untitled Thom/Ed

PART ONE
"What? Me?" Ed asked and looked at Thom in disbelief.
Thom did not answer and just stared at him.
"Is... is something wrong?"
Still no answer.
"Thom... really, if something is wrong, just tell me."
Thom moved closer towards Ed, his face expressionless and pale.
"Thom?" Ed begged. "Thom, tell me."
That moment, Ed realized that Thom actually was really skinny. He was wondering whether Thom had not eaten much lately or whether it was just stress or both. He used to look so young, his hair all blonde and he seemed less unhappy. He used to be so pretty, Ed wondered.
"Ed?"
"Yeah?"
"I think..."
Thom broke off and just remained standing in front of Ed. He seemed so helpless, unsure what to do.
"What? What do you think?" Ed wanted to know.
"I think..." Thom was staring at the floor and biting on his lip.
"Thom..." Ed put his arms onto Thom's shoulders and looked at his friend. Thom did not seem to like it, he helplessly tried to get out of Ed's grasp.
"Thom... what..."
Thom looked up into Ed's eyes.
"Ed. I really need to..."
"Talk to me?"
Thom nodded, his eyes focussed on Ed's lips.
"So, what... What do you want to tell me?"
"I... I..."
Ed just stared into Thom's eyes, which confused Thom even more.
"I... Ed, it is hard. I..."
"Mmh?"
"I..."
Thom put his arms, which had limply hung by his sides, onto Ed's hips. Ed gasped and closed his eyes for a second. Then he opened his eyes again and looked at Thom in concern.
"Thom... I really can't do this right now."
"Why?" Thom muttered.
"Because..." Ed was not sure what not to say.
"You don't mean that."
"Yes, I do."
Thom leaned closer towards Ed.
"Thom... I mean it."
"So... go on then. Shove me away. Do what you want."
Ed was pondering.
"What?"
"I..." Ed stopped.
"Come on."
Ed did not say anything any longer. He just looked away from Thom, slightly annoyed with the situation.
"Ed, what's the matter?"
"Please, go away."
"Why can't you just push me away? Why don't you just slap me across the face?!" Thom snarled.
"Oh, shut up. Just go away."
"Ha, yeah. Sure."
"What?"
"You can't do it. Haha."
"Sure I can," Ed said and tried to move his hands from Thom's shoulders, but he ended up leaving them where they were, which made Thom smile.
"Aw."
"Shut up..."
"So..."
"Thom."
"Edward," Thom whispered.
"Don't say that..."
"Edward... Eddie."
Ed grinned. "Yeah, I know... That's my name."
"Oh yeah, what a name."
"Thom, get over it. Just leave me alone."
Thom tightened his grip even more and moved his face up to Ed's, so that he could look directly into Ed's eyes.
"You've got really nice eyes, Edward John O'Brien."
Ed tried to back off, but was incapable to do so.
"Nah, you want to..."
"I want nothing," Ed hissed.
"Oh yes." Thom gently leaned in towards Ed, so that their bodies touched.
"Thom. Stop it. Please. Right now."
"Mmmhhhh..." Thom slowly moved his face closer to Ed's until their lips met.
Ed moaned quietly, which was muffled by Thom's lips.
Slowly, Thom raised his hands from Ed's hips and moved them up to rest on Ed's cheeks. Ed didn't pull away, he just stood there, immobile. Thom intensified the kiss, desperately standing on his heels, trying to reach Ed as good as possible.
Suddenly, Ed put his arms around Thom and pulled him up, so that he could kiss him better.
All that could be heard was their breathing and they both felt really hot. Ed passionately replied Thom's kiss, his face flushing and his knees getting weak.
Thom had forgotten the world all around him. All he could think about was Ed.
"Ed...," he mumbled and moved his lips away from Ed's. Ed put Thom down back onto the floor.
They just stood there, breathing and not knowing what to do.
"Oh Thom... That..."
"Yes..."
"That was... incredible."
Thom did not answer.
"Was that why you..."
Thom nodded.
"Oh..."
Comfortingly, Thom caressed Ed's cheeks. His hands were trembling and the rest of his body was shaking.
"Thom, it's... It's okay."
"I know... I know."
"Thom. Why are you shaking?"
Thom fell out of Ed's embrace and dropped onto the floor.
"Hey, are you okay, Thom?"
"Yeah... Yeah... I just feel a bit dizzy."
Ed kneeled down on the floor next to Thom and helped him to get up again.
"Thanks, Ed..."
With the help of Ed, Thom got back onto his feet again.
"It's okay."
Thom smiled faintly.
"Could you... Could you go, please?"
"Huh, what?" Ed asked.
"I... I am sorry."
"I don't want to leave. You seem a bit weak."
"Er, yeah... It's just..."
"You look ill, Thom. Come. What do you want? Some water?"
Thom nodded and sat down on the armchair next to him.
"I'll be back in a second, I promise."
Having said that, Ed left the room. He left Thom sitting on the armchair who looked very puzzled.

PART TWO
Thom was slowly breathing in and out. He was still listening to Ed's steps on the floor outside until they trailed off down the stairs.
His head resting on the armrest, Thom stared at the wall and reconsidered what had just happened. His whole inside was burning and he was ashamed.
Why had he approached Ed? Couldn't he have left him alone? Thom did not know. He just regretted even having come to talk to Ed. The whole situation had developed during the last few weeks. It had only been him and Ed, working on some new material because Colin and Jonny were on holiday and Phil had went to a friend in France to help him out with something.
So it was only the two of them, together about twelve hours everyday, and so Thom had discovered some aspects of Ed's personality which he had not known before. Ed was really charming and had extremely good ideas, which sped up the process enormously. Several times, Thom had told Ed how well the work was proceeding because of the effort he had made. Shyly, Ed would turn away his head with a grin all over his face.
"I can see that you are grinning," Thom had told Ed and poked him in his right arm.
The atmosphere between the two men had been perfect. Everything went well and they would return to their homes every night, telling their partners about the progress they had made.
Now Thom raised his head because he could hear Ed's footsteps on the floor outside again.
"Hey Thom. I have got you some water."
Ed smiled at Thom and handed him a bottle of water.
"Thanks," Thom mumbled and faintly grabbed the bottle. He opened it and raised it to his mouth. Slowly, he let the water drip into his throat and closed his eyes while doing that.
"Are you sure you're okay, Thom?" Ed asked concernedly.
"Yeah," Thom breathed when he had put down the bottle on the bedside table.
"Hey, come on." Ed sat down next to Thom, as good as he could with the small space provided, and embraced his friend tightly.
"Why haven't you told me earlier? I didn't know you didn't feel well."
"Oh, I do feel well..."
"Nah... Come on." Ed put his face onto Thom's, their cheeks on top of each other.
"Mmhhhh..." Thom still had his eyes closed and smiled, pressing his cheek even closer to Ed's.
"See..."
"Ed... I..."
"Yes?"
"Ah, no..." Thom went quiet.
"No, tell me."
Thom stroked along Ed's left arm and opened his mouth. "Ed... You..."
"Yes..."
"..." Thom pulled Ed closer to him and kissed his cheek.
Ed sighed quietly.
"Can you stay here tonight?"
"Yes," Ed whispered.
"Thank you."
Ed turned Thom's face to his and kissed him passionately. Thom put his arms around Ed's shoulders and replied the kiss. They just remained in the armchair, their lips on top of each other and their slow breathing being heard.
Thom felt relieved after six weeks of hard work and uneasiness. He fastened his hands around Ed's shoulder blades and pushed him against the armrest of the armchair.
In consequence, Ed let out a quiet moan and stroked through Thom's hair.
"It's late already. Let's go to bed."
"Mmhhhh... yes," Ed mumbled and let go of Thom.
"You're so pretty," Thom said and placed another kiss onto Ed's lips before getting up and walking towards the bathroom. Ed sat still in the armchair before getting up as well. He took an unsure glance around the room and then went out the door.

PART THREE

"Thom?"
The hallway outside was completely dark.
"Thom?" Ed called again and tried to make something out in the darkness. Slowly he moved forwards, carefully guiding himself with his hands along the wall.
"Thom, I... Where are you?"
Thom still did not answer. Ed got scared.
"Thom? I am scared."
Finally Ed had reached the bathroom door and slid inside. He turned on the light and was relieved to find Thom sitting on the toilet.
"Why is it dark outside in the hallway?"
"Because I like it."
"Why are you sitting here in the dark anyway?" Ed moved over to Thom and put his arms around him. "I don't want you to be unhappy."
Thom kept silent.
"Thom, please... What is wrong?"
"Ed... I... We should stop that. The guys will return soon. In a couple of days. So... We have to stop."
"Thom. You... It breaks my heart to see you like that. If it didn't sound that cheesy."
"Mmhhh..." Thom leaned his head against Ed's shoulder.
"Why... what is wrong?"
"Ed. I... I feel so guilty. I... I do like you, but..."
"What?"
Thom sighed deeply. "You... You're Ed. But... I somehow..."
"What? What's wrong with being Ed?" Ed snapped. He was a bit offended.
"No... No, don't get me wrong. It's just..."
Ed wanted to go away, but Thom grabbed his arm and pulled him back again.
"No, don't leave."
"Thom." Ed wanted to look away, but Thom was quick enough to see that Ed's eyes had gotten wet.
"Why are you crying?"
"I... Thom, that was so mean."
"No, it's not that. I know it's not. What... Do you... Do you want to..."
"Let's just go to bed, you know? I don't want to talk about it."
"Oh please...," Thom begged.
"No."
Thom kissed Ed gently and stroked along his cheek.
"Ed. I want you to be happy as well."
"Hmmm..."
"So... Yeah, let's go to sleep. I think we just need that right now."
"OK." Ed got up and went out of the bathroom, followed by Thom.
"Thom. Can't we switch the light on now?"
"No..." Thom pushed Ed against the wall and buried his head in Ed's back. "You smell nice."
"Thom. Stop that."
"Oh Ed..." Thom had closed his eyes and turned his head so that he could put his cheek against Ed.
"Thom, please. You just said it yourself. We have to go to bed."
"Oh no..." Thom embraced Ed from behind. "Let's just stay here."
"Thom..."
"Shhhh..."
Ed leaned his forehead against the wall and put his hands onto the wallpaper.
"Uuhhh... I feel my knees getting weak," Thom whispered and slowly slid down onto the floor.
"Thom... No, let me..."
"Oops, oh, sorry Ed," Thom giggled when they had finally fallen onto the floor.
"Thom..." Ed tried to get up, but Thom rested his weight on Ed, so that Ed could not move.
"Easy... It's...," Thom muttered and closed his eyes, slowly inhaling Ed's scent.
Ed stabled himself by stemming his hands against the floor.
"Thom. Get off me."
"Do you really want that?" Thom placed a kiss on Ed's neck and tickled him a bit.
"Haha, no..." As Thom had intended, Ed had started laughing, so he could kiss him again and tighten the grip around his ribcage.
"No, Thom..." Ed moaned and tried to push Thom away again.
"Ed... I... C'mon. Let's go to bed."
"What are you on about? I wanted to go to bed the whole time."
"Yeah, I know," Thom breathed and continued kissing Ed's neck.
"So... What..."
"OK." Thom rolled his eyes and got him and Ed off the floor at once. "Are you satisfied now?"
"Yes."
The two of them went back into the bedroom.
Ed nervously brushed through his hair and sat down on the bed. He was scared of Thom pinning him against the bed and looked at Thom uneasily.
"Hey, Ed. Let's go to bed." Thom giggled.
"Thom, is that really..."
"Oh yeah..." Thom sat down next to Ed and stroked through his hair.
"Aw, I love your hair, Ed."
"Oh, do you?"
"Yeah..." Thom pressed his lips against Ed's cheek. "I think I like you."
Ed felt a shiver going down his spine. "Thom... I just wanna sleep."
"I can understand that."
"Yeah, so why don't you just let me." Ed moaned and lay down on the bed, fully dressed and completely exhausted.
"Can I sleep in your arms?"
Ed raised an eyebrow. "You haven't just said that, Thom. Have you?"
"Oh yes, I have. You are so cosy." Thom cuddled up to Ed and lay his head next to Ed.
"OK... But we have to turn off the light."
"Yeah, sure..." Thom got up and pressed the light switch. "Is that better?"
"Yeah, it is." Ed buried his head in his pillow.
"But now you have to hold me."
"OK..."
"Hmmmhhh..." Thom smiled blissfully and huddled up in Ed's arms. "Good night, Ed..."
"Good night, Thom." Ed closed his eyes. But he could not fall asleep. "Thom." He opened his eyes again. "I need to talk to you."
"But you did. You had all the time to do that."
"Thom... You said we can't do that. And now..."
"Ed... I realized... Sometimes... You can do certain things only at a certain time. So... I decided for myself that I'd rather..."
"What?"
"Oh Ed, it's so weird that I feel attracted to you. I don't want to, but... You are so damn polite and... I... When I look at you while we are working on our songs... It makes me so happy."
"That's good."
"Yeah, but... Ed. You."
"Yes."
"You are lovely. Really lovely. I have never realized how lovely you are. You are nice and polite, you look good, but... I knew that. But you also have that aspect of your... personality. You... make me feel nice. I don't even know how you do it."
"Erm..."
"Ed. Kiss me. I... As stupid as that sounds. Kiss me. You... Ah... Just... Could you?"
"Erm... Okay." Ed kissed Thom quickly.
"Noooo... KISS me."
Ed rolled his eyes. "Thom, you really are a weird person. Why can't you just let me sleep?"
"But..." Thom's eyes were filling with tears. He looked like a small helpless child to Ed that moment.
"OK. OK. I will kiss you again."
"But don't pull away that quickly..."
"Yeah..." Gently, Ed kissed Thom's cheek and then moved over to his neck.
"Oh yes. Yeah, like that." Thom closed his eyes and stroked along Ed's chest.
"I feel really stupid right now," Ed mumbled in between kisses.
"Oh... Don't feel stupid." Thom rolled around to face Ed. "I enjoy it very much."
"What?"
Thom sighed. "Being with you."
"OK..."
"You look very tired. Do you want to sleep?"
Ed nodded slowly.
"Awww." Thom pushed his lips against Ed's and kissed him passionately, his hands stroking through Ed's hair and across his face.
Ed was shivering and pulled Thom even closer. Their bodies warmed each other and Thom and Ed felt really happy and safe.
"Ed. Do you love me?"
"Mmmhhh? Er..."
"Do... do you?"
"I am not sure..." Ed looked at Thom in confusion. "Do you? Do you love me?"
"I... I'm not sure." Thom laughed and kissed Ed again.
Ed joined in, laughing quietly but honestly. "I am relieved that you don't know either."
"Oh... It is such a relief that I have... Come up to you. You don't know how hard it was to wake up every morning, being scared of going back to the studio where you were. You have been really nice and... It was just perfect. I didn't even know why you scared me. Until... Today. I thought I finally had to tell you. Because... I couldn't bear it any longer. You are just too perfect, Ed," Thom blurted out.
"Oh, don't worry. It's okay," Ed assured him and gently stroked Thom's neck.
"Oh... Thank you."
"So..."
"Can we do that again, please?"
"What?!" Ed laughed.
"Hi. We're Radiohead. I'm Thom, he's Ed."
"Hahahahaha."
"Radiohead. Where's that?"
"Stop it." Ed was laughing so badly that he had to roll on the bed.
"We're not actually all Radiohead."
"Nooooo! No, Thom! Stop!"
"And you're watching 'Alternative Nation' with... Kennedy."
"Hahahaha."
"Aw, could you say that again, Ed? You sounded so nice..."
"No Thom, really. I can't."
Thom went into a huff. "Fine. Don't say it then." He got up from the bed and went out of the room.
"What have I done?" Ed whispered to himself and massaged his face with his hands.