Hildur and Janeen are standing in the kitchen. Jonny and Colin have been missing in action for the last hour or so.
Hildur stares out the window "Did Jonny and Colin run away or something? I haven't seen them in a while"
She turns to janeen "do you know where they are?"
Janeen taps her fingers on table "Jonny was in the backyard a second ago picking dandelions"
Hildur stares blankly at janeen "since when do we have dandelions?"
"I told him he could pick them since there’s a surplus this year"
Hildur thinks of Jonny plucking flowers in the backyard "Awww he was probably picking them for his mama"
Janeen smirks "or Cozzie"
Hildur adds "or a crush..."
They both look at each other “Yeah Cozzie"
They look out the door to see Jonathan laying in the lawn and his pants are all grass stained
Hildur bends down to talk to him " Jonny what are you doing out here? Do you know where Cozzie is?"
Jonny picks a dandelion thoughtfully from the grass" I know dandelions aren't Cozzie's favourite flowers but I'm picking dandelions and giving them to Cozzie"
Hildur smiles " that's nice, Jonny"
"I only like the brown ones because when they open and the flowers come out the bees come too and I don't like the bees"
"Yeah, that's nice, Jonny. Where's Cozzie?"
Jonny continues to ramble about bees
"One time the bee hurt me and my mom had to take care of me"
"If I get hurt Cozzie will have to take care of me"
"Is Cozzie missing is that why you're asking me? "
Hildur looks back at Jonny slightly annoyed "Well I don't know where he is, Jonathan"
Jonny jumps up and screams "HIDE AND GO SEEEEK!!!!"
Jonny runs into the house yelling "COZZIE, COZZIE, COZZIE... ONE TWO THREE..."
Cozzie walks out of the bathroom
Coz looks at Jonny sort of surprised " sorry just using the bathroom"
Jonny runs into the bathroom
"COZZIE IT'S POINTY!!"
Colin turns around "What?"
Jonny yells " YOU FORGOT TO FLUSH!"
"FOR CHRISTS SAKE FLUSH FOR ME, JONNY"
A flushing noise is heard
Janeen laughs
Muffled through the floor Thom says "Ha, Coz could never remember to flush the toilet"
Once again through the muffled floor Thom yells "EW! SICK! THERES A LEAK. ITS DRIPPING ALL OVER ME AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"
Jonny walks out of the bathroom and stops in front of Hildur and Janeen
He says casually " Cozzie had corn last night"
Janeen stares at Hildur
Hildur says coolly "That's nice, Jonny."
Jonny turns away " I want to be a scientist"
He picks up his tele
Janeen looks confused at him "Jonny do you know what a scientist is?"
Jonny sits down cross legged on the floor " Yes... That singer in Guided by Voices sung that song "I am a scientist"
"and he understood very well"
"and played his guitar"
Janeen smiles and pats Jonny on the head "Yes you will be a very good scientist"
Jonny smiles and stares up at Janeen and Hildur with his huge eyes
Coz walks into the room with his hands stuffed in his pockets
Jonny stands up "Oh, coz I got you these"
He pulls a bunch of dandelions out of his pockets
Jonny looks hopefully at Coz "Do you like them? I know they're not your favourite"
Cozzie smiles " I like them a lot, Jonny"
Colin puts one of the flowers in his jacket pocket so it sticks out all weedy
Jonny smiles and gives coz a hug
The flower gets a bit flattened
"Thank you for the flowers, Jonny. I have to go now and practise my tambourine playing"
Hildur looks to Coz "But we were going to go out to eat tonight, remember?"
Colin is upset by the possibility of him not getting in his full tambourine practise " uh... no"
"Yes, we have your late birthday dinner"
"We have a reservation at a four star place"
Colin raises an eyebrow
He asks " and jonny's coming with?"
Hildur stares at Colin "Yes of course"
Colin seems amused "Apparently you've never taken Jonny out to eat, have you?"
Jonny looks up by the mentioning of his name "Yay! I like going out to eat!"
Janeen smirks "What does he need a bib or something?"
Colin looks to us "Can't Thom watch over him?"
Hildur smiles "Oh, Thom's is coming with"
Muffled cheering can be heard from the basement
Janeen mumbles "We'll have to dry him off and get him a bath first though"
Hildur says to janeen "Oh, yeah... that's something we have to do"
Colin looks pleased "Okay you do that now. I can practise playing my tambourines while you're at it"
While Colin's walking away he says "Very important for me"
After Colin's gone Jonny asks suddenly "Can I take a bath with Thom?"
Janeen looks surprised by his question "Jonny uh we're probably going to have to hand wash Thom for he's rather disagreeable"
And then she adds "You don't want us seeing you nakey do you?"
Jonny blushes “I....."
And then unfortunately changes his mind "I want to help clean Thom"
Hildur and janeen both smile
"Okay let's go get Thom from the basement"
Janeen hits the lights before they go down the stairs to get Thom
Thom yells "AAAAAH IT BURNS MY EYES"
"Sweet, sweet light!"
Hildur unhinges his chains "Shut up, Thom"
Thom sings as the girls unchain him
Jonny stands at the top of the stairs, afraid to come down
Jonny calls down the stairs " are you comiiing? I... I don't want to be alone"
Janeen yells back "We'll be right there, Jonny. Just wait outside. You wouldn't like it down here"
Weakly Jonny calls "Can I have a cookie?"
Hildur yells "There are no left. We're not letting you have any cookies until Saturday"
"We're going to a restaurant tonight"
"Then you'll be getting nice things to eat"
Hildur and Janeen drag Thom up the stairs
Janeen looks at Thom "Come on, Thomas. Bath time"
Thom’s eyes widen and he yells frantically " WHAT WHY?!"
Janeen laughs "You've been in the dungeon for days and the toilets been dripping on you"
Thom stares at the floor " oh, bugger"
He looks back up at us with his hands clasped like a beggar "Can't I just bathe myself?"
Hildur stares at Thom unmoved "No, you'd just end up listening to Linkin Park and cutting yourself with shattered glass. I saw you the other day, you know"
Thom looks away " ... I just like Linkin Park, that's all"
They all move into the bathroom
Janeen looks at Thom "and Jonny’s going to help"
Jonny walks in "Hi, Thom!"
Jonny goes over and immediately starts undressing Thom
Jonny unbuckles Thom's belt
Thom's sweat leaks down his forehead
Hildur sits in the bathtub to watch. Janeen sits up on the sink edge
Jonny pulls Thoms belt out of the loops and places it on the sink counter
Jonny stares at him "Thom you smell weird"
Thom adds a distracted "yeah"
Thom starts to whistle
Without removing her eyes janeen says like a zombie "Hildur, run the water"
Hildur turns the knob for the water not looking away from Thom and Jonny or stepping out of the tub
Hildur says quietly " Jonny, take Thom's underwear off"
Thom interrupts "WAIT let me take my shirt and socks off first"
He does this
Then Jonny gets down on his knees slowly
Jonny looks at janeen like he's asking her what he should really do
She looks back " go ahead"
Hildur drools into the bathtub
Jonny puts his index fingers inside Thom's underwear
Thom gulps
He slowly pulls it down
Hildur leans closer, now completely soaked.
Janeen sits mouth agape
Hildur stares "Now lean forward and..." she stops abruptly
"Eh... "
Hildur steps out of the bathtub
There are a few moments of silence
Thom looks around annoyed "Bloody hell! What’s wrong with you? Never seen a penis before?
Then he jumps in the tub
Janeen looks to Jonny "Haha! Jonny go get the washcloths"
Jonny says proudly " I've seen Thom's penis lots of times"
Thom looks at us nervously "Haha that Jonny… He doesn't know what he’s talking about…"
Jonny interjects "No, Thom. Remember that time! At the hotel! On the first tour in France! You and Colin had bathrobes and I couldn't find mine"
Hildur looks interested "What happened next?"
Thom scowls at Jonny "Just get the bloody washcloths"
Jonny continues "Thom gave me his and he..."
He looks at Thom quickly, hesitates, and then leaves to get the washcloths
Thom gives a sigh of relief
Thom looks around "So... upstairs is nice"
"Can I stay here?" Then he quickly looks away.
Hildur remarks "But Fraulein Helga loves you"
Thom lightens up "Does she?"
Jonny comes back with an arm full of washcloths.
Jonny looks to Thom questioningly "Thom do you want us to use the yellow ones or the pink ones?"
Thom says roughly "Just give me one"
Hildur looks to Jonny "Oh, and hand one to me and janeen, please"
Thom grabs a washcloth from Jonny's hand "I can do this myself..."
Hildur places a wash cloth on Thom's head "Just do what we say and you might get a dessert tonight"
Janeen adds "Thom go under to get your hair wet so we can shampoo it"
Thom takes a deep breath and goes underwater
He stays there for an awfully long time
He stays
Everything’s silent
And he stays...
Jonny breaks the silence “He’s not going to drown is he?”
He stares at Janeen, Hildur and then the bathtub “OH NO!”
Hildur mumbles “I think it's just his yoga lungs”
She pokes him with a hairbrush handle
Thom sits up
Jonny gives out a relieved “phew”
Hildur picks up a strawberry scented shampoo bottle
“Can I have the coconut one?” Thom casually asks and points towards a coconut shampoo bottle that’s lying up on a shelf.
“Sure...”
Hildur reaches to pick up the coconut shampoo bottle and then squirts some shampoo in her hand.
“That looks just like the stains on your pants in the Australian tour” Jonny says
“HAHAHA, JONNY!” Janeen bursts
Thom just shakes his head “Jonny… enough talk about touring”
Jonny apologises, squirts some shampoo in his hand and works it through Thom’s hair.
“Thom you've got a lot of knots”
“It's all the shit that's been leaking on me”
Hildur slaps Thom’s shoulder “Don't swear in front of Jonathan”
“I can say SHIT because there was SHIT fucking leaking on my FUCKING HAIR”
Jonny panics and puts soap in Thom's eyes before he says more curse words.
Thom squirms in the tub “Jonny! What the hell man?”
He dunks his head underwater
Jonny pouts “I'm sorry, Thom”
Hildur picks up the showerhead “Okay Thom it's time to hose you”
A jingling can be heard in the background
Hildur get confused whether to go watch Colin play or keep starting at Thom's naked body.
Jonny looks at her “I like it too when Cozzie plays tambourine”
Jonny and Hildur’s gazes meet and they feel like they understand each other completely at this one little moment.
Janeen runs to the doorway “Hey, Colin come here for a second”
Colin walks in with a tambourine on his head and 2 in his hands
“yes?”
Colin nods to Thom
“Thom”
Thom nods back
“Hey…Coz”
“I see you're naked...again”
Thom giggles ”JONNY undressed ME this time. Think about that”
Colin looks at the two girls as if to see their reactions.
Then he looks back at Thom
“Ha, uh, so Thom I made this new beat on tambourine. I was wondering if we could use it in a song”
Hildur takes a washcloth off Thom and puts it on her chin to dry the drool.
“I'm so glad you listened to my advice, Coz, and started playing tambourines.”
“I had been planning this for year now” Colin replies
“I really liked that movie Hunchback in Notre Dame... that Esmeralda girl could really work her tambourine”
Hildur stares confused at the tambourine man
“Colin have you been drinking the red in the fridge?”
“What can I say, I like red...”
“You mean green?” Jonny interrupts, smiling proudly
Colin ignores Jonny’s words
“Anyway, Thom, check this out. I have some lyrics too”
Colin starts shaking his tambourine and doing a very elaborate dance
“One nighttttttt I was all alone “
He shake, shake, shakes the tambourines.
“…and there was a tambourine in the corner”
He bends down and shakes the tambourines some more
“…and I shook the tambourine!
He starts shaking rapidly and dancing in circles.
“SHAKE, SHAKE, SHAKE”
He gets down on his knees
“TAMBOURINE QUEEN!!”
He stops and gets up, dusting his trousers “Eh? Eh? You like?
Jonny claps and laughs
“I like it but don't you think it's too similar to what beck is doing?” Thom suggests
Then he continues “Let me sing my song for you all… it's a new sonnet about the environment and dolphins”
“Thom, we're in a rush”
Hildur reaches to help Thom out of the tub.
“BUT COZ GOT TO SING HIS SONG!!”
Thom starts fighting and twitching.
“It's his birthday dinner!”
Hildur pulls harder and Thom falls out of the tub, ass first on the bathmat.
After a lot of thinking Jonny shouts “COZ TOOK ME TO SEA WORLD WE GOT TO SEE DOLPHINS”
“That's nice Jonny” Hildur mumbles
Colin explains “He was scared of all the other animals but he really liked those dolphins”
“I want to make a song out of a dolphin loop” Jonny says starry eyed
“MY GOD HE’S GENIUS” Thom shouts still struggling on the bathmat.
“Jonny those aren't sounds. Those are plastic rings that the dolphins jump through”
Collin giggles
Thom stops squirming “Fuck...“
Hildur rolls her eyes
“Jonny will you find clothes for Thom?”
“I've got some nice ones, Thom!”
Jonny runs out of the bathroom after sliding on the wet floor.
Thom is sitting, naked on the bathmat, tapping his fingers
“Thank god you brought my clothes here... clean clothes”
Hildur mumbles awkwardly “About that... we didn't bother getting your clothes. We were so focused on making Jonny feel comfortable”
Thom puts his head into the tub in an attempt to drown himself.
The girls pull him out of the water
“Jeez, you’re such an emo bastard, Thom”
Jonny returns
“Thom I got you some clothes!”
“Ah, not the pink pants” Thom shrieks
Jonny’s face looks like a question mark “pink…?”
he looks to his brother
“Wh... I don't have anything pink”
“Come on, Thom. We need to dry your hair”
Hildur picks up a huge yellow towel.
Jonny keeps looking puzzled
“But Coz got rid of all my pink clothes after what happened at that bar”
Coz points at the pants “These are salmon”
Hildur hands Thom the towel and he dries himself up
“What about underwear? I’m getting cold”
“You can have these”
Colin hands Thom bright red tighties
Thom giddily snatches them off him
“Haha, Coz I thought you threw these out”
“Nah... Too many memories”
“From touring?” Hildur casually asks
“Yeah” Thom and Colin both say
Thom gets dressed
He starts putting on Jonny’s pants. They’re about 6 inches too long.
“You need platforms”
Colin turns around to go to his room and get platforms
“Please don't make me look like more of an idiot than I do now”
Thom puts on an ‘I love the ondes martenot’ shirt
Jonny gets a comb and starts combing Thom’s hair
“My mom just used to roll my pants up, Thom. We can do that with yours”
“Sure...”
Thom rolls up the pants. Colin tries to help but Thom slaps him away
“I can do this myself”
“Are you all ready?” Hildur asks
“No, wait”
Colin picks up a clip on bow-tie from his pocket and puts it on Jonny
“My mum once let me have her clip on earrings for a whole day” Jonny says to Colin
“No, she didn't” Colin says, not fond of Jonny lying
“She would never”
Jonny looks embarrassed
to be continued...
part two
Hildur hastily hands Thom a t shirt to put on and says "Come on hurry up lets get to the car"
Jonny smiles at Thom
"Thom, that’s my favourite shirt. I hope you like it a lot"
Colin holds up a suit jacket and Jonny puts it on
Hildur looks at them
"You look dashing, Jonny"
Jonny giggles "Hehe,that was funny"
Colin looks at Hildur in a way that tells her to ignore Jonny
He straightens Jonny’s bow tie.
Thom pulls his pants up
"Can we go? I want to get this over with"
Hildur shushes Thom and then heads out the door
"Okay let's go"
"Jonny, you sit in front with Janeen"
Janeen stares blankly "God I'm like the chauffer now"
Hildur looks at her "Haha that’s what you get for being the only one who can drive"
Janeen takes Jonny by the hand
"Well come on, Jon, we better get you buckled in"
Colin and Hildur sit in the back and Thom stubbornly climbs in the trunk
Colin looks around
"So where are you taking me"
Jonny turns around to look at Coz "We're going to get ice cream”
Hildur responds "No, we're going to a fancy restaurant
Jonny fusses with his seatbelt
Colin unbuckles his seatbelt so he can help Jonny with his
Thom moans in the back seat
We pull into the parking lot. It wasn't that far away
Jonny and Colin walk through the door together
Janeen walks in and looks back. Hildur seems to be trying to pull Thom through the door
Janeen skips towards them "Come on, Thom, stop being so fussy"
Thom whines "No, I don't want to go in. I look like a fucking idiot"
Hildur looks at him
"You don't think Jonny is an idiot"
"You're wearing his clothes"
thom snaps "Well his clothes fit him"
"and he gets to wear a suit now!"
The girls finally manage him into the restaurant waiting area.
One of the waiters scans Thom noticing he's wearing pink pants and an i <3 ondes martenot tshirt
The waiter tries to hide a smile
Colin walks up to a pretty lady who's standing at the reception table
Very politely he says "I believe we have a reservation for five"
The lady looks at the bunch of them and when she sees Thom she can't help releasing a little chuckle.
The reception lady says to them "I'm sorry but he has to wear a tie at least. This is a four star restaurant"
Colin looks at the lady "Oh... wait a minute"
Colin walks up to the rest of them
He looks at janeen "I have to run to the car for a second, can I have the keys, Janeen?"
Janeen nods and hands him the keys
Colin runs out and in 30 seconds he returns with a bright red and neon green polka dotted tie with Christmas pictures on it
Colin says slightly winded "I noticed that when you… errr… abducted us"
Jonny looks up" I'm adopted?"
"No, abducted"
"Oh..."
"Can we sit down now? I want to sit"
Colin holds the tie out to Thom
Thom snatches it and emotionlessly puts it on
Then he mumbles "The food better be fucking good"
Janeen turns to him "Thom, try to keep the swearing under control"
Jonny adds "This is a four star restaurant. "
Janeen and Hildur laugh
The waiter shows up and takes the bunch to a table in the far back (Probably to hide Thom from the well paying customers).
We all sit down and pick up our menu but Jonny who's squirming in his seat
He turns to the waiter
Do you have a kids menu?
The waiter looks down at Jonny
"Eh... I think there might be a section for children at the back of the menu"
Jonny smiles "I hope you have ice cream"
His eyes widen "and cookies"
Colin turns the waiter "We're going to decide what to order now. You can leave for a while, thank you"
…and he leaves
Thom is annoyingly turning the pages of the menu muttering "Wine, wine, wine... I need wine"
Jonny starts digging through Colin’s pockets.
Colin just keeps looking at the menu and takes a small box of crayons form his suit jacket and hands them to Jon.
Jonny starts colouring the other side of his placemat
Hildur watches Jonny" I don't think you're supposed to do that, Jon"
Jonny looks up
"Its ok they're just paper"
He puts down a brown crayon and picks up a green one
He looks back up
"I do this at happy fun kid restaurant all the time"
Jonny starts squirming again
Jonny looks at us pleadingly
"I have to go to the bathroom"
Hildur doesn't look up from her menu
"Thom, take Jonny to the toilets"
Thom sighs
"But I want to orderrrrrrr"
Hildur takes down her menu
"We'll just order something for you. Colin knows what you like...now go"
Thom takes Jonny's hand, roughly
A waiter intersects them 10 feet from the table
The waiter whispers to Thom
"Uh, I can take him to the bathroom sir”
“You can sit back down”
“In the corner over there"
Jonny smiles at the waiter (He's dangerously friendly with strangers).
Thom uses the opportunity to run outside for a smoke
Inside the restaurant Janeen is staring blankly at the plastic plant nearby.
"You think they have Dr.Pepper here? Or root beer?"
Hildur also stares at the plant
"Nah... probably just fancy stuff"
Colin looks at them
"Girls, I'm grateful for this but we really should have taken Jonny to some other place"
Hildur takes her eyes off the plant
"But this night's for you"
Janeen tears her eyes away from the plant
"Like happy fun kid restaurant?"
Colin smirks
"I could have also just cooked something nice"
The waiter comes back holding Jonny’s hand.
Jonny sits back down
Colin looks around
"Where's Thom?"
Thom stumbles by the window outside
Janeen smiles
"He must be on his way in"
Thom walks in. There’s a leaf in his hair.
He sits back down at the table
A second later the light above their table dims.
The waiter seems to have dimmed the light to hide the visibility of their table.
Hildur looks to Thom
"We ordered while you were gone. The food should be here any minute"
Thom adjusts his shirt which is falling off partly
"What'd you get me?"
Janeen looks at him
"Uh, we got you some wine"
"Oh, ok"
He settles down
Jonny's got his face very close to the placemat. It looks like he’s trying to hide something with his hands.
Coz notices
"Jonny... What are you doing?"
Jonny freezes up
"nufin, coth"
Jonny looks up. He seems to be eating a crayon.
Coz gasps
"Jonny!"
Jonny looks at coz with huge eyeballs
"I'm phowwy, cothie"
Colin puts his hand in front of Jonny's mouth
"Spit!"
Jonny pouts
Then he spits some nasty chewed green crayon into Coz's hand.
Coz wipes it in his napkin
"Good. You want to have an appetite when you get your food, don't you?"
A waiter walks to the table bearing bottles of wine and one glass of milk
Thom looks up at the waiter
"Ah, finally.”
“Leave the bottle"
Thom snatches the bottle from the waiter's plate
He precedes to drink it straight from the bottle
Coz glares at him
"THOM! What's wrong with you tonight? You know better!
Then he adds quietly so only Thom can hear
“You're not jonny”
Jonny sips his milk and looks up. He has a milk mustache and proclaims
"Yeah, Thom this is a 4 star restaurant"
The waiter stands idly
"Err... the food is on its way"
The waiter walks out of sight and soon the lights above them are dimmed even more
Jonny smiles at coz
"Coz, can I try some of your juice?"
Coz picks up his wine glass
"Eh, ok Jonny just a sip though"
Jonny sips Coz's glass and then makes a sour face
He motions like he wants to spit it out
Colin picks up the glass that was meant for Thom and hands it to Jonny
"Here. Spit it there"
Jonny spits
He hands Cozzie back the glass
Pieces of crayon are in it
Colin drinks what Jonny spat
Janeen gives Coz a weird look
Coz notices Janeen’s stare
"What? This stuff is expensive."
A good sized amount of wine spills on Thom’s shirt
jonny shrieks in protest
"COZ! THOM GOT WINE ON MY FAVORITE SHIRT!!"
Jonny starts to whimper
Coz puts a hand on Jonny shoulder
"Don't worry, Jon. We can get the stain out later"
The waiter comes back with everyone’s food
He sets down some very fancy looking plates in front of everyone and then lastly sets down Jonny's which has a peanut butter and jelly sandwich on it with a piece of parsley as garnish.
Jonny picks up the parsley
He holds it in front of his nose examining it very closely
"What's this, Cozzie?"
Coz looks at it
"Oh, it’s just a decoration"
Jonny smiles
"It’s pretty"
He puts it in his pocket
He looks back at coz
"Am I getting a dessert, coz? I haven't eaten more colours"
"Yes, Jonny"
"Will there be cookies? And ice cream?"
“Cookie ice cream?”
Jonny sits up straight
"Can I have a cookie ice cream???"
Coz is no longer paying attention
"Eat your sandwich and we'll see"
Thom pours some wine over his chicken
Jonny stares
"That's not the way to eat chicken"
Colin pats Jonny on the head
Jonny looks at Coz
"Cozzie, can you cut off my crusts?"
Coz smiles and picks up a knife
He cuts of Jonny’s crusts
Jonny rolls the crust up into a ball and shoves it in his mouth
Thom starts a drunken speech
His eye floats
"I remember when I used to be the famous one, you know. I didn't have to sit in the dimly lit corner to hide me from society"
Colin sticks a fork filled with salad in his mouth
Then he picks up a napkin and wipes Jonny's mouth
"We're still famous, Thom."
Thom drinks a bit more from his bottle
"Yeah, but all the girls… they just want you and Jonny now. No more poor Thom
He hicks before continuing
“The girls they don't like me anymore"
Hildur interjects
"They do. It's just because you've been in that darn dungeon for so long that you think that. We've got lots of fan mail to you."
Thom scoffs
"I don't get any fan mail"
Hildur blinks
"Yes, you do.... we just use it to wipe Jonny’s nose"
Jonny sniffs a dripping booger back up his nose and then blows it into a piece of folded paper from his pocket.
Thom tips in his chair
"Haha yeah, the groupies"
Jonny looks confused and then says "Thom but you never wanted groupies you just wanted…"
Thom snaps to attention
"Yeah, I only had eyes for Rachel, I remember, Jon. I remember very well"
He kicks Jonny under the table
Jonny whimpers
Colin giggles
Hildur looks at Jonny
"Jonny, did you get many groupies?"
Jonny stuffs some sandwich into his mouth
"Huh?"
Colin pokes Jonny in the ribs
"Tell her about the naked lady"
Jonny blushes
"I once found a naked lady in my bed"
"She wanted to take off my clothes but I told her that Cozzie had just put them on me so I didn’t need to change"
"I don't know why she was there but I remember that soon Ed and Phil took her away"
Jonny stares blankly out the window
"Maybe she was a thief"
He says quieter "I was wearing my Astro boy pyjamas…"
Then he stares back at everyone else
"Stealing isn't nice."
Hildur makes a confused face
"Riiiight..."
She quicly turns to Colin
"How about you?"
Coz looks up while slurping some spaghetti
"Nah... I was too busy trying to get the groupies to stay away from Jonny"
Coz looks slightly saddened
"Don't know why. They just wanted him… or Thom… or Ed"
"Phil and I would just hang with the roadies, playing cards"
Jonny seems to have gotten confused
"Yeah, the cookies liked me"
"Can I have ice cream now?"
Coz looks around
"I'll just have to call the waiter"
Thom almost falls over getting up
"No, wait let me do that "
Thom calls out over the restaurant
"WAITER WE NEED SOME COOKIES AND WINE!"
The waiter rushes over
"Quiet down sir."
Then he adds
“Please…”
He puts his hands on Thoms shoulders and tries to force him into his seat
"Try not to draw so much attention to yourself, sir"
Thom yells
"I'M A CELEBRITY"
"THE CELEBRITY WOULD LIKE SOME COOKIES"
The waiter says quietly "We don't have cookies, sir"
Jonny starts crying
"Why… why are there no cookies, nice waiter man?"
Hildur and Janeen stare
The waiter looks torch red
"I'm sorry... it's just not the style of the restaurant.“
“We do have flans..."
Jonny cries out
"WHATS A FLAN?”
He sobs
“I HATE FLANS!!"
The waiter nervously stares around the restaurant
"A flan is almost like cake.”
“I'm very sorry, sir"
Thom looks up
"Do you have cheesecake?"
Thom bursts out laughing
He rolls on the floor and then underneath the table
Cozzie holds Jonny as he cries into his shirt.
Muffled sobs can be heard
"Cozzie you said if I was a good boy and ate the sandwich I'd get a cookie!"
Thom shouts from underneath the table
"I like this place. We should come here more often!"
The waiter looks petrified
Hildur stands up and places her napkin on the table
"Maybe we should go"
Colin attempts to stand up but Jonny is hugging him around the waist
"BUT I WANT COOKIES!!!"
Colin tries to unhinge Jonny's arms
"Jonny, don't shout"
Janeen tries to help
"Jon we can go to the bakery"
Jonny turns his face out of Coz's jacket
"And get cookies?”
He sniffs
“With sprinkles?"
Thom seems to have found his way out from underneath the table
"Who makes cocks with sprinkles?"
He balances himself on the table
"Heh I mean... you know"
Colin turns to the waiter who's frozen stuck
He smiles at the waiter tiredly
"Check, please"
The waiter runs away
Thom drunkly looks himself over
"I do fancy myself in these pink pants"
Jonny seems to have settled down a bit
"I knew you'd like them"
"…And they're not pink"
Colin pats Jonny on the head
Colin and Jon then simultaneously say
"They're salmon"
The waiter hurries back with the check
Thom stumbles up to waiter and hugs him
"Thanks for the lovely evening man"
The waiter awkwardly pats Thom on the back
"Erm… thank you"
Colin turns to the girls
"We're off"
The waiter sort of rushes them out the door
Everyone exits and the waiter gives a sigh of relief
Thom stumbles back in
He looks at the waiter
"Sorry man, I forgot my umbrella"
He walks over and takes a random umbrella out of the umbrella holder and then leaves
the end!!
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