly moving against me, under my absolute control or is it Colin whose gesturing me to stop. I stop abruptly and I can hear your amazed cry but my eyes are still on Colin. I get up and kiss your open mouth and then I leave you longing for my touch once again just to enjoy the expression of total disbelief on your face as I proceed to kiss your best friend, my brother.
Thom:
My mouth is hanging open as I dumbly stare at you two devouring each other right in front of me and in the most sensual way imagineable. You're both so comfortable around each other, eyes closed when you're not peeking at me, hands wandering along cheeks, gripping hips and hair. I can catch a glimpse of tongue. It's so obscene but I'm hard beyond belief and I can't not do anything about it. Somehow I think you wouldn't approve, so I try to do it unnoticed. I start stroking myself slowly, taking it all in. This is obviously for me, and I can't think of one thing I did to deserve all this.
Jonny:
Colin is pulling away all of a sudden, rage on his face as he's grasping your hands, pushing you against the door. "Did I say you could touch yourself?" You are looking at him, confused, and start mumbling a response. Colin is holding you firmly, I can see it hurts, his forehead is against yours as he's speaking very silently. "From now on, I make the rules around here, got it?" You nod but Colin is not convinced yet, and he's calling my name, telling me to pick up your belt from the floor and hand it to him. I hand him the belt and he's spinning you around, wrapping it around your hands behind your back, a little smile on his lips. "That's the punishment for touching yourself without permission." You look at me and I nod. I think you are beginning to enjoy this.
Thom:
I thought I couldn't get more aroused. Wrong. Colin is tying my hands on my back with my own belt, swearing under his breath. I can't see you but hear you breathing behind me. Colin kicks me in the back of the knees and I fall on them, hissing with pain. He commands you to remove my jeans and shoes while he rips away at my shirt. In a matter of seconds I'm stark naked and completely vulnerable on my knees in front of you. Colin starts saying something and I have to concentrate to hear what he's saying, my mind swimming with raw desire.
"My my, Thommy. Aren't you looking beautiful right now? I'd do you again in a heartbeat. But, fair is fair, I think, you and me was a long time ago. Besides, I think my little brother here needs it more than I do." I hear your breath hitch and mine involuntarily does the same.
"Would you like that, Thom," Colin's asking, "would you show him how it's done? You know, I'd do it, but it wouldn't be the same, you know, you're the one he's in love with."
Jonny:
I can hear Colin's words but I can't digest them. How does he know? Why is he telling you this? And what the hell does he mean by that? I stare at him for a moment and he gives me a reassuring look. "It's ok, Jon, I understand." I think my face is turning crimson because Colin lets out a loud laugh, grabbing me and pulling me into a hug. He whispers in my ear- "I'm not a fool Jon- Jon. I see the way you look at him." He's pulling my shirt above my head and I hear you sighing deeply while he's tracing a finger down my dark treasure trail and starts undoing the buttons of my jeans. One button at a time. "You can have him, Jonny."
I walk over to you, you're so fragile and desperate for my touch. I get down on my knees and pull you closer, biting your lips until I can taste blood. You're mine now Thom Yorke. Did you hear that? Mine.
Thom:
I can't believe my ears. You're in love with me? My heart jumps a little and I feel like a teenager all over again. I want to ask you so many questions, but you've already claimed my mouth with yours and I don't complain. You kiss me as if your life depended on it, pushing our heads and chests firmly together. You breathe out deeply through your nose and the warm air tickles my skin. Suddenly Colin pulls at your shoulder and nods towards the couch. You understand, pulling me up under my armpits and leading me towards it. Unable to use my hands to sit down gracefully, I slump onto the couch and a second later you're hovering over me, one knee on each side of my thighs. Your groin is right in front of my face and I lick my lips in anticipation. I'm ready.
Jonny:
You seem calmer now, the new situation has sunk in and you're becoming comfortable with it, I can tell by the way you are licking your swollen lips, looking up at me in mere anticipation and I'm grabbing the back of your head with both my palms, pulling you over until I am filling you completely. The tip of my erection is hitting the back of your throat and a beautiful shiver is running through my body, causing me to close my eyes and moan your name. I'm letting you take over and you are picking up a pace, you are good at this, even better than Colin said you'd be. I can feel it coming and I'm looking down at you, the sight of your lips wrapped around me is enough push me over the edge. My mind is empty at that moment, nothing but this amazing sensation that is occupying every last inch of me. You're still not letting go but I'm slowly moving away, I have other plans for you now. There's something I need you to do for me.
Thom:
You're moving away and I reach after you but you put your hand on my chest, pushing me back against the couch. You stand up and Colin walks up in front of you and kneels down. For a split second I think he's going to have another go at you himself. But he pulls your jeans down and off together with your boxers. Completely naked except for one old leather bracelet, you come back to me, but Colin grabs your arm. He whispers something in your ear whilst slowly caressing your back. I notice that the sensation is making your nipples harden. I feel a strong urge to bite them, but I'm helpless over here. I see you nodding and pulling Colin in for another kiss and I have to bite my lip hard not to whimper because it's making my cock ache. You do notice, though, because you turn your head and smile at me. I look at you with pleading eyes, hoping you'll get the message, and eventually you do. Before I know it, you're straddling me, pressing your body into mine. Our cocks are touching, but not enough to get me off, so I start moving my hips.
Jonny:
I have to pull your head back using your hair to calm you down. You moan in pain and I kiss you, whispering into your lips. "Be patient, baby." I'm laying you down on the couch, positioning myself over you. I find the exact angle and start lowering myself down, my hands on your chest as I hear you pant and moan. You can't tear your eyes away from my face and I realize my mouth is wide open and my hair is covering my eyes, sticking to my forehead.
I waited so long for this moment, the moment you'll penetrate me and claim me as your own, and it's perfect, everything about it is unbelievably perfect. You, all tied and wrapped just for me, Colin, looking at us with satisfied eyes, touching himself. I know he's proud of me.
I can't see you or Colin anymore, all I can see are stars, stars of insane pleasure, of domination and claiming, of longing and satisfaction. "Thom." I say your name, just to know how it feels like to roll it over my tongue in this precise moment and I think it's affecting you deeply, because I can feel you starting to shiver under me.
Thom:
I want to keep my eyes open, I'm trying my utmost, mostly because I'm convinced that the sight of you here, coming undone on top of me, is enough to masturbate to for the rest of my life. My hands are digging into my back, and I think that it's the pain of it that keeps me focused on you. Our thighs are brushing softly as you move. I can't help but buck my hips every time you come down, drive myself further into you, and when I see you wrap one hand around your cock and slowly start pleasuring yourself, I lose control. My eyes squeeze shut and my mouth opens. In my mind I look down on us, see you ride me, see Colin in the other chair looking at us approvingly, and another gulf of pleasure washes over me. When I open my eyes again, you're frowning, your expression a mixture of pleasure and pain, and I wonder how you can take this. Suddenly, you stop and slowly get up. I slide out of you and a whimper escapes from my throat as cold air laps around my sensitive skin. At first I don't understand why, but then I hear you ask Colin to untie me. Your head moves closer to mine and just before our lips meet, you whisper "I want you to do it, Thom. I want you to fuck me proper, not forced or anything. Show me how you want it."
Jonny:
I'm about to remind you to breathe, because I think you've stopped for a little too long, but then your red lips curl into a smile and my heart starts pounding even harder than before. It's finally going to happen, after I've been dreaming about it for so long. Colin has prepared me for this moment but I'm still a little nervous as he's untying you. He's giving you an intense look before he's letting you go, whispering in your ear, but I can hear what he's saying: "You're a lucky person, Thommy. My little brother, he's not like everyone else. Forget about all the miserable bastards you fucked so far. My brother, he's special...he's...You'll see." and he's looking at me and smiling, scanning me from head to toe with his eyes. I'm shivering now, with excitement and anticipation and lust, and I just can't wait to feel you moving inside me again.
Thom:
This is supposed to be so wrong but Colin's words are turning me on beyond belief. His lips are softly brushing my ear and I feel a shiver running down my spine. Before I can stop myself, I'm turning towards his face, covering his lips with mine. I murmur a soft 'Thank you' against them and invade his mouth with my tongue, thanking him thoroughly for the last time. When we break apart, I notice you staring intently at us. I can't spot a hint of jealousy, just pure fascination. My God, you're beautiful. I stare up at you in awe for a second before pulling you down with me and quickly flipping you over onto your back. Surprise turns into a devilish grin as I climb on top of you, pressing our bodies together, the beginning of chest hair tickling my stomach. Our erections are brushing and it's making you gasp. I scoot a little lower and let mine rub against your underside, and it's as though I was asking for permission. I feel humble now, grateful for you lying here under me, completely mine. All I can think of is pleasing you maximally because you deserve nothing less. We look into each other's eyes and your mouth opens slightly. "Please," you whisper.
Jonny:
"Please" is all I manage to say, but there's so much more I want to. I want to tell you I love you, I want to tell you I belong to you, I want to tell you how good your lips feel on my chest, your tongue around my nipple your and hand on my thigh. But all I can say is "please", please enter me again because every moment with you not inside me seems to last forever now. I wrap my legs around you and plead you with my body. My hands are saying 'I need you' and my arching neck is saying 'I can't wait' and my lips are saying "fuck me" and you do, with one swift movement you're inside me again and I no longer have to say anything, so I just moan and pant. You stop and I think I'm about to explode because your movement is keeping me alive. But then I realize you were just changing the angle and when you start moving again, I'm falling off the edge, a sort of pleasure not familiar to me is taking over me and I start screaming because that's the only thing I can do. I scream your name, I scream god's name, I think I even scream my brother's name, the sensation of you hitting that spot is turning me inside out and I want you to live inside me forever, I don't ever want you to leave.
Thom:
Holy mother of christ. If you could fuck yourself, Jonny. If only you could. It's the best thing in the world, it must be. I know what I said about pleasing you, but fuck if I'm not enjoying it myself. I'm not sure if your moving and writhing under me is coincidental or deliberately calculated to make me feel even better. Your hands are wandering down my sweaty back and messing up my hair, while your legs are slung around my waist, enclosing me, pushing me further into you every time I move. When I finally start hitting your prostate your eyes are rolling into your skull and my god you're loud. I have to admit that I hadn't seen that in you, but I love it. I love the fact that I can make you scream. Jonny Greenwood, the personification of bashfulness, screaming his lungs out because of me. I can't hold back much longer now. It's building up inside me and I have to close my eyes because watching you will only make me get there faster. I can hear you getting closer and closer and all I want now is for us to come together, so I bite my lip until you start shaking. I'm slowing down, but penetrate you hard and deep and my hand around your cock wasn't even that necessary, really, because you're at the brink of orgasm. When you finally let go, you're practically clenching around my cock and now it's my time to get loud. I start cumming as well, losing it completely, and I briefly wonder if the reason why it feels this good is because I've anticipated this moment for so long.
Colin:
I knew this moment would come eventually. Ever since I started noticing the way you looked at him, the manner in which you turned red every time his name was even mentioned, I just knew I would have to let go of you, give you away. But now I realize just how well things have turned out for the two of you. I can see why it would work. Better than with me, anyway. And, hey, I get to watch, so things didn't turn out too bad for me either.
It takes the two of you a fair amount of time to relax and I silently watch from my spot as you start showing signs of life. I get up and walk in your direction, you're both so beautiful like that- naked and undone, wrapped in the arms of each other. There is almost a cosmic power in that image.
As I approach, you look up, your blond spikey hair pointing in various directions. You look utterly sated. So obviously I'm not expecting such a quick move. You grab me by the belt and pull me down onto the couch with you. You both scoot and let me lie down with you. You pull me over and kiss me on the lips, I can feel the gratefulness on them, but I pull away sharply. I see you gazing at me, puzzled. I look at Jonny and he has the exact same look he always had when I took away one of his toys. I brush that sight away and turn back to you. "Don't think I'll make this easy on you, Yorke."
You're about to say something, but I cut you off. "You can't have us both, so don't try anything." You look like you've just been slapped. Maybe that was a little... "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to sound like that. But it's true. I'm going to go now, but I want you to promise me one thing."
You stare at me and I can almost hear your heartbeat as concern is crawling into your eyes. “Sure Coz, what is it?” I wait another minute before I speak, to let you drown in your own speculations. “Jonny seems to be in love with you. I can’t do much about that. What I can do, is make you promise that you’ll never even think about hurting him, and you know exactly what I mean by that, don’t you?” You nod in silence.
“Don’t you dare testing me, Yorke.”
Now Jonny jumps in. "Coz, I can speak for myself, really. But thank you. For everything, I mean it." Jonny manages to get out of your grip and hugs me tightly. I don't say anything and just cling to him. I'm feeling oddly at peace now.
You start moving uncomfortably and Jonny senses you and turns back to you to ask what’s wrong. You pull him closer and whisper something in his ear and I can’t hear what you say even though we’re all so close. I try to learn the expression on my brother’s face as he’s listening to you. He just smiles and nods, kissing you lightly before he turns back to me. Without saying a word he pulls me closer, covering my lips with his, and I realize this might be the last time I get to taste him like that.
We kiss slowly, thoroughly, and I hear you stop breathing. I smile and pull Jonny even closer on top of me until I hear you gasp. "Feel free to eh... to mess around with us from time to time," you stammer out, not able to take your eyes off us, and I smile. I feel Jonny already snaking his hand between my thighs. I think I'll stay just a little while longer.
Dorien:
Awesome! You can join my cover band (Actually I should've let you beg some more and ask your brother to help you get in good graces with me and start with the harmonica.
Lee:
I can beg and be all young and enthusiastic and skinny and swish my hair a lot and be all oblivious and unaware of my youthful sexiness and... I'm sorry, what were we talking about again?
Dorien:
Maybe you should show me what you can do on the piano while I sit behind you watching you tremble and sweat and give harsh comments that totally give away that I'm really just as nervous and then I'd pour us another drink, planning on getting us both drunk enough so we can blame whatever will happen on the alcohol.
Thom:
And then we'd talk about your taste in music and you'd try to say the right things and rub your lips nervously but to me it'd just look extremely obscene and the last thing I can think is that this is so very wrong on so many levels and I should get the hell out of here before something happens.
Jonny:
But just then I will crush my big red lips on yours and you'll push me away, maybe even slap me, saying that we shouldn't be doing this and that it's all wrong and I'll just give you that vulnerable look and tell you that its ok, I won't tell anyone, ever.
Thom:
And I just can't handle vulnerable and before I can stop myself I've pushed you against the piano and it produces a wrong chord but I don't hear it because I'm too busy shoving my tongue down your throat and I hear you whimpering and a tear rolls down my cheek because it hurts, what you do to me, but there's no way I'll be able to stop now.
Jonny:
And while you are tugging at my shirt and belt a big ugly fear is starting to crawl through my mind and I'm trying to tell you to stop, but you don't, you won't stop, you just hold my wrists firmly (it hurts) and bite my bare collarbone, and even though I'm now sobbing and begging I'm still so very hard turned on.
Thom:
You're trying to fight me but I know it's only half-hearted and when I hold down your wrists against the piano I'm really not being too forceful. But when I let go of one hand to rake up your shirt you shove me hard and belt for the door. My reflexes are good and I manage to grab your arm and pin you against it. I whisper in your ear that I know you want to and that it's ok, don't be afraid, and then you're kissing me back and your hands are travelling down my spine. I grind our hips together and when I hear you let out a low moan I feel so proud for having you here under my hands, quivering for me the way you always did when I dreamed about this moment.
Jonny:
All I really want at this very moment is for you to be satisfied and I will do absolutely anything to accomplish that. I'm trying to stay focused, but all of those sleepless nights of thinking about this moment weren't enough to prepare me for your hot wet tongue traveling down my stomach and just when I'm about to be lost completely to your touch, there's a knock on the door.
Thom:
We look at each other, you in panic, I in mere annoyance, and compose ourselves quickly before a dark head appears from behind the door. It's Colin, of course it's him, and I quickly glance back at you. From your flushed face, ragged breathing and red puffy lips anyone could guess what we were doing, but you duck your head and scurry off towards your guitar, still lying on the floor. I look back at Colin, whose eyebrows have dropped an inch and are now settled in a frown, eyes narrowed and piercing. I try to think quickly but excitement is still clouding my brain.
Jonny:
I'm trying to concentrate on my guitar and to wear my most innocent face but Colin's gaze is still darting between us two until he finally speaks: "What the fuck is going on here?!" I raise my head to look at him, his face is red and his fists are clenched and I think I can almost hear his heartbeat as he's walking in your direction, stopping only when your noses are nearly touching. You don't seem as nervous as I think you should be, you know just like me what my big brother is capable of when he's upset. You look him in the eye and speak but what you are saying doesn't sink in my system until I can see Colin gazing at me with an odd look, something gray and alarming in his eyes. Then I realize what I just heard:
"You can stay if you want, Coz."
Thom:
It's a tactic. He can either go completely mad and then I can say that I just meant that we were done with the audition anyway, or he can grow silent or confused and I'll know what he's thinking. You're turning even more red. I can hear you swallowing. I look up at Colin, inches away, trying to read his expression.
Jonny:
Colin is looking at you like he can read every last dirty thought you ever had. You are just standing there, trying not to blink, not to make a sound and the both of you are starting to look like two cats in the middle of a quarrel, just before all hell breaks loose. Colin moves first, and he moves fast. Before any of us even notices he's got your arm twisted behind your back and his lips and teeth on your neck and I can see your open mouth and your wide eyes and I want to do something but I'm paralyzed, I can't move.
Thom:
I'm caught off guard by Colin's attack. He's kissing me almost violently, and I realise he was just jealous of what he saw when he came in. He's angry, not because of an instinctive urge to protect you, but because I chose you over him. But it looks like I didn't choose after all, because he's calling you. Asking you if you could come over here, while he's scraping his stubble along my cheek and fondling me between my legs. I'm panting already, and instead of crawling away in a dark corner, like I thought you would, you're actually obeying your brother.
Jonny:
The expression on your face as I'm approaching you is somewhere between complete disbelief and horror, but knowing you so well lets me see also the little spark of adventure in your eyes. Colin is holding you still and you don't seem very eager to move away as I'm starting to undo your belt, very slowly, just like I know Colin wants me to. My fingers are brushing swiftly against your belly and you shiver, still panting hard, so beautiful and challenging, and I'm starting to wonder if you're ready for this, ready for me. For us.
Thom:
You're on your knees in front of me, and something in the back of my mind is screaming that there's something seriously wrong with this, but when I look at you I see that your expression isn't one of repulsion, neither of vulnerability. No, it radiates eagerness and submission. And something wicked. With a jolt I realise that you two do seem very comfortable around each other, and right before I'm taken over by a feeling of pure bliss the image of you both together flashes across my mind. The wrongness of it, and of this, excites me to an almost painful level.
Jonny:
I'm pulling down your jeans along with your boxers and I can see the contrast between your expression which is still full of horror and your fully erect cock, between your trembling lower lip and your longing eyes. Each part of your body is telling a different story, but I know the truth. Colin has told me all about you, every last little trick, I know exactly where to touch to make you moan. The sound that escapes your mouth as I'm licking up your inner thigh is not really a moan though, it's more of a repressed whimper and as I'm raising my eyes to meet Colin's I can see a smile of satisfaction on his face which still lingers in my vision as I close my eyes and take you all the way in.
Thom:
As I'm looking down I still can't believe my eyes. At this moment you're nothing like the Jonny I thought I knew. You've boldly shoved my trousers down and as you look up at Colin I can see him smiling. Thoughts cloud my mind but they quickly vanish when you engulf me completely. The things you're doing with your mouth are making my eyes roll back into my skull, but before I can give voice to what I'm feeling, Colin's lips have seized mine and I'm moaning into his mouth. At that moment you do something with your tongue and in a split second I realise what's going on. It's a trick Colin used to do to me, back when we were together. There's no way you could know about that if it wasn't for Colin. I'm starting to wonder exactly how close the two of you are.
Jonny:
You are devoting your body entirely to me, just like Colin said you would and I don't know who it is I'm really trying to satisfy now. Is it you, franticly moving against me, under my absolute control or is it Colin whose gesturing me to stop. I stop abruptly and I can hear your amazed cry but my eyes are still on Colin. I get up and kiss your open mouth and then I leave you longing for my touch once again just to enjoy the expression of total disbelief on your face as I proceed to kiss your best friend, my brother.
Thom:
My mouth is hanging open as I dumbly stare at you two devouring each other right in front of me and in the most sensual way imagineable. You're both so comfortable around each other, eyes closed when you're not peeking at me, hands wandering along cheeks, gripping hips and hair. I can catch a glimpse of tongue. It's so obscene but I'm hard beyond belief and I can't not do anything about it. Somehow I think you wouldn't approve, so I try to do it unnoticed. I start stroking myself slowly, taking it all in. This is obviously for me, and I can't think of one thing I did to deserve all this.
Jonny:
Colin is pulling away all of a sudden, rage on his face as he's grasping your hands, pushing you against the door. "Did I say you could touch yourself?" You are looking at him, confused, and start mumbling a response. Colin is holding you firmly, I can see it hurts, his forehead is against yours as he's speaking very silently. "From now on, I make the rules around here, got it?" You nod but Colin is not convinced yet, and he's calling my name, telling me to pick up your belt from the floor and hand it to him. I hand him the belt and he's spinning you around, wrapping it around your hands behind your back, a little smile on his lips. "That's the punishment for touching yourself without permission." You look at me and I nod. I think you are beginning to enjoy this.
Thom:
I thought I couldn't get more aroused. Wrong. Colin is tying my hands on my back with my own belt, swearing under his breath. I can't see you but hear you breathing behind me. Colin kicks me in the back of the knees and I fall on them, hissing with pain. He commands you to remove my jeans and shoes while he rips away at my shirt. In a matter of seconds I'm stark naked and completely vulnerable on my knees in front of you. Colin starts saying something and I have to concentrate to hear what he's saying, my mind swimming with raw desire.
"My my, Thommy. Aren't you looking beautiful right now? I'd do you again in a heartbeat. But, fair is fair, I think, you and me was a long time ago. Besides, I think my little brother here needs it more than I do." I hear your breath hitch and mine involuntarily does the same.
"Would you like that, Thom," Colin's asking, "would you show him how it's done? You know, I'd do it, but it wouldn't be the same, you know, you're the one he's in love with."
Jonny:
I can hear Colin's words but I can't digest them. How does he know? Why is he telling you this? And what the hell does he mean by that? I stare at him for a moment and he gives me a reassuring look. "It's ok, Jon, I understand." I think my face is turning crimson because Colin lets out a loud laugh, grabbing me and pulling me into a hug. He whispers in my ear- "I'm not a fool Jon- Jon. I see the way you look at him." He's pulling my shirt above my head and I hear you sighing deeply while he's tracing a finger down my dark treasure trail and starts undoing the buttons of my jeans. One button at a time. "You can have him, Jonny."
I walk over to you, you're so fragile and desperate for my touch. I get down on my knees and pull you closer, biting your lips until I can taste blood. You're mine now Thom Yorke. Did you hear that? Mine.
Thom:
I can't believe my ears. You're in love with me? My heart jumps a little and I feel like a teenager all over again. I want to ask you so many questions, but you've already claimed my mouth with yours and I don't complain. You kiss me as if your life depended on it, pushing our heads and chests firmly together. You breathe out deeply through your nose and the warm air tickles my skin. Suddenly Colin pulls at your shoulder and nods towards the couch. You understand, pulling me up under my armpits and leading me towards it. Unable to use my hands to sit down gracefully, I slump onto the couch and a second later you're hovering over me, one knee on each side of my thighs. Your groin is right in front of my face and I lick my lips in anticipation. I'm ready.
Jonny:
You seem calmer now, the new situation has sunk in and you're becoming comfortable with it, I can tell by the way you are licking your swollen lips, looking up at me in mere anticipation and I'm grabbing the back of your head with both my palms, pulling you over until I am filling you completely. The tip of my erection is hitting the back of your throat and a beautiful shiver is running through my body, causing me to close my eyes and moan your name. I'm letting you take over and you are picking up a pace, you are good at this, even better than Colin said you'd be. I can feel it coming and I'm looking down at you, the sight of your lips wrapped around me is enough push me over the edge. My mind is empty at that moment, nothing but this amazing sensation that is occupying every last inch of me. You're still not letting go but I'm slowly moving away, I have other plans for you now. There's something I need you to do for me.
Thom:
You're moving away and I reach after you but you put your hand on my chest, pushing me back against the couch. You stand up and Colin walks up in front of you and kneels down. For a split second I think he's going to have another go at you himself. But he pulls your jeans down and off together with your boxers. Completely naked except for one old leather bracelet, you come back to me, but Colin grabs your arm. He whispers something in your ear whilst slowly caressing your back. I notice that the sensation is making your nipples harden. I feel a strong urge to bite them, but I'm helpless over here. I see you nodding and pulling Colin in for another kiss and I have to bite my lip hard not to whimper because it's making my cock ache. You do notice, though, because you turn your head and smile at me. I look at you with pleading eyes, hoping you'll get the message, and eventually you do. Before I know it, you're straddling me, pressing your body into mine. Our cocks are touching, but not enough to get me off, so I start moving my hips.
Jonny:
I have to pull your head back using your hair to calm you down. You moan in pain and I kiss you, whispering into your lips. "Be patient, baby." I'm laying you down on the couch, positioning myself over you. I find the exact angle and start lowering myself down, my hands on your chest as I hear you pant and moan. You can't tear your eyes away from my face and I realize my mouth is wide open and my hair is covering my eyes, sticking to my forehead.
I waited so long for this moment, the moment you'll penetrate me and claim me as your own, and it's perfect, everything about it is unbelievably perfect. You, all tied and wrapped just for me, Colin, looking at us with satisfied eyes, touching himself. I know he's proud of me.
I can't see you or Colin anymore, all I can see are stars, stars of insane pleasure, of domination and claiming, of longing and satisfaction. "Thom." I say your name, just to know how it feels like to roll it over my tongue in this precise moment and I think it's affecting you deeply, because I can feel you starting to shiver under me.
Thom:
I want to keep my eyes open, I'm trying my utmost, mostly because I'm convinced that the sight of you here, coming undone on top of me, is enough to masturbate to for the rest of my life. My hands are digging into my back, and I think that it's the pain of it that keeps me focused on you. Our thighs are brushing softly as you move. I can't help but buck my hips every time you come down, drive myself further into you, and when I see you wrap one hand around your cock and slowly start pleasuring yourself, I lose control. My eyes squeeze shut and my mouth opens. In my mind I look down on us, see you ride me, see Colin in the other chair looking at us approvingly, and another gulf of pleasure washes over me. When I open my eyes again, you're frowning, your expression a mixture of pleasure and pain, and I wonder how you can take this. Suddenly, you stop and slowly get up. I slide out of you and a whimper escapes from my throat as cold air laps around my sensitive skin. At first I don't understand why, but then I hear you ask Colin to untie me. Your head moves closer to mine and just before our lips meet, you whisper "I want you to do it, Thom. I want you to fuck me proper, not forced or anything. Show me how you want it."
Jonny:
I'm about to remind you to breathe, because I think you've stopped for a little too long, but then your red lips curl into a smile and my heart starts pounding even harder than before. It's finally going to happen, after I've been dreaming about it for so long. Colin has prepared me for this moment but I'm still a little nervous as he's untying you. He's giving you an intense look before he's letting you go, whispering in your ear, but I can hear what he's saying: "You're a lucky person, Thommy. My little brother, he's not like everyone else. Forget about all the miserable bastards you fucked so far. My brother, he's special...he's...You'll see." and he's looking at me and smiling, scanning me from head to toe with his eyes. I'm shivering now, with excitement and anticipation and lust, and I just can't wait to feel you moving inside me again.
Thom:
This is supposed to be so wrong but Colin's words are turning me on beyond belief. His lips are softly brushing my ear and I feel a shiver running down my spine. Before I can stop myself, I'm turning towards his face, covering his lips with mine. I murmur a soft 'Thank you' against them and invade his mouth with my tongue, thanking him thoroughly for the last time. When we break apart, I notice you staring intently at us. I can't spot a hint of jealousy, just pure fascination. My God, you're beautiful. I stare up at you in awe for a second before pulling you down with me and quickly flipping you over onto your back. Surprise turns into a devilish grin as I climb on top of you, pressing our bodies together, the beginning of chest hair tickling my stomach. Our erections are brushing and it's making you gasp. I scoot a little lower and let mine rub against your underside, and it's as though I was asking for permission. I feel humble now, grateful for you lying here under me, completely mine. All I can think of is pleasing you maximally because you deserve nothing less. We look into each other's eyes and your mouth opens slightly. "Please," you whisper.
Jonny:
"Please" is all I manage to say, but there's so much more I want to. I want to tell you I love you, I want to tell you I belong to you, I want to tell you how good your lips feel on my chest, your tongue around my nipple your and hand on my thigh. But all I can say is "please", please enter me again because every moment with you not inside me seems to last forever now. I wrap my legs around you and plead you with my body. My hands are saying 'I need you' and my arching neck is saying 'I can't wait' and my lips are saying "fuck me" and you do, with one swift movement you're inside me again and I no longer have to say anything, so I just moan and pant. You stop and I think I'm about to explode because your movement is keeping me alive. But then I realize you were just changing the angle and when you start moving again, I'm falling off the edge, a sort of pleasure not familiar to me is taking over me and I start screaming because that's the only thing I can do. I scream your name, I scream god's name, I think I even scream my brother's name, the sensation of you hitting that spot is turning me inside out and I want you to live inside me forever, I don't ever want you to leave.
Thom:
Holy mother of christ. If you could fuck yourself, Jonny. If only you could. It's the best thing in the world, it must be. I know what I said about pleasing you, but fuck if I'm not enjoying it myself. I'm not sure if your moving and writhing under me is coincidental or deliberately calculated to make me feel even better. Your hands are wandering down my sweaty back and messing up my hair, while your legs are slung around my waist, enclosing me, pushing me further into you every time I move. When I finally start hitting your prostate your eyes are rolling into your skull and my god you're loud. I have to admit that I hadn't seen that in you, but I love it. I love the fact that I can make you scream. Jonny Greenwood, the personification of bashfulness, screaming his lungs out because of me. I can't hold back much longer now. It's building up inside me and I have to close my eyes because watching you will only make me get there faster. I can hear you getting closer and closer and all I want now is for us to come together, so I bite my lip until you start shaking. I'm slowing down, but penetrate you hard and deep and my hand around your cock wasn't even that necessary, really, because you're at the brink of orgasm. When you finally let go, you're practically clenching around my cock and now it's my time to get loud. I start cumming as well, losing it completely, and I briefly wonder if the reason why it feels this good is because I've anticipated this moment for so long.
Colin:
I knew this moment would come eventually. Ever since I started noticing the way you looked at him, the manner in which you turned red every time his name was even mentioned, I just knew I would have to let go of you, give you away. But now I realize just how well things have turned out for the two of you. I can see why it would work. Better than with me, anyway. And, hey, I get to watch, so things didn't turn out too bad for me either.
It takes the two of you a fair amount of time to relax and I silently watch from my spot as you start showing signs of life. I get up and walk in your direction, you're both so beautiful like that- naked and undone, wrapped in the arms of each other. There is almost a cosmic power in that image.
As I approach, you look up, your blond spikey hair pointing in various directions. You look utterly sated. So obviously I'm not expecting such a quick move. You grab me by the belt and pull me down onto the couch with you. You both scoot and let me lie down with you. You pull me over and kiss me on the lips, I can feel the gratefulness on them, but I pull away sharply. I see you gazing at me, puzzled. I look at Jonny and he has the exact same look he always had when I took away one of his toys. I brush that sight away and turn back to you. "Don't think I'll make this easy on you, Yorke."
You're about to say something, but I cut you off. "You can't have us both, so don't try anything." You look like you've just been slapped. Maybe that was a little... "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to sound like that. But it's true. I'm going to go now, but I want you to promise me one thing."
You stare at me and I can almost hear your heartbeat as concern is crawling into your eyes. “Sure Coz, what is it?” I wait another minute before I speak, to let you drown in your own speculations. “Jonny seems to be in love with you. I can’t do much about that. What I can do, is make you promise that you’ll never even think about hurting him, and you know exactly what I mean by that, don’t you?” You nod in silence.
“Don’t you dare testing me, Yorke.”
Now Jonny jumps in. "Coz, I can speak for myself, really. But thank you. For everything, I mean it." Jonny manages to get out of your grip and hugs me tightly. I don't say anything and just cling to him. I'm feeling oddly at peace now.
You start moving uncomfortably and Jonny senses you and turns back to you to ask what’s wrong. You pull him closer and whisper something in his ear and I can’t hear what you say even though we’re all so close. I try to learn the expression on my brother’s face as he’s listening to you. He just smiles and nods, kissing you lightly before he turns back to me. Without saying a word he pulls me closer, covering my lips with his, and I realize this might be the last time I get to taste him like that.
We kiss slowly, thoroughly, and I hear you stop breathing. I smile and pull Jonny even closer on top of me until I hear you gasp. "Feel free to eh... to mess around with us from time to time," you stammer out, not able to take your eyes off us, and I smile. I feel Jonny already snaking his hand between my thighs. I think I'll stay just a little while longer.
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