A Red Santa Hat

A red Santa hat.

Jonny blinked dumbly before moving his eyes down only to be met with a sly smile plastered on a smug face.

“I thought of wearing the suit and stuffing it with a couple of pillows as well, but those bastards at the costume shop ask for 50 pounds for the whole night,” Thom licked his lips, loving the effect his sudden appearance had on Jonny, “But lookie, I’ve got the real beard. It’s not like all that artificial white stuff. This thing it’s real,” Thom stroked his stubble.

Jonny was still speechless.

“Well, judging by your reaction, I guess I should explain myself,” Thom shifted from foot to foot, “We haven’t seen each other for…erm…two months? Telephone calls aside…and well it’s Christmas Eve, and I thought ‘Hell, why wouldn’t I go to check up on that mate of mine, Jonny his name is, and why wouldn’t I bring a red Claus sac full of booze?’, and well, here I am,” Thom gazed meaningfully behind his back, indicating the clinking sac behind his shoulders.

“I thought you were going to have a party at your house tonight,” finally Jonny swallowed the ball that was troubling his breathing and produced a sound.

“I am! But you know what? Half-way through, the time when I usually look for you so we could talk, I realized you weren’t there and so I decided to ditch everybody,” Thom started to become nervous now, “Listen, um, I am not interrupting anything, am I? I mean…if there’s a gorgeous blonde in your living room, I’ll just go back, I mean it’s not a big deal really, they are probably waiting for me anyway…”

“No, the only gorgeous blonde here is you,” Jonny tried to sound jokingly, but it turned out completely wrong and they both blushed, looking down. They were silent for a moment, before Thom took a deep breathe:

“Have you got any nice glasses?”

“Yeah.”

…::…

Jonny loved the way his small dingy apartment turned into something holiday-like when Thom appeared there suddenly; they turned off the main lights and set up a coffee table, feeling it with quick snacks they managed to make and bottles that Thom brought with him. Sitting on the floor, they picked an old cheesy Christmas movie and turned the volume on, talking about nothing, just enjoying the company. Thom produced a miniature Christmas tree from the sac he brought and set it in the middle of the table.

“Where’s that from?” Jonny smiled, fingering the green plastic.

“Actually, I snatched it from the liquor store,” Thom laughed, “The owner had his back on me and I thought that it was nice and I was sure that you didn’t have a huge tree in your place, so I’ve decided to borrow that one.”

“Whoa, you sure they didn’t have any hidden cameras?”

“Oh my bloody God,” Thom’s jaw dropped, “You think they might’ve recorded it?”

“Oh yeah! Tomorrow morning, NME’s going to have an article: ‘Starving artist is forced to steal a Christmas tree.’”

“I’ll return it right now then,” Thom got up, but Jonny laughed and caught his hand in the mid-air, tackling him down to the ground again. Thom lost his balance and landed on top of Jonny’s lap with a loud “oomph”.

“Jonny,” Thom giggled, brushing Jonny’s hair away so he could see his face, “Lemme go, I have to save my dignity!”

“Oh, shut up,” Jonny smiled at him lovingly, circling his waist with his arms, “It’s not like it’s the biggest shock you’ve brought to the public.”

“What’s the biggest one then?” Thom smiled, straddling Jonny’s lap and putting his hands on the bigger man’s shoulders.

“Well you know, if some paparazzi was taking pictures of us now, I think it would be the biggest stunt ever,” Jonny leaned against the sofa, holding Thom in his arms, his consciousness clouded with alcohol and Thom’s close presence.

“Ooh, maybe we should give the poor guy more material,” Thom reached his hand up to stroke Jonny’s jaw line with his fingers, “D’you think he is shooting us from window of the building across?”

“Yeah, that must be it,” Jonny’s eyes darted to see Thom’s lips and his breathe hitched a little.

“Okay, so,” Thom tilted his head, moving closer to Jonny, “When we kiss, keep in mind that we have to make a nice angle for the guy.”

Jonny was nodding, the words not quite reaching his mind. He felt Thom’s hand wrap around the back of his neck and then he was drawn closer to the man on top of him, their lips meeting for a small peck before they started to kiss fiercely; Thom stood on his knees, still straddling Jonny, and his hands were rubbing his shoulders, eager to feel the skin underneath the shirt. Jonny moaned quietly and pushed against Thom harder, his fingers grabbing Thom’s shirt and pulling it up a little reflexively. But just as it started, the kiss stopped abruptly, as Thom pulled away, laughing and gazing sideways, giving a finger to his imaginary photographer and shouting something. Jonny panted, his fingers still grasping Thom’s shirt. He realized that Thom’s hand was still resting on his cheek, so he turned his head a little and kissed it, savoring the feel of the warm skin against his lips, flicking it with his nose and closing his eyes to inhale the smell of Thom’s slightly damp palm.

Feeling the wet contact, Thom turned his head and looked at Jonny – his chest heaving and his face rubbing against his palm in agony. He sighed and watched the younger man for a while, his pupils dilating and heart fluttering at the eager caresses he was receiving. Finally, Jonny’s eyes opened and they looked at each other. Thom slowly settled back on Jonny’s lap, playing with his hair softly and stroking his neck and shoulders.

“The summer after we met,” Jonny caught Thom’s hand again, kissing his fingers and rubbing his cheek against them, “I walked on you while you were stretching on Colin’s bed with your eyes closed, with headphones on, your lips moving and forming the lyrics…and…something about the way one of your legs was bent at the knee and your hand on your stomach,” Jonny closed his eyes, letting his hair fall on his face, “Something about the way your hair was messy that day…something about the way you smiled at me when you told you that we were waiting for you so we could start a rehearsal,” Jonny raised his head, looking not at Thom directly, but a little to the side from his face, “And then it just kept growing.”

Jonny trailed off, a little smile forming on his lips; Thom thought he had forgotten about him, but then Jonny was playing with his fingers again, kissing them one by one and holding them in his hand before looking at Thom’s face, carefully avoiding the eye contact and tracing his features with the soft pad of his finger. His eyes narrowed in pleasure and curiosity as he stroked the soft skin that was spiky with stubble at some places. Thom noticed him biting his lip – they way a young boy would while playing with his favourite toy.

Thom moved a little and Jonny dropped his hand, blushing and looking down. “Sorry,” he mumbled through a smile, “I wanted to get as much as I could while you were in stupor. I guess we will never be that close again,” he added with a sadness in his voice, “That is, if I am allowed to see you at all,” he raised his head, looking at Thom with doomed bitterness, making their first eye contact for the evening.

“The night after our first gig,” Thom reached across to cup his face while the color drained from Jonny’s face, “I had this feeling of intense euphoria…and I remember us sitting on the sofa at that after party, our eyes closed and heads thrown back and talking complete rubbish…and I remember they way our shoulders and thighs brushed against each other and the way you slurred after a few pints. We had this,” Thom smiled, looking down for a second, “Wild connection…breathing at the same rate and thinking at the unison. And I thought the way you smelled and how I wanted to snuggle in close to you on that sofa right there in then. How nice it would be if we were together.”

Thom ducked for another quick kiss from Jonny’s unmoving lips, chuckling slightly.

“Seriously?” Jonny mumbled under his breathe, not quite believing yet.

“Yeah, seriously,” Thom smiled, “I guess, we have to make it official, eh?” he rubbed his cheek against Jonny’s, closing his eyes, “What I was trying to say was…I love you,” he whispered it in Jonny’s ear before nipping at it lightly, “Aren’t you going to anything, Jon?”

“Holy fuck,” Jonny’s eyes became huge with happiness, “Bloody shit....”

“Very romantic, Jon-Jon,” Thom smacked his shoulder playfully, “Here we have the bloody Christmas tree and the cheesy movie is on, and we are drinking and pouring our souls out, and all you can think about is profanities,” Thom pouted and Jonny kissed him as if to check if this image was still true. Thom returned the kiss and they launched another session on exploration of each other’s bodies, their sighs mingling and fingers clawing at flesh desperately.

“Okay, okay,” Jonny pulled back with a great effort, “Okay, even if it’s some kind of insane dream, I’m gonna say it,” he took Thom’s face in his hands, “I love you.”

Jonny closed his eyes as if expecting to wake up, but nothing happened. Instead, he felt a warm flick of the tongue on his lips and when he opened his eyes again he saw Thom’s smiling face.

“You know,” Thom reached back to grab two glasses of wine from the table, “I should’ve chosen a different holiday for this. Christmas is waaay overused,” he handed one glass to Jonny, “Imagine if I chose…hmmm…world vegetarian day? I’d stop by your place in a broccoli costume and advice you to eat me,” Jonny shook his head, “No? All right…Oktoberfest then? I’d make a hot Bavarian chick.”

“Bavarian chicks are not my type,” Jonny laughed, pecking Thom on the mouth.

“Who’s your type then?”

“The very bloke sitting on my lap.”

“Ah, Jonny,” Thom clinked their glasses, “I think I feel most sorry for us missing out on all the sweet talk…never mind sex and making out.”